Monty Python

[adamjenner 0]

and who could forget THIS scene?
possibly the best moment in the movie
http://www.mwscomp.com/movies/brian/brian-13.htm

[mr2mk1g 10]

I've seen an interview with the cast and they admit that they simply got to a point in the movie where they couldn't work out how to best get to the next scene.

So they stuck that bit in. If it looks like it was just shoe horned in there... well... it was.

[yoink 321]

E's not the messiah. E's a very naughty boy!


Or....

Whenever life gets you down Mrs. Brown
And thing seem hard and tough
And people are stupid obnoxious or daft
And you feel that you've had quite enough


Just remember that you're standing on a planet that's evolving
And revolving at 900 miles an hour
That orbiting at 90 miles a second so its recond
A sun that is the source of all our power
The sun and you and me and all the stars that we see
Are moving at 1,000,000 miles a day
In an outer spiral arm at 40,000 miles an hour
Of the galaxy we call the Milky Way
Our galaxy itself contains 100,000,000,000 stars
It's 100,000 light years side to side
It bulges in the middle 16,000 light years thick
But out by us its just 3,000 light years wide.
We're 30,000 light years from galactic central point
We go round every 200,000,000 years
And our galaxy is only one of 1,000,000s of 1,000,000,000s
In this amazing and expanding universe
The universe itself keeps on expanding and expanding
In all of the directions it can whiz
As fast as it can go ,
the speed of light you know
12,000,000 miles a minute and that's the fastest speed there is,
So remember when your feeling very small and insecure
How amazingly unlikely is your birth
And pray that there's intelligent life somewhere up in space
'cos there's bugger all down here on earth.

[kingbunky 3]

long, but my favourite scene...

ARTHUR: Old woman!
DENNIS: Man!
ARTHUR: Man, sorry. What knight lives in that castle over there?
DENNIS: I'm thirty seven.
ARTHUR: What?
DENNIS: I'm thirty seven -- I'm not old!
ARTHUR: Well, I can't just call you `Man'.
DENNIS: Well, you could say `Dennis'.
ARTHUR: Well, I didn't know you were called `Dennis.'
DENNIS: Well, you didn't bother to find out, did you?
ARTHUR: I did say sorry about the `old woman,' but from the
behind you looked--
DENNIS: What I object to is you automatically treat me like an
inferior!
ARTHUR: Well, I AM king...
DENNIS: Oh king, eh, very nice. An' how'd you get that, eh? By
exploitin' the workers -- by 'angin' on to outdated imperialist
dogma which perpetuates the economic an' social differences in our
society! If there's ever going to be any progress--
WOMAN: Dennis, there's some lovely filth down here. Oh -- how
d'you do?
ARTHUR: How do you do, good lady. I am Arthur, King of the
Britons. Who's castle is that?
WOMAN: King of the who?
ARTHUR: The Britons.
WOMAN: Who are the Britons?
ARTHUR: Well, we all are. we're all Britons and I am your king.
WOMAN: I didn't know we had a king. I thought we were an
autonomous collective.
DENNIS: You're fooling yourself. We're living in a dictatorship.
A self-perpetuating autocracy in which the working classes--
WOMAN: Oh there you go, bringing class into it again.
DENNIS: That's what it's all about if only people would--
ARTHUR: Please, please good people. I am in haste. Who lives
in that castle?
WOMAN: No one live there.
ARTHUR: Then who is your lord?
WOMAN: We don't have a lord.
ARTHUR: What?
DENNIS: I told you. We're an anarcho-syndicalist commune. We
take it in turns to act as a sort of executive officer for the
week.
ARTHUR: Yes.
DENNIS: But all the decision of that officer have to be ratified
at a special biweekly meeting.
ARTHUR: Yes, I see.
DENNIS: By a simple majority in the case of purely internal
affairs,--
ARTHUR: Be quiet!
DENNIS: --but by a two-thirds majority in the case of more--
ARTHUR: Be quiet! I order you to be quiet!
WOMAN: Order, eh -- who does he think he is?
ARTHUR: I am your king!
WOMAN: Well, I didn't vote for you.
ARTHUR: You don't vote for kings.
WOMAN: Well, 'ow did you become king then?
ARTHUR: The Lady of the Lake, [angels sing] her arm clad in the
purest shimmering samite, held aloft Excalibur from the bosom of
the water signifying by Divine Providence that I, Arthur, was to
carry Excalibur. [singing stops] That is why I am your king!
DENNIS: Listen -- strange women lying in ponds distributing
swords is no basis for a system of government. Supreme executive
power derives from a mandate from the masses, not from some
farcical aquatic ceremony.
ARTHUR: Be quiet!
DENNIS: Well you can't expect to wield supreme executive power
just 'cause some watery tart threw a sword at you!
ARTHUR: Shut up!
DENNIS: I mean, if I went around sayin' I was an empereror just
because some moistened bint had lobbed a scimitar at me they'd
put me away!
ARTHUR: Shut up! Will you shut up!
DENNIS: Ah, now we see the violence inherent in the system.
ARTHUR: Shut up!
DENNIS: Oh! Come and see the violence inherent in the system!
HELP! HELP! I'm being repressed!
ARTHUR: Bloody peasant!
DENNIS: Oh, what a give away. Did you here that, did you here
that, eh? That's what I'm on about -- did you see him repressing
me, you saw it didn't you?

"Hang on a sec, the young'uns are throwin' beer cans at a golf cart."
MB4252 TDS699
killing threads since 2001

[kallend 2,113]

Well ladies and gentlemen, I don't think any of our contestants this evening have succeeded in encapsulating the intricacies of Proust's masterwork, so I'm going to award the first prize this evening to the girl with the biggest tits.

...

The only sure way to survive a canopy collision is not to have one.

[adamjenner 0]

i've got two legs from my hips to the ground and
when i move they walk around and
when i lift them they climb the stairs and
when i shave them they ain't got hair
*gunshot*

[jimbarry 0]

It's...