PhillyKev 0 #1 September 23, 2004 A Plea for Help! Hundreds of Professional Hockey players in our very own nation are locked out, living at well below the seven-figure salary level. And as if that weren't bad enough they could be deprived of their life-giving pay for several months, possibly longer, as a result of the lockout situation. But you can help! For only $20,835 a month, about $694.50 a day (that's less than the cost of a large screen projection TV) you can help an NHL player remain economically viable during his time of need. This contribution by no means solves the problem as it barely covers the annual minimum salary, but it's a start, and every little bit will help! Although $700 may not seem like a lot of money to you, to a hockey player it could mean the difference between spending the lockout golfing in Florida or on a Mediterranean cruise. For you, seven hundred dollars is nothing more than a month's rent, half a mortgage payment, or a month of medical insurance, but to a hockey player, $700 will partially replace his daily salary. Your commitment of less than $700 a day will enable a player to buy that home entertainment center, trade in the year-old Lexus for a new Ferrari, or enjoy a weekend in Rio. HOW WILL I KNOW THAT I'M HELPING? Each month, you will receive a complete financial report on the player you sponsor. Detailed information about his stocks, bonds, 401(k), real estate, and other investment holdings will be mailed to your home. Plus upon signing up for this program, you will receive an unsigned photo of the player lounging during the lockout on a beach somewhere in the Caribbean (for a signed photo. Please include an additional $150). Put the photo on your refrigerator to remind you of other peoples'suffering. HOW WILL HE KNOW I'M HELPING? Your NHL player will be told that he has a SPECIAL FRIEND who just wants to help in a time of need. Although the player won't know your name, he will be able to make collect calls to your home via a special operator in case additional funds are needed for unforeseen expenses. YES, I WANT TO HELP! I would like to sponsor a locked out NHL player! My preference is (check below): [ ] Forward [ ] Defenseman [ ] Goaltender [ ] Entire team (Please call our 900 number to ask for the cost of a specific team - $10 per minute) [ ] Jaromir Jagr (Higher cost: $32,000 per day) Please charge the account listed below $694.50 per day for the duration of the lockout. Please send me a picture of the player I have sponsored, along with an Jaromir Jagr 2001 Income Statement and my very own Bob Goodenow (Executive Director of the NHLPA player's Union) pin to wear proudly on my hat (include $80 for hat). Your Name: _______________________ Telephone Number: _______________________ Account Number: _______________________ Exp.Date:_______ [ ] MasterCard [ ] Visa [ ] American Express [ ] Other Signature: _______________________ Alternate card (when the primary card exceeds its credit limit): Account Number: _______________________ Exp.Date:_______ [ ] MasterCard [ ] Visa [ ] American Express [ ] Other Signature: _______________________ | | | | | Inbox Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
CanuckInUSA 0 #2 September 23, 2004 LOL ... you should send that to the NHLPA Try not to worry about the things you have no control over Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
wildcard451 0 #3 September 23, 2004 that is absolutely priceless. Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Slappie 9 #4 September 23, 2004 What the fuck is Hockey? "Find out just what any people will quietly submit to and you have found out the exact measure of injustice and wrong which will be imposed upon them." Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
peregrinerose 0 #5 September 23, 2004 That's great. But maybe I can make a direct contribution. I'll adopt Jagr. Can't play worth crap any more (which is why I traded him off my virtual team last season). But he's cute, and that has to count for something. Do or do not, there is no try -Yoda Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
CanuckInUSA 0 #6 September 23, 2004 QuoteWhat the fuck is Hockey? I don't know ... I've forgotten already and it's only been 8 days since I last saw a game on TV. But as a former Colorado Avalanche season ticket holder, I can tell you from personal experience that the greedy players and greedy owners final outpriced me. I absolutely love the game and had some pretty choice seats (just ask Remster as I took him to a game last year), but the price per entertainment value just didn't make sense any more. So I gave up the seats and just in the nick of time I might add. My regular season seats tickets costs me $11500 US per year (I did have partners who bought games from me) and I know the club would be holding on to this money right now during their lockout and they would be giving me some bullshit about applying the money to next years tickets while they earn interest off of my money. Fuck the players ... fuck the owners ... I'm one unhappy hockey fan. Try not to worry about the things you have no control over Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
CanuckInUSA 0 #7 September 23, 2004 QuoteI'll adopt Jagr. Can't play worth crap any more (which is why I traded him off my virtual team last season). But he's cute, and that has to count for something. Actually Jagr very much still has the skills and talent to be one of the best player in the world. His problem is his attitude. He only shows up to play when he wants to play. Try not to worry about the things you have no control over Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
lawrocket 3 #8 September 23, 2004 How much for Ogie Ogletorpe? My wife is hotter than your wife. Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
peregrinerose 0 #9 September 23, 2004 QuoteActually Jagr very much still has the skills and talent to be one of the best player in the world. His problem is his attitude. He only shows up to play when he wants to play. Good point. But he's still very cute :-) Do or do not, there is no try -Yoda Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
kelel01 1 #10 September 23, 2004 I'm with peregrinerose. I'll adopt one . . . I love hockey players. They're so aggressive. Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
skydiver30960 0 #11 September 23, 2004 You love hockey players huh? ...Ahem... ahem... (hockey player clears throat)... what about me? I'm with Canuk on this one. The players whine about not having enough money, the owners whine about not having enough money, and all I can see is that these guys have more zeroes in their yearly salaries than I can ever hope to see. Hey Canuk, is that a friggin' typo? $11,500 per year? That is sick. Just proves the point further. Elvisio "playing the game for free" Rodriguez Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
CanuckInUSA 0 #12 September 23, 2004 QuoteHey Canuk, is that a friggin' typo? $11,500 per year? That is sick. Just proves the point further. NOT a typo ... $11500 US for 2 seats going to 4 pre-season games and 42 regular season games, 22 rows from the ice just inside one of the blue lines. I got the seats before I was a jumper and I did have two groups of people buying at least 1/2 of my games and I sold probably another 1/4 of the games to miscellanous people. Try not to worry about the things you have no control over Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
smiles 0 #13 September 23, 2004 mmmmmmmmmmmmmmm, I love right wing Jarome Iginla. Canada rules the world thanks to DDT line- Doan/Thorton/Draper. Ryan Smyth is choice at peeling off the defender and darting to the net- Smyth is relentless and it is so good to see when someone loves to play that much. (Wayne Gretsky used to be best ever for making optimum use of the space behind the net.) And what can one say about Brodeur, Niedermayer, Sakic or..............Mario Lemieux????????? To put it all in the right perspective: National crisis The thought of a whole winter without hockey is enough to make a grown man scream. by Mike Martin Thank God the summer Olympics are over. Canadians are really nice well-meaning people but (in case anyone) forgot we are really a winter country. We are good at swatting mosquitoes and burning meat but not many other summer activities. Some of us who grew up with cottages are not too bad at water sports so we manage to sneak a few medals from that arena. But other than new sports that not are not popular yet, like synchronized diving and men's artistic athletics, we usually don't stand a chance against countries that have a summer that lasts more than a month. What Canadians are good at is anything where the water is frozen or very chilled - like drinking rye and coke on the rocks, or beer that must be just above zero degrees Celsius. What we are even better at is curling, which we dominate, and hockey, which we used to rule and eternally hope to again. Ah, hockey - our national sport (even if lacrosse got that designation earlier in our foolish youth). Canadians live and breathe hockey. We rejoice at our successes and we kick the water cooler at our near-misses. Hockey is more than a sport to this nation of winter-dwelling madniks. It is our past, our present, and our future. Many believe that hockey is the only reason that we haven't killed each before this. Canada without hockey is like only having two seasons: winter and black fly. A Canadian winter without hockey would be like not having block heaters in Whitehorse, or just about anywhere else in Canada east of the Rockies. By any definition, Canada without hockey in the winter would be greater than a tragedy: it would be a disaster, a state of emergency. You may think I am overreacting, but if mowing the Governor General's lawn can be declared essential, then so can hockey No hockey on Saturday night will make a ghost town out of Sudbury and Sydney, NS, and Sidney, BC (even worse than they are now). If we don't have hockey on Saturday nights, the CBC might make us watch Canada, a Great Civilization over and over again. CTV will show reruns of Canadian Idol with that young guy with the big chin who sings "When Irish Eyes are Smiling." What exactly will we do on Saturday night? Don't answer that question. Ten million sets of eyes just looked over at their mates and ten million heads shook no. Before it's too late, we must demand drastic action to alleviate this dreadful state of affairs. For the love of Canada, please somebody do something before October 15! Don't leave me all alone with Stompin' Tom to cry my way through a long Canadian winter without hockey. I don't think I can make it to Spring. SMiles Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
PhillyKev 0 #14 September 23, 2004 $120/ticket for center ice between the blue lines? That's about right. Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
PhillyKev 0 #15 September 23, 2004 At least you have curling. We only have the NFL to tide us over for part of the season Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
christoofar 0 #16 September 23, 2004 QuoteWhat the fuck is Hockey? I was wondering the same thing. People tell me they play it all the time in Pennsylvania and there's this team... the Penguins? Never heard of it. I guess I'll find out in a couple weeks since I'm moving up there. And to think the only time I've ever lived with snow as the 3 weeks I spent this year in Yellowstone, and that one time in 1985 when it snowed all over Texas... ____________________________________________________________ I'm RICK JAMES! Fo shizzle. Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
CanuckInUSA 0 #17 September 23, 2004 Why do Canadian couples do it doggie style? So that they can both watch Hockey Night in Canada. Actually I've been going through Saturday night hockey hell now for the last 7+ years (and I only have myself to blame) as the US networks do not carry hockey on TV on Saturday nights. Do you have any idea how much that sucks? But as I said, I only have myself to blame as I'm the one who moved down here. At least the jumping is better down here. Try not to worry about the things you have no control over Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
