skybytch 273 #1 June 13, 2004 Get your mind outta the gutter, that is not what I meant by that subject line. As a public service for those of us who are currently or may in the future find ourselves laying down for an extended period of time due to injury, here's a list of things to do to keep you from going insane while you recover. 1) Watch endless skydiving videos. If you feel up to it you can do this in the hospital before they send you home. The whuffo roommate stuck in the bed next to you won't mind at all, especially if you narrate the video for them ("Look! That's me! That guys not me but I know him."). 2) Tired of looking at that same old patch of ceiling? Rotate your body 180 degrees on the mattress (ie put your head where your feet usedta be). Enjoy the fresh new scenery. 3) Take artistic photos from numerous different angles of your scars, incisions, external hardware, crutches, wheelchair, bedpan, bandages, etc. 4) Figure to the minute how much longer you have to wait to take your next pain pill. Announce the remaining time loudly and often to whoever happens to be in the vicinity. 5) Remind your SO (if you still have one after fucking up so badly) that just because you can't move doesn't mean you don't want to get laid. If you ask nicely, s/he may do all the work! 6) Read a book. Or ten. 7) Post whore. This is where that decision to buy a lappie instead of a desktop puter will really pay off. 8) Call everyone in your phone book in alphabetical order. Whine about not being able to jump/run/drive/walk/wipe your own ass. This is especially fun in the middle of a beautiful Saturday afternoon when the majority of the people in your phone book are off jumping. 9) Have some friends take you to the dz. Display your medical equipment proudly. Sit someplace where the tandems will have to see you. When they ask if you did that skydiving say "No. I did it landing." Even if your injury was totally non-skydiving related. 10) Contemplate how you can be sure that you will never again spend days/weeks/months laying around in pain... or if you do at least it won't be your fault next time. 11) Explore a new hobby. Preferably one that can be done while laying flat on your back (mind back outta the gutter, we covered sex earlier in the list). Or learn all there is to know about something you've always wanted to do but can't do now cuz you're stuck flat on your back. 12) Kill kittens (yeah, I know we covered sex earlier but that was sex with someone else. Different animal entirely). Anyone got any more? Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
rhino 0 #2 June 13, 2004 Quote1) Watch endless skydiving videos. Who puts them in the VCR? Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
CrazyIvan 0 #3 June 13, 2004 Quote12) Kill kittens (yeah, I know we covered sex earlier but that was sex with someone else. Different animal entirely). I'm an "advanced" killer, so I kill cheetas, lions or tigers now __________________________________________ Blue Skies and May the Force be with you. Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
