Please let me know what you think of my scheme

[Vallerina 2]

I hate work. I like to take long coffee breaks and lunches. I like to play on Dropzone.com. I do not like my job.

My coworker and I are always thinking of ways to not work. We think about walking in front of cars to avoid work, but that would cause actual pain and suffering for quite some time. We thought about saying that we're alcoholics, so that's why we've been showing up to work drunk, but then they would take our alcohol away. We thought about acting crazy and getting institutionalized, but then we realized we wouldn't be able to deal with padded rooms for very long.

I can't see anything wrong with my next scheme. If we tell them that we're bulimic, they'll just throw us in an institution and feed us! How great is that? I wouldn't have to work because I would have to be eating and not throwing it back up!

Do you think it will work?

There's a thin line between Saturday night and Sunday morning

[gordy 0]

Give it a go.....
But the alcohol one sound more fun....
Think how many 's you could put away in a day!!!!

Keep us posted..

[wildblue 7]

.. and they can't fire you, you could sue them!

I'm suddenly reminded of a King of the Hill episode.

Good thinking, it just might work. As long as the institution allows conjugal visits.
Are there institutions for nymphomaniacs?

it's like incest - you're substituting convenience for quality

[RoadRash 0]

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Are there institutions for nymphomaniacs?

Nude beaches?





~R+R

~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~
Fly the friendly skies...^_^...})ii({...^_~...

[Vallerina 2]

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But the alcohol one sound more fun....

Except time away from work would mean that they would take our alcohol away. That's an unfavorable consequence.

Quote

Are there institutions for nymphomaniacs?

Once again, this would not work because they would be taking sex away. I want them to give me something that I already like!

There's a thin line between Saturday night and Sunday morning

[Vallerina 2]

Quote

Quote

Are there institutions for nymphomaniacs?

Nude beaches?

Or...Chicagoland Skydiving Center...especially this weekend!

There's a thin line between Saturday night and Sunday morning

[RoadRash 0]

Quote

Quote

Quote

Are there institutions for nymphomaniacs?

Nude beaches?

Or...Chicagoland Skydiving Center...especially this weekend!

See you Saturday night...that is when the Kinkmaster will arrive......


~R+R...Should I bring my cuffs and collar...or just buy new "accessories" while I am out there?

~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~
Fly the friendly skies...^_^...})ii({...^_~...

[happythoughts 0]

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Are there institutions for nymphomaniacs?

Yes, I run a quiet retreat and help people (women) with nymphomania. It is difficult to qualify that as a disorder, we call it "socially gifted".

Tonight we are having a candlelight vigil for the pyromaniacs.

[sunshine 2]

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Yes, I run a quiet retreat and help people (women) with nymphomania. It is difficult to qualify that as a disorder, we call it "socially gifted".

Tonight we are having a candlelight vigil for the pyromaniacs.

I like to light people on fire after having sex with them....

___________________________________________
meow

I get a Mike hug! I get a Mike hug!

[JohnMitchell 16]

You need a Tandem rating. Then you'll love your job and be really, really rich, too, just like me.

[JohnMitchell 16]

I like to light people on fire after having sex with them....

[happythoughts 0]

Quote

I like to light people on fire after having sex with them....

Use more lube. btw, I thought you were a fan of Astroglide.

[Vallerina 2]

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You need a Tandem rating. Then you'll love your job and be really, really rich, too, just like me.

Yuck! I would not like that job!

There's a thin line between Saturday night and Sunday morning

[sunshine 2]

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Use more lube. btw, I thought you were a fan of Astroglide

I've found lighter fluid to work better.

___________________________________________
meow

I get a Mike hug! I get a Mike hug!

[chaoskitty 0]

One of my co-workers has been out since the end of May, taking short-term disability (60% salary) because she had to have surgery on her eye. Said she had a detached retina. Do retina's just all of a sudden detach themselves? I think she's full of shit. She didnt know how to do her job before she left, and shes just going to be oohhh so helpful when she gets back.
Lucky for me I'll be in another department by then!

Anyway.. yah shes totally scamming the company on this short term disability crap. Its only one eye.. she can put an eye patch over the one thats healing and get her a$$ back to work!

Did that have anything to do with your scam? I dunno..

[eeneR 3]

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Do retina's just all of a sudden detach themselves?

Actually they do If I remember correctly it is a degenerative disease....

But I agree....one eye, get her ass back to work

She is not a "Dumb Blonde" - She is a "Light-Haired Detour Off The Information Superhighway."
eeneR
TF#72, FB#4130, Incauto

[RkyMtnHigh 0]

Hey...I think you're on to something Val...a new Reality Show!

_________________________________________

[Remster 30]

Wouldnt claiming to be anorexic work better? I mean, if you say you are boulimic, they'll want to see evidence....

Remster

[sunshine 2]

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Wouldnt claiming to be anorexic work better? I mean, if you say you are boulimic, they'll want to see evidence....

So all she has to do is puke on command...easy solution is to think of you. Makes me puke everytime.

___________________________________________
meow

I get a Mike hug! I get a Mike hug!

[wildblue 7]

Quote

Quote

Wouldnt claiming to be anorexic work better? I mean, if you say you are boulimic, they'll want to see evidence....

So all she has to do i puke on command...easy solution is to think of you. Makes me puke everytime.

You mean like in a Stan & Wendy kinda way? Just don't puke in his mouth...

it's like incest - you're substituting convenience for quality

[happythoughts 0]

Disclaimer - Before you read this, realize two things.
1. I didn't introduce "puking" to the thread.
2. By lack of good taste is boundless.



The definition of perpetual motion -

Bulimic Siamese twins joined at the mouth.

Saaaaay it with me "Ewwwwwww"

[linny 1]

I have a brilliant scheme for you:


quit and get a new job


...works everytime

[scottbre 0]

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The definition of perpetual motion -

Bulimic Siamese twins joined at the mouth.

This makes no sense. If they are joined at the mouth in a way that would suggest "perpetual motion" vomiting, then they wouldn't be able to eat in order to vomit or be bulemic. The closest they could be would be anorexic. But then that would negate the whole weak premise of the joke since they wouldn't be vomiting, just not eating. But since their not eating would be a result of a physical condition (not a psychological one) they wouldn't fit into the category of anorexic either, just badly in need of separation surgery and probably a very strong distaste for french kissing.

"Your mother's full of stupidjuice!"
My Art Project

[happythoughts 0]

I never let logic interfere with having a good time. If you're going to try and make sense of my posts, you're going to be sadly disappointed.

[scottbre 0]

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If you're going to try and make sense of my posts, you're going to be sadly disappointed.

Touché!

hehe

"Your mother's full of stupidjuice!"
My Art Project