Lessons learned

[tunaplanet 0]

Probably heard some of these before but saw these and thought they were hysterical.


1. A king size waterbed holds enough water to fill a 2000 sq. foot house 4 inches deep.

2. If you spray hair spray on dust bunnies and run over them with roller
blades, they can ignite.

3. A 3 year olds voice is louder than 200 adults in a crowded restaurant.

4. If you hook a dog leash over a ceiling fan, the motor is not strong
enough to rotate a 42 pound boy wearing Batman underwear and a superman
cape. It is strong enough, however, to spread paint on all four walls of
a 20 by 20 foot room.

5. You should not throw baseballs up when the ceiling fan is on. When
using the ceiling fan as a bat, you have to throw the ball up a few
times before you get a hit. A ceiling fan can hit a baseball a long way.

6. The glass in windows (even double pane) doesn't stop a baseball hit by a ceiling fan.

7. When you hear the toilet flush and the words "Uh-oh", it's already too late.

8. Brake fluid mixed with Clorox makes smoke, and lots of it.

9. A six year old can start a fire with a flint rock even though a 36
year old man says they can only do it in the movies. A magnifying glass
can start a fire even on an overcast day.

10. Certain Legos will pass through the digestive tract of a four year old.

11. Play Dough and Microwave should never be used in the same sentence.

12. Super glue is forever.

13. No matter how much Jell-O you put in a swimming pool you still can't walk on water.

14. Pool filters do not like Jell-O.

15. VCR's do not eject PB&J sandwiches even though TV commercials show they do.

16. Garbage bags do not make good parachutes.

17. Marbles in gas tanks make lots of noise when driving.

18. You probably do not want to know what that odor is.

19. Always look in the oven before you turn it on. Plastic toys do not like ovens.

20. The fire department has a 5 minute response time.

21. The spin cycle on the washing machine does not make earth worms
dizzy. It will, however, make cats dizzy.

22. Cats throw up twice their weight when dizzy.

Forty-two

[bertusgeert 1]

HAHHAHA

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As jy dom is moet jy bloei!

[d_squared431 0]

TPM Sister#130ONTIG#1
I love vodka.I love vodka cause it rhymes with Tuaca~LisaH
You having a clean thought is like billyvance having a clean post.iluvtofly

[Vertifly 0]

This obviously is the resulting advice from someone with a few children and years of parenting experience.

See you there if it ever happens...

[Dagny 0]

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16. Garbage bags do not make good parachutes.

Damn!! Back to the drawing board. Hey, anyone wanna buy a Hefty 170?

Take me, I am the drug; take me, I am hallucinogenic.
-Salvador Dali

[VectorBoy 0]

21. The spin cycle on the washing machine does not make earth worms
dizzy. It will, however, make cats dizzy.

22. Cats throw up twice their weight when dizzy.

[wlie 0]

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8. Brake fluid mixed with Clorox makes smoke, and lots of it.

I gotta see this

My other ride is the relative wind.