Would you screw someone who you knew had an STD?

[sunshine 2]

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Would you rethink that if you were deeply attracted and in love with someone (not casual fling)? Personally, I wouldn't know how to react if it happened--I'd play it by ear.

Yes, i would rethink it. But i'm not currently in that situation. I have a feeling that if i truly loved the person, i would be with them anyway.

___________________________________________
meow

I get a Mike hug! I get a Mike hug!

[peacefuljeffrey 0]

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I think my first reaction is like anyone else's; to immediately recoil and say "No Way"...

Upon further reflection, my honest answer is it depends. Were they honest and up front about it? Am I really into them? Obviously, the protection issue is a given.

It is hard for me to pass judgement on an overall basis, especially these days when they say one out of every four people has some form of herpes. I know a number of men and women of high "morals", who just happened to have bad luck. A dear girlfriend of mine (who is actually quite the catch) contracted herpes from the FIRST guy she ever slept with. She is open about it (though quite frankly would be mortified if she thought I would tell anyone who she is in this discussion), controls it with medication, and is never sexually active during an outbreak. In other words, she acts responsibly. Isn't she as entitled to a fufilling relationship as anyone else?

Your answer is very thoughtful, and develops deeper than what I just said. I too know someone very dear to me who contracted herpes AND genital warts from the very first guy she ever slept with (you don't know her, and I'll never tell who this is). She is up-front about it as well. Both can be "kept under control": the warts can be cut, burned, or frozen off, and the herpes can be medicated. Fortunately, she had a very severe first outbreak and the doctors told her that because of it, she has a pretty good immune response to it that keeps it better in check than other people have.

HOWEVER... you should be aware that with regard to Herpes, it IS possible to contract herpes from an infected person who does NOT have a current sore or outbreak! It happens through the skin from what they call "viral shedding." I guess maybe the risk is LOWER, but it is NOT ZERO.

If I were totally in love with someone and wanted something very long term with her, I would consider having sex with her despite her having an STD. I don't relish the idea, but love can make certain bad things alright. Who knows -- if the two of you share the same disease, maybe it strengthens a love bond between you? Maybe? I dunno.

But in the meantime, it's a tough question, because yeah, good people with a disease they didn't really deserve also deserve love. But with so many people who they say have herpes, you'd think it would be easy to find someone you couldn't give it to, because they already have it.

Me, I'll do what I can to keep from getting it. I even did break up with a girl I was boinking -- and she was FUN and it was about to really take off and get CRAZY -- because she told me she had something to tell me. We were sitting in her car talking, actually we were about to leave work and go to my house for some intended raucous uninhibited sex! -- and the way she was acting so grave, I said, "What, you're acting like you're gonna tell me you have herpes or something!" And she just looked at me all serious, so I said, "You have herpes?!" And she claimed yes, she did.

Now, we had had sex once before, I wore a condom, and I had not gone down on her (though I wanted to really bad) because she claimed she didn't like receiving oral sex. (It was something I had planned to set about changing.) So I was spared getting it that way.

But later on, after I called the game on account of herpes, it became clear that she was kind of a compulsive liar/thief, so I came to actually NOT believe she had herpes...! But even if she didn't, she was so mental that I wasn't willing to dive back into a relationship with her.

But she's still worth killing a kitten for now and then.

-Jeffrey

-Jeffrey
"With tha thoughts of a militant mind... Hard line, hard line after hard line!"

[livendive 8]

Nope. Never had one and don't want one. I can understand the "love" comments made below, but those seem oddball. The only way I could imagine such a thing is if I was already in a serious relationship and the person contracted HIV through a blood transfusion or something. Such a risk would require a serious emotional attachment and I don't think I could develop an attachment like that with someone I wasn't already sleeping with.

Blues,
Dave

"I AM A PROFESSIONAL EXTREME ATHLETE!"
(drink Mountain Dew)

[Amazon 7]

Uh.. I am thinking this is a REALLLLLY bad idea....and I have managed to avoid that kind of stuff for a VERY long time...

My vote.. Not a Chance.

[girlygirl 0]

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Depends on if I have the same one.

Trying to collect the whole set?

Oh, my God, I almost fell out of my chair with laughter...
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lmao, dduuuude... which one do ya have? jk


actually, I feel bad but I think I wouldn't be as open minded as some here, I think that's great but I would be too afraid...

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[peacefuljeffrey 0]

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What about people who sleep around and don't tell their victims that they have an STD??? I've actually heard of this happening. The person broke the news weeks after the first incident. Garbage. Some people are f*cked up.

That comes close to warranting death.

In fact, people have been charged with CRIMES for doing that -- knowingly exposing unwitting people to risk of STD infection. Prison rape is too good for a person who would do that.

Of course, sort of like in skydiving, a person assumes a burden of risk just for willingly having sex with someone. First off, it behooves you to ASK the person if they have any diseases they might give you. (You have to judge the honesty of the response you get; and you have to realize that a person saying they're "clean" without having been checked is not really justified in making that claim -- but some people do. They assume or assert that they would "know" if they had something, and this is simply NOT true.) And some people will lie even if they have some disease, because they don't want to be shut out from ever having sex again, which would be a real psychological fear to deal with if you had an incurable infection, like herpes. So a person who truly doesn't want an STD will not have casual sex, will not rush into sex without knowing a person and their character a good while, and will expect and demand to see doctors' tests that verify lack of infections. A lot of the romance goes out the window when you do this, but it could be worth it in the end, yes?

-Jeffrey

-Jeffrey
"With tha thoughts of a militant mind... Hard line, hard line after hard line!"

[lightningbugirl 0]

Any man I live with can jolly well have the _hitter to themselves, once you have children the boundaries are going to be crossed soon enough, I want to seem as sexy as possible for as long as possible.
Boundaries get crossed enough as it is in skydiving and we don't even notice. I'd sooner pee in front of another jumper if need be (say drunk or in a hurry to jump) than a lover unless the lover was a jumper then what the _ell's the difference cause chances are he's already seen me do some pretty dumb_ss things. I said no, won't risk disease. Skydiving and flying is enough of a risk. Risking an STD is just crazy talk.

[captain1 0]

If penicillin can't kill it, I won't drill it.

[VanillaSkyGirl 6]

I would not.

The following question was asked on the radio. If you could have sex with Pamela Anderson, who has Hepititis C, would you do it? The question was asked under the condition that you could not wear a condom.

[RoysPlayThing 0]

No way! ... I have enough problems in my life.

_______________________________________________
My mind is like a parachute...it functions only when open.

[peacefuljeffrey 0]

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I would not.

The following question was asked on the radio. If you could have sex with Pamela Anderson, who has Hepititis C, would you do it? The question was asked under the condition that you could not wear a condom.

I'll bet a lot of morons said "Yes."

-Jeffrey

-Jeffrey
"With tha thoughts of a militant mind... Hard line, hard line after hard line!"

[VanillaSkyGirl 6]

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The following question was asked on the radio. If you could have sex with Pamela Anderson, who has Hepititis C, would you do it? The question was asked under the condition that you could not wear a condom.

I'll bet a lot of morons said "Yes."

[peacefuljeffrey 0]

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The following question was asked on the radio. If you could have sex with Pamela Anderson, who has Hepititis C, would you do it? The question was asked under the condition that you could not wear a condom.

I'll bet a lot of morons said "Yes."

Sadly, many did. It was ridiculous.

[VanillaSkyGirl 6]

Actually, I may be wrong, they may have said that having sex with Pam
A. with a condom was ok for this question, but it still seems so risky to be with her, in particular.

OK, now I have to log off & get dinner...bye!

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[bobsled92 0]

No and it doesn't matter how good looking or "Nice" they may be. Why would anyone want to chance ANY S.T.D.?

_______________________________
If I could be a Super Hero,
I chose to be: "GRANT-A-CLAUS". and work 365 days a Year.
http://www.hangout.no/speednews/

[jkwon 0]

PUBLIC APOLOGY. I hope I didn't offend anyone by this poll...It is a very interesting topic for me because of the reason someone posted. There are some people out there who have sex with many partners and don't let them know they have an STD. I've been in such a case. I was somewhat lucky because it was her best friend who told me before I became sexually active with this person.

Again I didn't mean to offend anyone. Sorry.

--joe
HISPA #69
The Best Band in the WORLD!!!
The new full length album "See What You Can Find"

[wmw999 2,632]

I thought it was a great poll, and has brought out some good discussion, and caused people to think. Those are all good things.

Wendy W.

There is nothing more dangerous than breaking a basic safety rule and getting away with it. It removes fear of the consequences and builds false confidence. (tbrown)

[ladyskydiver 0]

No apology necessary. As Wendy said, it's a great poll and some interesting discussion has resulted.

Life is short! Break the rules! Forgive quickly! Kiss slowly! Love truly, Laugh uncontrollably. And never regret anything that made you smile.

[jkwon 0]

I guess I do change my view as far as Love is concerned. You do very rarely find TRUE Love and I feel like I've found it and if she was infected with some sort of STD I'd still love her and feel the same way about her. Luckily I don't have to worry about it for two reasons...She's still a member of the V club and I'm not dating her right now anyways. And since I'm not dating her I'm also not having sex...DAMN MORALS!!!

--joe
HISPA #69
The Best Band in the WORLD!!!
The new full length album "See What You Can Find"

[freethefly 6]

This is an interesting thread and one that is of interest to me. Anyone who is familiar of me, personally or by a past post, know that I am HIV+. I myself would not sleep with a woman who is not HIV+.
Before I knew of my status I was under the impression that I would not get it as I am not gay nor would I ever share a needle if I were to bang dope. I did sleep with alot of women.
When I found out of my status, the worst thing I ever had to do was to make alot of phone calls to women whom I really cared about (I really loved them all). To tell someone that they may possiably have AIDS becuase of yourself is so surreal that I doubt anyone here can imagine how I felt. It is an emotional overload like know other. There is guilt, depression, a fear and loathing of ones self. That is a hard trip to handle. Then there is the loneliness that follows. I am in a grey area when it comes HIV. There are no support groups that deals with my issues concerning relationship. If you are a white heterosexual male, you are on your own. In the last nine years, I have only met 3 women with HIV. Not alot happening in the midwest. Then there is the concern in how people will accept you when you tell them of your status. Considering what I do, skydive, there is always the possiability of an accident that can pass blood. A major concern of mine therefore those who jump with me know and accept this. Safety is always my number one concern. And it should be everyone elses just the same. You wouldn't jump from a plane without a rig on. Think of a condom as your rig in bed. Put it on before you jump. Let us not forget the cost financially that AIDS will cost you. I cleaned close to $20,000.00 out of a bank account, then sold my stock and closed a mutal fund. After all that I filed for bankruptcy. My job went to Mexico in 2001. I lost my insurance. The VA put me on a low priority, once a year visit, no meds. At one time I was eating 30 some pills a day. That is another issue you will deal with if you go in with nothing on. AIDS meds are no picnic. There is nothing fun about them. The side effects are at times dibilatating. It is akin to eating cement if you catch the meaning. At other times it seems to never stop. Nerve damage to the hands and feet from the toxic build up. I am now on disability. Some may ask " why are you on SSDI and you can skydive?". Most of my mornings are spent in the bathroom due to HIV. I have an extremely hard time in the heat as I ofton run fevers. My lymphnoids ofton swell which will put me out for the day. Skydiving brings me back and takes my everyday reality out of the picture for awhile. It is my anti-depressant. When I was on anti-depressants, I had several suicide attempts. Also there is what it does for you body. How about severe weight lose. I went from over 230 pounds down to under 150 pounds when I first got sick. Though it does work very good for Freeflying. Because I have no insurance I am not able to recieve medication as the state is relunctant to pay. So much for the high taxes I paid over the years. I have a low Tcell count and a high viral load. With out proper medical care I fully expect to die due to AIDS. The truth is that in America unless you are wealthy or have good insurance you will not recieve the proper care.
I can go on and on about this but I will not. What I will say is what I say to everyone before they leave the plane "be carefull".
OH, and if by some chance there is a lady skydiver who is also HIV+ whom by chance is reading this, PLEASE email me I would love to talk to you.

"...And once you're gone, you can't come back
When you're out of the blue and into the black."
Neil Young

[jkwon 0]

I'm so impressed by your strength man. Wow! And you're right about the American health care system..It almost seems they only help the people who don't need the help. I have a friend who is denied health insurance because of muscular distrophy (sp.?) so he pays for the surgeries all out of his pocket. It's sickening to think about the way things are run sometimes.

--joe
HISPA #69
The Best Band in the WORLD!!!
The new full length album "See What You Can Find"

[jumperconway 0]

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Actually, I may be wrong, they may have said that having sex with Pam
A. with a condom was ok for this question, but it still seems so risky to be with her, in particular.

I actually have no desire to even be in the same room with her much less have sex with her and this has nothing to do with the hepatitus. Dosen't stir the rocks in my quarry.

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[RkyMtnHigh 0]

That took a lot of courage for you to share your story.

Thanks.


FYI...afraidtoask.com is an informative website to check out.

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[bobsled92 0]

not SOOOOO offensive as it is gross to think a person would >>KNOWINGLY<< be active w/ an STD carrier.

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PUBLIC APOLOGY. I hope I didn't offend anyone by this poll...It is a very interesting topic for me because of the reason someone posted. There are some people out there who have sex with many partners and don't let them know they have an STD. I've been in such a case. I was somewhat lucky because it was her best friend who told me before I became sexually active with this person.

Again I didn't mean to offend anyone. Sorry.

_______________________________
If I could be a Super Hero,
I chose to be: "GRANT-A-CLAUS". and work 365 days a Year.
http://www.hangout.no/speednews/

[christoofar 0]

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Actually, I may be wrong, they may have said that having sex with Pam
A. with a condom was ok for this question, but it still seems so risky to be with her, in particular.

OK, now I have to log off & get dinner...bye!

Well... don't share any food or drink with Pam A., either. Sex is only one of a bunch of ways to contract the different forms of hepatitis (HBV). It's not as easy to protect yourself from it as HIV.

My company deals with a lot of elderly patients, and hepatitis runs RAMPANT in the elderly community, all three strains of hepatitis can be detected in many nursing homes, hospitals and skilled nursing facilities. Most people who work with the elderly have to get vaccinated but the risk of exposure is still very high.

Hepatitis C carriers can communicate the disease other ways BESIDES sexual or blood contact. Yes you can contract it through other fluids, sores, etc.

Is Hepatitis C a death sentence? It might not be. It depends how you respond to the virus. Some people can carry it and not show any symptoms at all, others show symptoms quickly after exposure. It doesn't mean you need to jump in line for a liver transplant. The cirrhosis (sp) in your liver will not show up for YEARS (maybe decades) after you become infected. Most Hepatitis C patients don't know they are infected until years after the initial exposure, which makes it hard for them to determine where they contracted the disease.

Hepatitis A is very widespread (almost like chicken pox) and most individuals who contract it don't need to take much therapy, if at all. It is normally passed along through fecal to mouth method (i.e. through food, which is why it is ultra important food servers wash their hands). People who get Hep A (and its a lot... it's very widespread) will develop antiboties within 10 days of exposure. Then for the rest of your life, you will be immune from the disease and you will test positive for the presence of Hep-A antibodies in your bloodstream.

Hep-B (most widespread after Hep A) causes limited infection in most people. Others may develop chronic hepatitis, which requires a liver transplant (5-10% of infected people with Hep-B). Once you know you are infected, you'll be going on a battery of drugs and also take the Hep-B vaccine (if you detect it early enough) to try to slow down and stop the infection. If that fails, then liver transplant is in your future, but chronic Hep-B patients have been known to suddenly take a turn for the better and fight off the disease.

Many unfortunate people who have HBV are treated as if they got VD, which may not have been the case. It is a very big problem and not that many folks are aware of how virulent hepatitis is. Most people who work in healthcare (nurses, doctors, emergency techs) are scared stiff of it. It's much more of a problem than getting infected with HIV.

____________________________________________________________
I'm RICK JAMES! Fo shizzle.