Rdy2skydive 0 #1 July 27, 2004 MEMO: TO ALL EMPLOYEES FROM: CEO DATE: July 27, 2004 RE: New Employee Training Program In order to assure the highest levels of quality work and productivity from employees, it will be our policy to keep all employees well trained through our program of SPECIAL HIGH INTENSITY TRAINING (S.H.I.T.). We are trying to give our employees more S.H.I.T. than anyone else. If you feel that you do not receive your share of S.H.I.T. on the course, please see your supervisor. You will immediately be placed at the top of the S.H.I.T. list and our supervisors are especially skilled at seeing you get all the S.H.I.T. you can handle. Employees who don't take their S.H.I.T. will be placed in DEPARTMENTAL EMPLOYEE EVALUATIONS PROGRAMS (D.E.E.P.S.H.I.T.). Those who fail to take D.E.E.P.S.H.I.T. seriously will have to go to EMPLOYEE ATTITUDE TRAINING (E.A.T.S.H.I.T.). Since our supervisors took S.H.I.T. before they were promoted, they don't have to do S.H.I.T. anymore and are full of S.H.I.T. already. If you are full of S.H.I.T. you may be interested in a job teaching others. We can add your name to our BASIC UNDERSTANDING LIST OF LEADERS (B.U.L.L.S.H.I.T.). For employees who are intending to pursue a career in management and consulting, we will refer you to the department of MANAGERIAL OPERATIONAL RESEARCH EDUCATION (M.O.R.E.S.H.I.T.). If you have further questions, please direct them to our HEAD OF TEACHING, SPECIAL INTENSITY TRAINING (H.O.T.S.H.I.T.). Thank you, BOSS IN GENERAL SPECIAL HIGH INTENSITY TRAINING (B.I.G.S.H.I.T.) and THE DIRECTOR UNDER THE MAIN BUREAU OF SUPER HIGH INTENSITY TRAINING (The D.U.M.B.S.H.I.T) Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Guest #2 July 27, 2004 Don't forget "Retire Aged Personnel Early"... mh ."The mouse does not know life until it is in the mouth of the cat." Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
