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skybytch

fear of failure

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Spinning off the what are you afraid of thread... Sorry to get all philosophical and stuff on ya :P

A few people said they are afraid of failure. My question is why?

What is success? Achieving a goal? If so then failure could be defined as not achieving a goal, yes? So let's reframe this word - instead of "fail" let's use "not succeed."

In any situation where there as a chance of success or not succeeding, what's the worst that can happen? You can not succeed. What happens if you don't succeed? As long as you can say you did your best, and you come away from it having learned something... you didn't fail, you learned how not to do it. So you move on and try a different way, or something else entirely. I'd even go so far as to say that even if you didn't do your best, as long as you come away from it having learned something then you didn't fail.

What is failure then, if it's not "not succeeding"? Failure is never doing anything... because you're afraid. Failure is not living your dream... because you're afraid. Failure is a lack of action... because you're afraid.

What are you afraid of then, if not failure? Success?

Discuss...

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I think that in the terms of being afraid of failure there are different degrees.

Like some people it would seem are afraid to fail at all. They want to do something and rock at it right away. I think that this is prevelant but not as much so as people who see "failure" as a end term rather than a means.

It would seem to me that people who are afraid of faliure are most often afraid of reaching the end of thier life without completing the goals that they set for themselves. I think that this the main thing people are thinking as failure. It gets treated as an end in life. The way that your discussing failure is a means to and end. To keep going on the psychological standpoint.

If you don't sit back and realize that failing at one specific task will only teach you something and help you learn more about other things. You can't treat the failure as the end all of your existance. You have to move on.
~D
Where troubles melt like lemon drops Away above the chimney tops That's where you'll find me.
Swooping is taking one last poke at the bear before escaping it's cave - davelepka

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I would say that failure is when you quit trying. Up till that point you simply have not yet suceeded.

I might never suceed but I wont ever fail either because I'll never quit trying B|

Well...till I'm dead anyway. At that point I will have failed to live I guess ;)
__

My mighty steed

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I'll jump in here since I put Failure for what I am afraid of....

From what I see, there are two types of people who fear failure - Those who fear it because of their fagile ego's and those who fear it for the sake of those around them...
The first case I mentioned here is when a person is afraid of failure because it will prove to them that they are human - They know in their hearts that they will not succeed in everything, but they bury their heads in the sand and fear failure because it will force them to be more of a self-actualizer...

The other category I have in mind I could have worded much better in this post and my previous posts about this.... What I fear is letting those I love around me down, falling short where those I love have counted on me.
"Failure" is a broad and overused term - We all NEED some degree of "failure" in our lives to prompt a change or further our growth in something. It is like a catalyst when we look inside ourselves..
=========Shaun ==========


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Well, I didn't answer in the other thread... but my fear of failure is basically on a large scale... I'm worried about failing ... well, in life... like being a poor street bum who can't support myself... okay, so maybe not so extreme... but I have a view of how I want to be and where I want to be in the future and If I don't achieve something near that level, I may feel as if I have failed...

But I'm probably young and naive ... so what do I know... just my thoughts :P

*does my post even make sense?*

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What I fear is letting those I love around me down, falling short where those I love have counted on me.



I think I see what you mean... you don't fear not succeeding, you fear the cost of the lesson that comes with not succeeding?

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I think I see what you mean... you don't fear not succeeding, you fear the cost of the lesson that comes with not succeeding?



Please Excuse me, I'm having a hard time putting my feelings into words.
I fear letting those I love down - Whether or not that fear comes from the cost of the lessons that come with not succeeding or whether it comes from something else, I'm honestly not sure. I'm grateful that you are able to look at my unorganized thoughts and understand what I am trying to say. Expressing myself has always been a challenge..:S
=========Shaun ==========


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My father was a Col. In the USAF. Now a recluse. 300 missions in NAM including whacking Hanoi. Pentagon tour. Vice wing comandeer at Clark AFB in the Phillipines when the POW's came back. Fighter pilot instructor. Says he is a failure because he didn't reach his goal which was " To change the world". Set your goals a little smaller and work your way to larger things i say.[:/]
I hold it true, whate'er befall;
I feel it, when I sorrow most;
'Tis better to have loved and lost
Than never to have loved at all.

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I believe it was Albert Einstein that said "Aim for the stars. You may not get there, but you'll get pretty high trying anyways."

With the right attitude, these can be words to live by. With the wrong attitude, these words can make one's life a living hell.
Attitude is 99% of everything, and I think it's important to remember that as this thread goes further... :)
=========Shaun ==========


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It seems to me that failure without trying is much scarier than failure itself. Also, in my experience, giving it your best may not get you to your goal, but you somehow always seem to end up getting a least redirected towards another goal. Not quite sure whether i am using the right terminology to explain it, but I have rarely seen/experienced total failure when really trying to succeed. I guess I should give it some time...

Nick

"For once you have tasted Absinthe you will walk the earth with your eyes turned towards the gutter, for there you have been and there you will long to return."

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Isn't the old saying "To fail is never to have tried in the first place?" So if that's true, then how could one fail at life....
TPM Sister#130ONTIG#1
I love vodka.I love vodka cause it rhymes with Tuaca~LisaH
You having a clean thought is like billyvance having a clean post.iluvtofly

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In any situation where there as a chance of success or not succeeding, what's the worst that can happen? You can not succeed. What happens if you don't succeed? As long as you can say you did your best, and you come away from it having learned something... you didn't fail, you learned how not to do it.



I'm not sure many are seeing the costs of failure. It may be far more than just pride.

Failure can mean starting over with no cash in the pocket. Opening your own business is putting a lot on the line. It can mean lost time - a particular dilemna for women in a marginal relationship who wish to have children. Or in careers - it's hard to start over at 40. Do you leave a Fortune 100 company for a startup?

The fear is giving up a known thing for a possible payoff, but if failure ensues, a loss of some magnitude. You can't always go back to what you have in the beginning.

It's also true that people will regret not taking that chance, sometimes more than they would had they tried and failed. When the true opportunity cost is low, it's nearly always better to go out swinging.

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Isn't the old saying "To fail is never to have tried in the first place?" So if that's true, then how could one fail at life....



I dont think it's quite that simple.
Very often, the idea itself is a failure, not it's execution.
I have failed to make a hookturn because, at 42 jumps, I have never tried. Should I be trying ?

My point is that many people bite off more than they can chew sometimes and reflect on their failures as something that should never have been attempted in the first place. In retrospect, they feel foolish, embarassed and fearful of similar mistakes in future.

As skybytch suggested earlier, the price of failure can have more serious implications than a simple denial of success.
B|

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