Dating

[Fast 0]

Ok, got this in email from one of the law clerks at the firm I keep the internet working for. I'm glad to see they put it to good use working on cases


It was written by more than 1 person and less than 10. What do you think about the authors?

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In response to the U.S.'s current color coding of the level of terrorist threats, a few of us came up with a similar warning system for dating and relationships (yes, law students have free time).. read and enjoy:



Code Green = little or no potential of things working out. Typically, this is where situations fall to rather than begin. This is the equivalent of you letting something fade away, or not returning his/her second call or e-mail. Or the sudden realization that you can't really be with someone who's favorite movie of all time is Roadhouse



Blue = generally good chances of things panning out, but not overwhelmingly promising either. Things are Code Blue after a decent first date with maybe a good kiss. This is the waiting period, where dating others is obviously still permissible and "games" are played (letting him call) and "rules" (not calling for 2-3 days) still apply



Yellow Level = By Code Yellow, you've probably hooked up... maybe a few times. Maybe at a bar, party, or even while "watching a movie." He/she is a decent kisser and things are looking up. Calls become more frequent and you start actually looking forward to seeing him/her again whether a hook up is involved or not. Friends need to be put on alert if you're in a Code Yellow and research must be done on the reputations of the guy/girl of interest before proceeding any further. Like it or not, the first inkling of the "Sex and the City"-like butterflies begin in Yellow.




Code Orange: Holy shit, you are a Cosi date shy of the "so, what are we?" question. In fact, you may have had that question asked (and disguised it by saying, that your "friends" were asking), but you decided to pretend like you're more mature than everyone else and don't fall into the trap of defining things-- which, of course, is bullshit. Friends really are asking what's going on, and you don't really know. It's not really talked about, but you're not seeing/hooking up with other people. You spend the night, he/she spends the night way more often than you admit. You have at least one item of his/her clothing in your apartment. A relationship is imminent. You've exchanged gifts on Valentine's/birthday/Christmas/Arbor Day/whatever. You are one good orgasm short of blurting out "I love you" accidentally. In short, you think about him/her so often that you're about to Code Orange in your pants.



Code Red: It's done. Fini. Over. "I" are now a "we." You get invited to parties together, have created a special ring on your cell phone for him/her, and have an alert on your AOL Instant Messenger letting you know whenever they come online. (If you're really obsessive, you've already created another screen name so that the two you can talk without being "bothered" by anyone else.) The inevitable arguments begin with your friends over how you divide your time [i.e. the childish "bros before hoes" only to me matched by "chicks before dicks" philosophy.. The romantic dates have been replaced by the mundane routines of daily life that happened to do (and enjoy?) together: grocery shopping, working out, and trips to the mall are on this list. Despite the cynicism, you are, for the most part, happy and content. That is, as long as one of you doesn't drift back into the Code Orange mindset.



Code Black:



Nuclear Holocaust. The end of the World. Armageddon. This is the stage where everything has fallen apart for a multitude of reasons, but primarily because of the Y chromosome. Code Black arrives without warning, and often without explanation of who, what, when, why or where. Perhaps the other person reached the "hook up" phase of Code Yellow with a third party, previously a neutral, but now an enemy combatant. Signs of the imminence of Code Black include: not answering the phone, not returning phone calls, mysterious late night outings with no explanation, lack of sexual interest (but this can also be related to the wide range of "love" that a person has for their "questionably gay" best friend), the exchange of verbal weaponry, and, last but not least, the sudden desire to return the sweatshirt or other various useless objects of the other person. Code Black leaves nothing in its wake, Napoleon called it Slash & Burn Warfare. Code Black may also result from immaturity or remnants from a previous Code Black that a person is unable or unwilling to let go. However, Code Black is not final. After time, once the radiation has gone away and the trees begin to return, the threat matrix can repeat itself with a new person. One last warning though: once you reach Code Black with a particular person, it would be utter destruction to enter the threat matrix with that person again.

Thought it was kinda funny whichever way you look at it.

~D
Where troubles melt like lemon drops Away above the chimney tops That's where you'll find me.
Swooping is taking one last poke at the bear before escaping it's cave - davelepka

[Fast 0]

For clarity, I know who wrote it because the clerk I know is one of the people who helped.

~D
Where troubles melt like lemon drops Away above the chimney tops That's where you'll find me.
Swooping is taking one last poke at the bear before escaping it's cave - davelepka

[lawrocket 3]

law students. Dumbasses overthink things all the time.

If you drink enough, you don't care what the Code is.

My wife is hotter than your wife.

[fool 0]

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This is the waiting period, where dating others is obviously still permissible and "games" are played (letting him call) and "rules" (not calling for 2-3 days) still apply

I'd say at least mostly girls

S.E.X. party #1

"Life's journey is not to arrive at the grave safely in a well preserved body, but rather to skid in sideways, totally worn out, shouting "f*#k, what a ride".

[peacefuljeffrey 0]

All girls, and maybe a gay guy or two.

If any straight guys were involved, their input was probably shrugged off with bitchy knowing glances exchanged between the girls.

And yeah, what Lawrocket said -- these lawyer-type people overthink the shit out of everything, and fuck it all up for the rest of us.

Blue skies,
-Jeffrey
-

-Jeffrey
"With tha thoughts of a militant mind... Hard line, hard line after hard line!"

[champu 1]

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...who's favorite movie of all time is Roadhouse...

..."games" are played (letting him call)...

...research must be done on the reputations of the guy/girl...

..."Sex and the City"...

..."so, what are we?" question...

...Friends really are asking what's going on...

...the sudden desire to return the sweatshirt or other various useless objects of the other person...

If any guys had a say in this I'd be surprised.