Freaking low-flow toilets...

[lawrocket 3]

I've never had the honor of a low flow toilet. I find them to be some of the most pain-in-the-butt, undignified things ever.

I just moved into a new house. The neighbors have a barking dog (an entirely different thread topic). That gets me bitter, but not like our damned toilets.

Low flow toilets suck. Already there have been a few times when I'm finished, and come back a couple of hours later to find a random floater left behind. So I have to flush it again, therefore assuring a full 3.2 gallons per flush (whereas my previous toilet - the evil type - used less than three).

Not to mention the thoughts of entertaining guests and having them see shit left behind, and I mean shit in every sense of the word. They also have a peculiar proclivity for regurgitating toilet paper. Sure, not as bad as spitting up a couple logs, but still ranking on the grossness factor.

So, what the heck can I do to increase porcelain performance? I'm open to any suggestions on rigging them up to flush once and flush right.

My wife is hotter than your wife.

[seekfun 0]

Take smaller shits.

"...there is a there out there..." - Tom Robbins

[PhillyKev 0]

Use laxatives. It's just the big chunky ones that like to float.

[bodypilot1 0]

Go spend a month in Thailand with the squatters and NO toilet paper they have and you'll LOVE your new toilets in no time!

-

www.WestCoastWingsuits.com
www.PrecisionSkydiving.com

[SeaKev 0]

Gonna have to spend a little dough. PM me and I can give you all the info on pressure-assist models vs. gravity models.

[seekfun 0]

Quote

I can give you all the info on pressure-assist models vs. gravity models

SeaKev must take big shits.

"...there is a there out there..." - Tom Robbins

[lawrocket 3]

Yeah, I think those pressure assist ones are the ones with those handles in the public restrooms, right?

I just don't know how much dough I want to spend on it.

My wife is hotter than your wife.

[VanillaSkyGirl 6]

Hate low flow!

Jerry, you kind of made me laugh and grossed me out with your post. Good luck with your problem, my friend!

[rehmwa 2]

Start taking protein supplements (weight gainer fuel) -then everything sinks . Or:

Work your hardest to make low flow a LAW in you area. Then work to get it enforced and retro-required so everyone has to deal with it. Then when everybody in the neighborhood is fed up and the water usage goes up (like most well meaning and incompletely thought through enviro-laws), the entire town can go after the toilet manufacturer for big bucks. Use the money to build a wind tunnel - install a portable toilet on the top floor with the catch tank at ground level. Every morning go to the tunnel to poop (everybody poops). Gravity will take care of your problem at this stage. While you're there, you just a well use the tunnel each morning for a bit. Practice, become excellent and leverage that into becoming a celebrity athlete. Then use the fame and money to hire someone else to poop for you.

You see, it's relatively simple if you think it through.

...
Driving is a one dimensional activity - a monkey can do it - being proud of your driving abilities is like being proud of being able to put on pants

[SeaKev 0]

SeaKev must take big shits.

[ryoder 1,590]

Note the 2nd paragraph here:

http://www.seminolecountyfl.gov/envsrvs/watercon/lowflowtoilets.asp

(Not that I would condone such criminal behaviour.)

"There are only three things of value: younger women, faster airplanes, and bigger crocodiles" - Arthur Jones.

[VectorBoy 0]

Smuggle some civilized toilets from canada, bring enough to share with your friends.

• Quote

[lawrocket 3]

Quote

Smuggle some civilized toilets from canada, bring enough to share with your friends.

Yeah, I'll bring some freon while I'm at it. And I'll also steal the Stanley Cup from Calgary. Oops! My bad. Canada will never get a Stanley Cup again.

My wife is hotter than your wife.

[wingnut 0]

just saw the rerun of the king of the hill where hank is fighting the city council about the low flow toliets that are manditory in the town....... very funny episode... i was just wonderinghow i would get one of the toliets they have in public restrooms.... ya know the ones with the mainline from the watter/ no tank... those would be cool...... you could even build a fals tank just for looks......

______________________________________
"i have no reader's digest version"

[headoverheels 334]

I replaced a standard old toilet, which really didn't flush that well, with a low-flow. I was expecting it not to flush well, but the low-flow works better.

I have a friend who has one of the pressure assisted flushers -- works great.

[Slappie 9]

I have an old highschool friend here in Houston whos a Tile Contractor. He does alot of bathroom remodels. It's against the building code to install the old type toilets during a remodel etc.. So when he does older houses he keeps the old toilets. He can sell them upwards of $500+ sometimes. He keeps a stash of about 10 15 old styles in a warehouse. Sometimes the home owners pay him extra for an old style toilet.

Low-Flow is the worst idea.. Maybe you can find an underground market of old styles and replace all your toilets.. Just a thought, I know there is a market in Houston. They're pretty pricey tho so be ready with the wallet.

"Find out just what any people will quietly submit to and you have found out the exact measure of injustice and wrong which will be imposed upon them."

[Cajundude 0]

Eat less fiber so your shit sinks.

[smiles 0]

ahh- one thing I appreciate about my country!! We still have 1 flush does it all..........

Actually just renovating my bathroom and the "green toilet" had to go- nothing wrong with it except the color... are you interested?? Attached pic of it trying to fit in my backyard right now as a "peice of art".

SMiles