Evaluations

[mjosparky 4]

For everyone who has ever had an evaluation - just remember, it could have
been worse. These are actual quotes taken from Federal Government employee
performance evaluations:

1. "Since my last report, this employee has reached rock-bottom and has
started to dig."

2. "I would not allow this employee to breed."

3. "This employee is really not so much of a has-been, but more of a
definite won't be."

4. "Works well when under constant supervision and cornered like a rat in a
trap."

5. "When she opens her mouth, it seems that it is only to change feet."

6. "This young lady has delusions of adequacy."

7. "He sets low personal standards and then consistently fails to achieve
them."

8. "This employee is depriving a village somewhere of an idiot."

9. "This employee should go far, and the sooner he starts, the better."

10. "Got a full 6-pack, but lacks the plastic thingy to hold it all
together."

11. "A gross ignoramus -- 144 times worse than an ordinary ignoramus."

12. "He doesn't have ulcers, but he's a carrier."

14. "I would like to go hunting with him sometime."

15. "He's been working with glue too much."

16. "He would argue with a signpost."

17. "He brings a lot of joy whenever he leaves the room."

18. "When his IQ reaches 50, he should sell."

19. "If you see two people talking and one looks bored, he's the other one."

20. "A photographic memory but with the lens cover glued on."

21. "A prime candidate for natural de-selection."

22. "Donated his brain to science before he was done using it."

23. "Gates are down, the lights are flashing, but the train isn't coming."

24. "He's got two brains cells, one is lost and the other is out looking for
it."

25. "If he were any more stupid, he'd have to be watered twice a week."

26. "If you give him a penny for his thoughts, you'd get change."

27. "If you stand close enough to him, you can hear the ocean."

28. "It's hard to believe he beat out 1,000,000 other sperm."

29. "One neuron short of a synapse."

30. "Some drink from the fountain of knowledge; he only gargled."

31. "Takes him 2 hours to watch '60-minutes'."

32. "The wheel is turning, but the hamster is dead"

My idea of a fair fight is clubbing baby seals

[Icon134 0]

Quote

17. "He brings a lot of joy whenever he leaves the room."

Hey wait this was on my last OPR... I thought those things were confidential???



Scott

Livin' on the Edge... sleeping with my rigger's wife...

[DrunkMonkey 0]

Quote

Quote

17. "He brings a lot of joy whenever he leaves the room."

Hey wait this was on my last OPR... I thought those things were confidential???



Scott

What base are you at, fellow bluesuiter? [/drunk]

[Icon134 0]

Quote

What base are you at, fellow bluesuiter? [/drunk]

Robins...

Livin' on the Edge... sleeping with my rigger's wife...

[lawrocket 3]

I've thought of a couple

33. Is highly principled, in the Peter sort of way.

34. You would be most fortunate to get this employee to work for you.

My wife is hotter than your wife.