ACMESkydiver 0 #1 May 24, 2004 What do you call a flying Turtle? --> A 'Shell-i-copter' Ok, so maybe I did get it off my daughter's icee-pop stick, but it's all good!~Jaye Do not believe that possibly you can escape the reward of your action. Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
turtlespeed 226 #2 May 24, 2004 *Humph* It is so nice of you to think of me.I'm not usually into the whole 3-way thing, but you got me a little excited with that. - Skymama BTR #1 / OTB^5 Official #2 / Hellfish #408 / VSCR #108/Tortuga/Orfun Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
ACMESkydiver 0 #3 May 24, 2004 Yeah did you see the commercial for the new scene-something on this new digital camera with the dancing Turtle?? I was thinking of you on that one too!! ~Jaye Do not believe that possibly you can escape the reward of your action. Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
turtlespeed 226 #4 May 24, 2004 No but I would like to.I'm not usually into the whole 3-way thing, but you got me a little excited with that. - Skymama BTR #1 / OTB^5 Official #2 / Hellfish #408 / VSCR #108/Tortuga/Orfun Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
ACMESkydiver 0 #5 May 24, 2004 Quote*Humph* It is so nice of you to think of me. Don't get all frumpy with me, mister!! Plenty of men would love to think that they have hundreds of thousands of women salivating at the thought of eating them... ~Jaye Do not believe that possibly you can escape the reward of your action. Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Misslmperfect 0 #6 May 24, 2004 in west virginia, all the hillbillies (read my cousins...LMAO) go down in the creeks and pull turtles out of their holes, then boil em, fry em, and eat em.... hmmmm....turtle, you better stay south Oh Canada, merci pour la livraison! Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
turtlespeed 226 #7 May 24, 2004 QuoteQuote*Humph* It is so nice of you to think of me. Don't get all frumpy with me, mister!! Plenty of men would love to think that they have hundreds of thousands of women salivating at the thought of eating them... SWEEET! I'm not usually into the whole 3-way thing, but you got me a little excited with that. - Skymama BTR #1 / OTB^5 Official #2 / Hellfish #408 / VSCR #108/Tortuga/Orfun Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
ACMESkydiver 0 #8 May 24, 2004 Ok Turtle, here's another one for ya: THE TURTLE A man strides into a bar wearing a long trench coat and carrying a closed box. He walks up to the bar places the box upon it. He then opens the trench coat, revealing not only that he is buck naked but also very erect. He then opens the box and removes a large turtle, at least a good ten pounds or so in weight. He brings it near his pecker and when it gets in reach it clamps on to his pecker. He then releases the turtle from his hands, and it hangs above the stools that line the bar. He walks up the length of the stools and back again, not saying a word. When he reaches the point from which he started, he smacks the turtle on the head, causing it to release his pecker from its grasp. He puts it back in the box, closes his trench coat, and turns to the rest of the patrons of the bar. "I'll give any man who can do that $1000," he says. Then, from the back of the room, a really scrawny, dorky, feeble looking guy stands up and says, "I'll do it... as long as you promise not to hit me on the head when I'm done." ~Jaye Do not believe that possibly you can escape the reward of your action. Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
ACMESkydiver 0 #9 May 24, 2004 And yet another... Baby Turtle A baby turtle was standing at the bottom of a large tree and with a deep sigh, started to climb. About an hour later, he reached a very high branch and walked along to the end. He turned and spread all four flippers and launched himself off the branch. On landing at the bottom in a pile of soft, dead leaves, he shook himself off, walked back to the bottom of the tree and with a sigh started to climb. About an hour later, he again reached the very high branch, walked along, turned, spread his flippers and flung himself off the branch. Again, he landed on the bottom, shook himself off, went to the bottom of the tree, sighed and started climbing. Watching these proceedings from the end of the branch were two little birds. Mommy bird turned to Daddy bird and said, "Don't you think it's time we told him he was adopted?"~Jaye Do not believe that possibly you can escape the reward of your action. Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Dougiefresh 0 #10 May 24, 2004 Dude, I think she likes you... Human beings, who are almost unique in having the ability to learn from the experience of others, are also remarkable for their apparent disinclination to do so. --Douglas Adams Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
ACMESkydiver 0 #11 May 24, 2004 Now I'm republican, but this was funny anyhoo... Bush the Post Turtle A 70-year-old Texas Rancher got his hand caught in a gate while working cattle. He wrapped the hand in his bandana and drove his pickup to the doctor. While suturing the laceration, the doctor asked the old man about George W. Bush being in the White House. The old Texan said, "Well, ya know, Bush is a 'Post Turtle.'" Not knowing what the old man meant, the doctor asked what a Post Turtle was. The old man looked at him and drawled, "When you're driving down a country road and you come across a fence post with a turtle balanced on top, that's a Post Turtle." The old man saw a puzzled look on the doctor's face, so he continued to explain: "You know he didn't get there by himself, he doesn't belong there, he can't get anything done while he's up there, and you just want to help the poor dumb bastard get down." What do you get when you cross a urologist with a turtle? Answer: Funny tasting turtle soup! A wise saying about turtles: "Behold the turtle. He only makes progress when he sticks his neck out."~Jaye Do not believe that possibly you can escape the reward of your action. Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
ACMESkydiver 0 #12 May 24, 2004 QuoteDude, I think she likes you... Naw I hate the green bastard but I clicked on a link from a link from a link today and it was about turtles and there went the rest of my productive day...~Jaye Do not believe that possibly you can escape the reward of your action. Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
sdctlc 0 #13 May 25, 2004 Here is one thats in line style-wise with lots o the T-mans posts, just plain silly... There once was a baby elephant and a baby turtle drinking from a river deep in the jungle. For no reason, the turtle reaches over and bites the elephant's tail, really hard. Years and years later, the same elephant, now grown up, is by the same river, having a drink with his giraffe buddy, when the same turtle that bit him on the tail all those years ago wanders up to the river. The elephant rears back a leg and kicks the turtle as hard as he can, sending him flying way off into the jungle. "Why did you do that?" the giraffe asks. "When we both were babies, that turtle bit my tail for no reason," the elephant replied. "Wow! You must have a good memory!" exclaimed the giraffe. "Yep!" said the elephant. "I've got Turtle-Recall.""He who Hesitates Shall Inherit the Earth!" Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
turtlespeed 226 #14 June 7, 2004 That's Really really bad.I'm not usually into the whole 3-way thing, but you got me a little excited with that. - Skymama BTR #1 / OTB^5 Official #2 / Hellfish #408 / VSCR #108/Tortuga/Orfun Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Brains 2 #15 June 7, 2004 QuoteThat's Really really bad. What is really really bad is you waiting this long to respond to it. Some post whore YOU are. Never look down on someone, unless they are going down on you. Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
turtlespeed 226 #16 June 7, 2004 I was looking for a porno picture of me, and I ran across this. It must have happened when Iwas jumping somewhere.I'm not usually into the whole 3-way thing, but you got me a little excited with that. - Skymama BTR #1 / OTB^5 Official #2 / Hellfish #408 / VSCR #108/Tortuga/Orfun Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Brains 2 #17 June 7, 2004 QuoteI was looking for a porno picture of me, and I ran across this. It must have happened when Iwas jumping somewhere. I'll let it slide, i can see how a search: joke,turtlespeed would be used in searching for a porno pic of you. Never look down on someone, unless they are going down on you. Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
turtlespeed 226 #18 June 7, 2004 Quote I'll let it slide, i can see how a search: joke,turtlespeed would be used in searching for a porno pic of you. Actually it was "Turtle eat"I'm not usually into the whole 3-way thing, but you got me a little excited with that. - Skymama BTR #1 / OTB^5 Official #2 / Hellfish #408 / VSCR #108/Tortuga/Orfun Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
