weegegirl 2 #1 May 25, 2004 What can I do??? I met my friend Bill's "fiance" this weekend. I've known Bill for 9 years now. He met this girl 3 months ago, apparently "fell in love", proposed, and she already has planned out the entire wedding and from the sound of it, his whole life. Now, I know Bill well, and so do a few of my friends. He's been kinda desperate to "get laid" over the last couple of years... not the best in social situations... and we all kinda agree that this whole thing is BS. I know it is NONE of my business and there is NOTHING I can do... but it sucks to sit back and watch a friend enter into a life of hell. I feel rather helpless. Plus, in a rather selfish way... I really don't want to deal with this girl being at every social function we have over the next 50 years. Grrrr... whuffos! I guess I just needed to vent. Anyone been in a similar situation? Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Unstable 9 #2 May 25, 2004 I can understand your frusterations - my family has felt the same way about my brother's last wife and three fiances..... My advice is this - Respect his decisions but let him know where you stand. If possible, try to convince him to wait a while longer before the wedding - time will be the only thing to tell about this twits true character.... I hope that helped - that is the general formula we've used the last couple of times..... Keep us posted, you know you can always find your friends here on DZ.com...=========Shaun ========== Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Slappie 9 #3 May 25, 2004 I had one of my best friends do what Bill is doing right now. It was sad to watch his life be sponged from his body everytime I saw him. Glad it only took her 5 years to suck his bank accounts dry and leave him an emotional shell of the man he once was. Not much you can do, love is blind. Just pray he wake up before she's done him to much harm. "Find out just what any people will quietly submit to and you have found out the exact measure of injustice and wrong which will be imposed upon them." Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
happythoughts 0 #4 May 25, 2004 My niece used to date an obnoxious twit who constantly complained about her "interfering uncle". Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Unstable 9 #5 May 25, 2004 QuoteNot much you can do, love is blind. Just pray he wake up before she's done him to much harm. That comment hit home on me...... I agree.....I Beg you, Pray, plead, ask, nobody deserves that.....=========Shaun ========== Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
NicoNYC 0 #6 May 25, 2004 QuoteI know it is NONE of my business and there is NOTHING I can do...Like you said, nothing you can do and nothing you should do. QuoteNow, I know Bill well, and so do a few of my friends. He's been kinda desperate to "get laid" over the last couple of years... not the best in social situations... and we all kinda agree that this whole thing is BS.Unless you've been with Bill 24/7 or you are Bill, you couldn't possibly know what's been going on in his head. He may have changed what he wants or expects from a girl. Maybe those needs and wants are something that's not shown. Maybe she cooks for him, maybe she picks up his dishes and washes it for him, maybe she sets the table for him, maybe she serves him hand and feet, maybe she comforts him in his time of need, yada yada yada. Unless you're that fly in the wall you couldn't possibly know what Bill wants or needs. QuotePlus, in a rather selfish way... I really don't want to deal with this girl being at every social function we have over the next 50 years. Grrrr... whuffos!If you really are a great friend to be like you claim to be, I would sit on the sidelines and entertain her, for Bill's sake. You're not living with her, if entertaining her for a few hours during friendly functions means that you have to suffer the ordeal for bill's sake, I would. QuoteI guess I just needed to vent. Anyone been in a similar situation?I am in that same situation. I am Bill. My friends and family don't approve of my girlfriend, the single mom that I've been serious with for the past year and a half. My friends have known me to date beautiful, career orientated, successful, educated, go-getting women. My current girlfriend is the exact opposite. Which is why I get the lip from friends. Well, she satisfies other needs and wants that the other women in my life never had. She appreciates everything I do for her and shows it. She's willing to help me out whenever I need it. And she always says "we're in this together". Those are just the minor things that I love about her. Anyway, I'm sure you get the point. Bill is a big boy. If he falls on his face, it he will learn from it. Whether he learns his lesson from a breakup or a divorce, that's something Bill has to face on his own. If you are truly his friend, you will be there for him when he falls. End of Story. How many hits of adrenaline can you take? Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
turtlespeed 226 #7 May 25, 2004 Heh, funny you mention that. My ex-wife is going off to vegas to get married somewhere around the 3rd of June - Now, I don't know him very well, but I DID warn him once.*shrug* Now we have some mutual friends and they all say he has changed, his expression is all sollen, and melencholy, and depressed looking. He never laughs anymore . . . you get the picture . . .He just "needs" a mom for his daughter. LOL - well buddy - I warned you. *Sigh* I'm not usually into the whole 3-way thing, but you got me a little excited with that. - Skymama BTR #1 / OTB^5 Official #2 / Hellfish #408 / VSCR #108/Tortuga/Orfun Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
weegegirl 2 #8 May 25, 2004 QuoteQuoteNot much you can do, love is blind. Just pray he wake up before she's done him to much harm. That comment hit home on me...... I agree.....I Beg you, Pray, plead, ask, nobody deserves that..... No sh*t. I tried to say something to him in a nice way. In an email yesterday morning, I had written... "ummm... so karen.... she's cool. but boy does she have your life planned out!!! hahahaha. just hope it's what you want dude. :) " he didn't seam to "get it" I guess. He was definately the topic of whispering that was going on this weekend. Everyone of our mutual friends feels the same way I do... if not stronger. She just wouldn't shut up. I asked her... so, does Bill have anything to do with the planning of the wedding? And with an evil cackle of a laugh, she told me that she's letting him "pick the music" but that she would definatley be editing the list. I was like... gee, great. Oh, well. His life I guess. Hahahaha... so, at the wedding, when they ask "does anyone have a problem with these people getting married"... I'll be the one standing up and objecting. Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Unstable 9 #9 May 25, 2004 Give him time - Just hope he doesn't do anything to rash (I.E. GET MARRIED!!) before the Time Factor can settle things out...=========Shaun ========== Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
jtval 0 #10 May 25, 2004 QuoteHeh, funny you mention that. My ex-wife is going off to vegas to get married somewhere around the 3rd of June - Now, I don't know him very well, but I DID warn him once.*shrug* WANT ME TO GO HECKLE THEM? WEEGE, hey it sucks when a friend marries an ass, but the only way you can do something about it, is if you "DO" him and open his eyes. doesn't sound like that is an option. so let him know how you feel WITHOUT being too negative or YOU'LL look like the ass EDIT TYPO'sMy photos My Videos Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
turtlespeed 226 #11 May 25, 2004 QuoteQuoteHeh, funny you mention that. My ex-wife is going off to vegas to get married somewhere around the 3rd of June - Now, I don't know him very well, but I DID warn him once.*shrug* WANT ME TO GO HECKLE THEM? LMFAO NO, but you could drop off a note: Good luck - I really do wish you all the best - but - You were warned - Clint I'm not usually into the whole 3-way thing, but you got me a little excited with that. - Skymama BTR #1 / OTB^5 Official #2 / Hellfish #408 / VSCR #108/Tortuga/Orfun Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
jtval 0 #12 May 25, 2004 LOL if only there wasnt 10,000 wedding chapels here. ( you got the name of theirs) HAHA!My photos My Videos Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
turtlespeed 226 #13 May 25, 2004 I can get it. Naw - I really do hope that it works for them - God knows it didn't work for me. Several people asked me what hapened to me - All of a sudden my outlook on life was 500% better. Go figure.I'm not usually into the whole 3-way thing, but you got me a little excited with that. - Skymama BTR #1 / OTB^5 Official #2 / Hellfish #408 / VSCR #108/Tortuga/Orfun Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
skymama 37 #14 May 25, 2004 Switch sides for a minute. If this was you, would you want Bill butting into your life this way? I assume you know what is best for yourself, give Bill the benefit of the doubt also. She is Da Man, and you better not mess with Da Man, because she will lay some keepdown on you faster than, well, really fast. ~Billvon Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Brains 2 #15 May 25, 2004 QuoteSwitch sides for a minute. If this was you, would you want Bill butting into your life this way? I assume you know what is best for yourself, give Bill the benefit of the doubt also. Yeah! Maybe Bill thinks Jason is a TWIT!! Just kidding. Never look down on someone, unless they are going down on you. Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
weegegirl 2 #16 May 25, 2004 QuoteSwitch sides for a minute. If this was you, would you want Bill butting into your life this way? I assume you know what is best for yourself, give Bill the benefit of the doubt also. I know, I know.... And you are TOTALLY right... it's just tough. I guess this girl was just sooooooo different than the rest of our "crew" that it was hard to deal with. She was one of those "all about me" kinda people and she honestly didn't seam to give a damn about Bill's opinion on anything. She just kept telling him "how it was going to be." I'm gonna leave him be and try to find a way to relate to her I guess. Just tough. And I want the best for him. I guess it's hard to stand by and watch because I am the exact opposite of this woman. The thing I love about being in a wonderful relationship, is that second opinion that balances my life out. I would never want to be with someone that was just a "space filler" or as the rest of my friends put it "a pet." And that is what this girl has made my friend. Oh, well. Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
weegegirl 2 #17 May 25, 2004 QuoteQuoteSwitch sides for a minute. If this was you, would you want Bill butting into your life this way? I assume you know what is best for yourself, give Bill the benefit of the doubt also. Yeah! Maybe Bill thinks Jason is a TWIT!! Just kidding. hahahahha... actually Bill and the rest of the crew LOVED him!! and i think jason would say that this girl was a total TWIT too. dork! Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
lawrocket 3 #18 May 25, 2004 I do family law and divorce. Have him send me an e-mail, and I'll explain it to him... My wife is hotter than your wife. Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
FallingILweenie 0 #19 May 25, 2004 "Plus, in a rather selfish way... I really don't want to deal with this girl being at every social function we have over the next 50 years. Grrrr... whuffos!" if she's as bad as you say, chances are you won't have to deal with her for nearly that long... Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
turtlespeed 226 #20 May 25, 2004 Observer ride and a small *push* Just kidding I'm not usually into the whole 3-way thing, but you got me a little excited with that. - Skymama BTR #1 / OTB^5 Official #2 / Hellfish #408 / VSCR #108/Tortuga/Orfun Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
weegegirl 2 #21 May 25, 2004 Quote Observer ride and a small *push* Just kidding bad turtle! hahahaha Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
jlmiracle 7 #22 May 25, 2004 When I got divorced, several people came to me and said "I can't belive you married him to begin with". Now all those statements kinda made me a little mad cause no one said them to me before hand. Tell him how you feel about her and why. If he is one of those (I was), and says "it will get better when blah blah blah," its doesn't. I wish all those that thought I shouldn't have gotten married (to the first guy) would have told me. I don't know if it would have made a difference, but I will never know. Good luck. JudyBe kinder than necessary because everyone you meet is fighting some kind of battle. Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
cocheese 0 #23 May 25, 2004 Yea i was going to warn Jason about you, but decided it was none of my business. Aren't ya glad i didn't ? ( don't answer this one Jason)I disagree with your post.Now can we all just get on a load ? Love ya Oliz Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
DrunkMonkey 0 #24 May 25, 2004 QuoteNot much you can do, love is blind. Just pray he wake up before she's done him to much harm. Disagree. There is much you can do. If he's settling for a psycho hose beast, you should open his eyes to the truth, even if it takes a shovel to the back of the head... Encourage him to get a pre-nup. And love is not only blind, it is also mute, deaf, and perpetually on a myriad of hallucinogens... Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
weegegirl 2 #25 May 25, 2004 Quotepsycho hose beast hahahaha. i like that. that is perfect. Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
