Venus and Mars

[Gravitymaster 0]

I never quite figured out why the sexual urge of men &women differ so
much. And I never have figured out the whole Venus and Mars thing. I
have never figured out why men think with their head and women with
their heart. I have never figured out why the sexual desire gene gets
thrown into a state of turmoil, when it hears the words "I love you."

FOR EXAMPLE: One evening last week, my GF and I were getting into bed.
Well, the passion starts to heat up, and she eventually says "I don't
feel like it, I just want you to hold me." I said, "WHAT????!!! What was
that?!" So, she says the words that every man on the planet dreads
to hear. "You're just not in touch with my emotional needs as a woman
enough for me to satisfy your physical needs as a man." She responded to
my puzzled look by saying, "Can't you just love me for who I am and not
what I do for you in the bedroom?" Realizing that nothing was going to
happen that night I went to sleep.

The very next day I opted to take the day off of work to spend time with
her. We went out to a nice lunch and then went shopping at a big, big
department store. I walked around with her while she tried on several
different very expensive outfits. She couldn't decide which one to take
so I told her we'll just buy them all. She wanted new shoes to
compliment her new clothes, so I said lets get a pair for each outfit.
We went on to the jewelry department where she picked out a pair of
diamond earrings. Let me tell you...she was so excited. She must have
thought I was one wave short of a shipwreck. I started to think she was
testing me because she asked for a tennis bracelet when
she doesn't even know how to play tennis. I think I threw her for a
loop when I said, "That's fine, honey." She was almost nearing sexual
satisfaction from all of the excitement. Smiling with excited
anticipation she finally said, "I think this is all, dear. Let's go to
the cashier." I could hardly contain myself when I blurted out, "No
honey, I don't feel like it." Her face just went completely blank as her
jaw dropped with a baffled WHAT???!!! I then said, "Really honey! I just
want you to HOLD this stuff for a while. You're just not in touch with
my financial needs as a man enough for me to satisfy your shopping needs
as a woman." And just when she had this look like she was going to kill
me I added, "Why can't you just love me for who I am and not for the
things I buy you?"


Apparently I'm not having sex tonight either.

[Frenchy68 0]

Apparently I'm not having sex tonight either***
Change "tonight" to "with her ever again"!

"For once you have tasted Absinthe you will walk the earth with your eyes turned towards the gutter, for there you have been and there you will long to return."

[BartsDaddy 7]

That is a verry old joke and it has been posted before----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Handguns are only used to fight your way to a good rifle

[Zenister 0]

maybe but its still pretty funny.... and true enough to be incredibly frustrating....

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Those who fail to learn from the past are simply Doomed.