turtlespeed 226 #1 August 23, 2004 So I was talking to someone - and the ordering system came up - Imagine you are being ordered from Ebay. How would your order form read, and what accessories would you come with?I'm not usually into the whole 3-way thing, but you got me a little excited with that. - Skymama BTR #1 / OTB^5 Official #2 / Hellfish #408 / VSCR #108/Tortuga/Orfun Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
turtlespeed 226 #2 August 23, 2004 Oh PuLeeeeeeeeze Don't even tell me you are shy! (Phone order only) Customer: I'd like to order a Turtle please Service - Are you SURE? Customer - Yes, I'd like a turtlespeed Service - Heh - well, OK - it's a free country, I guess. Customer - what does that come with? Service - Lets see, todays special - well you get all the accessories - well, everyday, it's really not all that special, we are adding to the package, however, a lifetime supply of headaches, attitude and a full bottle of whining. . . AND, just for today - we are including 100 hard times, and a lifetime supply of bad jokes. Customer - Sounds great - how much is all this - Service - just pay the postage, we will even cut you a check if you need us to.I'm not usually into the whole 3-way thing, but you got me a little excited with that. - Skymama BTR #1 / OTB^5 Official #2 / Hellfish #408 / VSCR #108/Tortuga/Orfun Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
AggieDave 6 #3 August 23, 2004 1 large redneck, no reserve! For auction, one large redneck, drinks beer, eats pizza and farts alot. All around a "good guy" with a "kind heart" but has some "rough edges." Also talks too much about his "friend" Dr. John Daniels, whom he visits with frequently. This item is sold as is and with no promises of the said item working. When not working it is promised that the said item will sit around on the computer, weld random shit together, work on his truck or motorcycle and go skydive a lot. Sometimes the said item will go to school.--"When I die, may I be surrounded by scattered chrome and burning gasoline." Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
RoadRash 0 #4 August 23, 2004 Oooh...this is funny...... First...I would come with whips chains and a black leather outfit...also included would be a leash and collar for the purchaser...... Lemme see...The order form would have the optional accessories......You know...like piercings...wigs (for various hair colors and lengths) and of course...optional outfit variations...like the Naughty Nurse...the Minute Maid...and/or the Dominatrix...The basic model would come with a black leather outfit great for the starter bondage kit...... Hey, I think I just came up with the perfect advertisement!!!!!!!!!!!!!!...Damn, too bad I'm not up for sale...... After reading that...I would buy me! ~R+R...Buy me!!!!!!!......I should also come with a warning label...BUYER BEWARE!!!!!!!~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~ Fly the friendly skies...^_^...})ii({...^_~... Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
turtlespeed 226 #5 August 23, 2004 QuoteOooh...this is funny...... First...I would come with whips chains and a black leather outfit...also included would be a leash and collar for the purchaser...... Lemme see...The order form would have the optional accessories......You know...like piercings...wigs (for various hair colors and lengths) and of course...optional outfit variations...like the Naughty Nurse...the Minute Maid...and/or the Dominatrix...The basic model would come with a black leather outfit great for the starter bondage kit...... Hey, I think I just came up with the perfect advertisement!!!!!!!!!!!!!!...Damn, too bad I'm not up for sale...... After reading that...I would buy me! ~R+R...Buy me!!!!!!!......I should also come with a warning label...BUYER BEWARE!!!!!!! Rated M for Mature Not for use by Children or "jr." Let her use you at your own risk.I'm not usually into the whole 3-way thing, but you got me a little excited with that. - Skymama BTR #1 / OTB^5 Official #2 / Hellfish #408 / VSCR #108/Tortuga/Orfun Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Brains 2 #6 August 23, 2004 QuoteAfter reading that...I would buy me! Hell, that makes two of us then. Never look down on someone, unless they are going down on you. Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
sunshine 2 #7 August 23, 2004 I got nothin, someone else will have to come up with my description. ___________________________________________ meow I get a Mike hug! I get a Mike hug! Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
RoadRash 0 #8 August 23, 2004 QuoteQuoteAfter reading that...I would buy me! Hell, that makes two of us then. Oh, I forgot to mention that the collar and leash that comes with me will be used on the purchaser...... I should also add in...must be fed delicious foods and champagne to function properly...... QuoteNot for use by Children or "jr." ROFLAO!!!!!!!!!! OMG, "Jr." is gonna kick your ass!!!!!!! You crack me up!!!!!!!!! ~R+R..::THWACK::...~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~ Fly the friendly skies...^_^...})ii({...^_~... Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
turtlespeed 226 #9 August 23, 2004 QuoteQuoteQuoteAfter reading that...I would buy me! Hell, that makes two of us then. Oh, I forgot to mention that the collar and leash that comes with me will be used on the purchaser...... I should also add in...must be fed delicious foods and champagne to function properly...... QuoteNot for use by Children or "jr." ROFLAO!!!!!!!!!! OMG, "Jr." is gonna kick your ass!!!!!!! You crack me up!!!!!!!!! ~R+R..::THWACK::... And in the VERY fine print - "May not be resold - in any state other than Texas - but may be rented out" I'm not usually into the whole 3-way thing, but you got me a little excited with that. - Skymama BTR #1 / OTB^5 Official #2 / Hellfish #408 / VSCR #108/Tortuga/Orfun Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
billvon 3,120 #10 August 23, 2004 >After reading that...I would buy me! You're in the wrong line of work, woman . . . BTW what is a "minute maid?" I'm sure there's some reference there to something besides orange juice. Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
RoadRash 0 #11 August 23, 2004 Quote>After reading that...I would buy me! You're in the wrong line of work, woman . . . BTW what is a "minute maid?" I'm sure there's some reference there to something besides orange juice. ...... I know...I need to become a dominatrix...but I'm a little shy...... The Minute Maid is indeed a reference to something...but I'll never tell......... ~R+R...Turtle...you are gonna get it!!!!!!!!!~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~ Fly the friendly skies...^_^...})ii({...^_~... Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
billvon 3,120 #12 August 23, 2004 >I know...I need to become a dominatrix...but I'm a little shy...... Right. >The Minute Maid is indeed a reference to something...but I'll never tell...... The only thing that comes to mind is a parking meter enforcement person but somehow I figure you've got something else in mind. Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
turtlespeed 226 #13 August 23, 2004 Naw - that's when you have to do yourself - cuz everytime you ask her to come into the bedroom - she say's "In a minute"I'm not usually into the whole 3-way thing, but you got me a little excited with that. - Skymama BTR #1 / OTB^5 Official #2 / Hellfish #408 / VSCR #108/Tortuga/Orfun Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
RoadRash 0 #14 August 23, 2004 QuoteNaw - that's when you have to do yourself - cuz everytime you ask her to come into the bedroom - she say's "In a minute" ROFLAO!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! That's a good one...but not quite what I had in mind...... ~R+R......~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~ Fly the friendly skies...^_^...})ii({...^_~... Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Kennedy 0 #15 August 23, 2004 She's off the market. Bought and pai...... ok, well not paid for, but still off the market. QuoteRated M for Mature Mature? Since when? QuoteNot for use by Children or "jr." You're a sick man. See attached pic. (when are you gonna get it through your skull who Junior is?) QuoteLet her use you at your own risk. As opposed to any other woman? ps - I'm still gonna bitchslap you for calling me that. edit: to save a post Quote"May not be resold - in any state other than Texas Divorces only happen in Texas? Quote- but may be rented out" I thought that was only in Nevada...?witty subliminal message Guard your honor, let your reputation fall where it will, and outlast the bastards. 1* Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Kennedy 0 #16 August 23, 2004 and next on the block: Future LEO, already experienced with handcuffs, 6'1" tall, enjoies several expensive hobbies, excellent perfomances for appreciative audiences, whithers if not kept near coast. Has been referred to as "Funny, attractive...intelligent and knows exactly how to 'get down to it'. Rises to all occasions...Morning, noon, and night...and in between..." Excellent butt, dimpled chin, blessed by his Maker. Delux kit includes horse whip, Mirage Safire Raven Cypress combo, tech support, and kilt as seen below. Must go to loving home. fine print: (extremely proud and honorbound, may require a little house breaking) possible use as Cabana Boy (must supply own cabana) purchasers may be hunted down like dogs by current lease holder.witty subliminal message Guard your honor, let your reputation fall where it will, and outlast the bastards. 1* Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
RoadRash 0 #17 August 23, 2004 Quoteand next on the block: Future LEO, already experienced with handcuffs, 6'1" tall, enjoies several expensive hobbies, excellent perfomances for appreciative audiences, whithers if not kept near coast. Has been referred to as "Funny, attractive...intelligent and knows exactly how to 'get down to it'. Rises to all occasions...Morning, noon, and night...and in between..." Excellent butt, dimpled chin, blessed by his Maker. Delux kit includes horse whip, Mirage Safire Raven Cypress combo, tech support. Must go to loving home. fine print: (extremely proud and honorbound, may require a little house breaking) possible use as Cabana Boy (must supply own cabana) purchasers may be hunted down like dogs by current lease holder. SORRY LADIES!!!!!!!!!!! This one is leased TO ME!!!!!! BTW...dear...why did you just put yourself up for sale?!? Does someone need a spanking? ~R+R...You got to do, what you got to do...::THWACK::...Get on your knees.........~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~ Fly the friendly skies...^_^...})ii({...^_~... Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Tailgate 0 #18 August 23, 2004 Quote First...I would come with whips chains and ...... like the Naughty Nurse...the Minute Maid... I apologize for all of the impure thoughts I am having right now ... no really I do. My ad --- Middle aged male , no need to train, CAN cook, clean and compliment at the right times with the right motivation. Works too much. Not available on weekends with clear blue skies. But then again I have already been procured. _________________________________________________ Let me live in my house by the side of the road and be a friend to man- Sam Walter Foss Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Tailgate 0 #19 August 27, 2004 Man, can I kill a thread or what? _________________________________________________ Let me live in my house by the side of the road and be a friend to man- Sam Walter Foss Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
aprilcat 0 #20 August 27, 2004 I got nothin, someone else will have to come up with my description. ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ One (1) Unit of Sunshine: Bright and Sunny and ready to be seated on Wheelie Aparatus', a plane, a couch, or the ______. Fully functional while awake, naps are mandatory; must be willing to take picture of Sleeping Sunshine as proof she is performing up (or down) to speed. Will not bring your lunch. Do not turn your back on Sunshine IF you watched her PURCHASE the lunch as she gets lost fast even without benefit of Wheelie Aparatus'. Must supply Nachos or other snacks. Batteries not included.~~~April Camelot II, the Electric Boogaloo! Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
RoadRash 0 #21 August 27, 2004 QuoteI got nothin, someone else will have to come up with my description. ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ One (1) Unit of Sunshine: Bright and Sunny and ready to be seated on Wheelie Aparatus', a plane, a couch, or the ______. Fully functional while awake, naps are mandatory; must be willing to take picture of Sleeping Sunshine as proof she is performing up (or down) to speed. Will not bring your lunch. Do not turn your back on Sunshine IF you watched her PURCHASE the lunch as she gets lost fast even without benefit of Wheelie Aparatus'. Must supply Nachos or other snacks. Batteries not included.~~~April Just to let you know...I bought the banana... ~R+R...I really couldn't find you......~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~ Fly the friendly skies...^_^...})ii({...^_~... Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
aprilcat 0 #22 August 27, 2004 Just to let you know...I bought the banana... ~R+R...I really couldn't find you...... ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ Just to let you know...you WERE next. You know I actually LOST that damned banana? Maybe we'll find it next year and I can wave it at you non-lunch-getting-golfcart-bogartin' chicks as I pass you by! That was funny because I hadn't move the cart an INCH...what shiny object did you all go chasing after?~~April Camelot II, the Electric Boogaloo! Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
RoadRash 0 #23 August 27, 2004 QuoteJust to let you know...I bought the banana... ~R+R...I really couldn't find you...... ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ Just to let you know...you WERE next. You know I actually LOST that damned banana? Maybe we'll find it next year and I can wave it at you non-lunch-getting-golfcart-bogartin' chicks as I pass you by! That was funny because I hadn't move the cart an INCH...what shiny object did you all go chasing after?~~April LoL...I think we got distracted when Sunny suggested curly fries for lunch......Our minds just went towards the fries...... ~R+R...Mmmmmmmmmmmm...curly fries...~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~ Fly the friendly skies...^_^...})ii({...^_~... Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
