jumperconway 0 #1 October 25, 2004 A man is stumbling through the woods, totally drunk, when he comes upon a preacher baptizing people in the river. He proceeds to walk into the water and subsequently bumps into the preacher. The preacher turns around and is almost overcome by the smell of booze. Where upon he asks the drunk, "Are you ready to find Jesus? "The drunk answers, "Yes, I am." So the preacher grabs him and dunks him in the water. He pulls him up and asks the drunk, "Brother have you found Jesus?" The drunk replies, "No, I haven't found Jesus." The preacher, shocked at the answer, dunks him into the water again but for a little longer this time. He again pulls him out of the water and asks again, "Have you found Jesus, my brother?" The drunk again answers, "No, I haven't found Jesus." By this time, the preacher is at his wits end so he dunks the drunk in the water again --- but this time he holds him down for about 30 seconds. When the drunk begins kicking his arms and legs, the preacher pulls him up. The preacher asked the drunk again, "For the love of God, have you found Jesus? The drunk wipes his eyes and catches his breath and says to the preacher, "Are you sure this is where he fell in?" Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Rebecca 0 #2 October 25, 2004 He's behind the couch... you've got to ask yourself one question: 'Do I feel loquacious?' -- well do you, punk? Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
tunaplanet 0 #3 October 25, 2004 Why did Jesus cross the road? Because he was nailed to the chicken. Forty-two Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
jumperconway 0 #4 October 25, 2004 QuoteWhy did Jesus cross the road? Now that just ain't rite. Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites Rebecca 0 #5 October 25, 2004 QuoteQuoteWhy did Jesus cross the road? Now that just ain't rite. No, no it's not. And I'm going to hell for laughing a little. you've got to ask yourself one question: 'Do I feel loquacious?' -- well do you, punk? Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites lummy 4 #6 October 25, 2004 If you can't find him, apparently you can SMS himI promise not to TP Davis under canopy.. I promise not to TP Davis under canopy.. eat sushi, get smoochieTTK#1 Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites SpeedRacer 1 #7 October 25, 2004 A drunk stumbles into a Catholic church. He staggers over to the confessional &opens the door & goes in & sits down. The priest is waiting on the other side of the screen, but the drunk doesn't say anything. After a while the priest coughs, and clear his throat to get his attention, but there is nothing but silence from the other side of the screen. Finally the priest knocks on the wall. The drunk replies, "Ain't no use knockin'! There's no paper on this side either!" Speed Racer -------------------------------------------------- Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites headoverheels 334 #8 October 25, 2004 Why didn't Jesus get into college? He got crossed up on the boards. Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites tunaplanet 0 #9 October 25, 2004 Top Ten Reasons That Beer Is Better Than Jesus:- a) No one will kill you for not drinking beer. b) Beer doesn't tell you how to have sex. c) They don't force beer on minors who cannot think for themselves. d) Beer has never caused a major war. e) When you have a beer you don't knock on people's doors trying to give it away. f) Nobody has ever been burned at the stake, hanged or tortured over a beer. g) You don't have to wait 2000 years for a second beer. h) There are laws saying beer labels cannot lie to you. I) You can prove you have a beer. j) If you are devoted to beer then there are groups who can help you stop. Forty-two Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites tunaplanet 0 #10 October 25, 2004 Why wasn't Christ born in Canada? Because they couldn't find three wise men and a virgin. Forty-two Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites Join the conversation You can post now and register later. If you have an account, sign in now to post with your account. Note: Your post will require moderator approval before it will be visible. Reply to this topic... × Pasted as rich text. Paste as plain text instead Only 75 emoji are allowed. × Your link has been automatically embedded. Display as a link instead × Your previous content has been restored. Clear editor × You cannot paste images directly. Upload or insert images from URL. Insert image from URL × Desktop Tablet Phone Submit Reply 0 Go To Topic Listing
Rebecca 0 #5 October 25, 2004 QuoteQuoteWhy did Jesus cross the road? Now that just ain't rite. No, no it's not. And I'm going to hell for laughing a little. you've got to ask yourself one question: 'Do I feel loquacious?' -- well do you, punk? Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites lummy 4 #6 October 25, 2004 If you can't find him, apparently you can SMS himI promise not to TP Davis under canopy.. I promise not to TP Davis under canopy.. eat sushi, get smoochieTTK#1 Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites SpeedRacer 1 #7 October 25, 2004 A drunk stumbles into a Catholic church. He staggers over to the confessional &opens the door & goes in & sits down. The priest is waiting on the other side of the screen, but the drunk doesn't say anything. After a while the priest coughs, and clear his throat to get his attention, but there is nothing but silence from the other side of the screen. Finally the priest knocks on the wall. The drunk replies, "Ain't no use knockin'! There's no paper on this side either!" Speed Racer -------------------------------------------------- Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites headoverheels 334 #8 October 25, 2004 Why didn't Jesus get into college? He got crossed up on the boards. Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites tunaplanet 0 #9 October 25, 2004 Top Ten Reasons That Beer Is Better Than Jesus:- a) No one will kill you for not drinking beer. b) Beer doesn't tell you how to have sex. c) They don't force beer on minors who cannot think for themselves. d) Beer has never caused a major war. e) When you have a beer you don't knock on people's doors trying to give it away. f) Nobody has ever been burned at the stake, hanged or tortured over a beer. g) You don't have to wait 2000 years for a second beer. h) There are laws saying beer labels cannot lie to you. I) You can prove you have a beer. j) If you are devoted to beer then there are groups who can help you stop. Forty-two Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites tunaplanet 0 #10 October 25, 2004 Why wasn't Christ born in Canada? Because they couldn't find three wise men and a virgin. Forty-two Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites Join the conversation You can post now and register later. If you have an account, sign in now to post with your account. Note: Your post will require moderator approval before it will be visible. Reply to this topic... × Pasted as rich text. Paste as plain text instead Only 75 emoji are allowed. × Your link has been automatically embedded. Display as a link instead × Your previous content has been restored. Clear editor × You cannot paste images directly. Upload or insert images from URL. Insert image from URL × Desktop Tablet Phone Submit Reply 0
lummy 4 #6 October 25, 2004 If you can't find him, apparently you can SMS himI promise not to TP Davis under canopy.. I promise not to TP Davis under canopy.. eat sushi, get smoochieTTK#1 Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
SpeedRacer 1 #7 October 25, 2004 A drunk stumbles into a Catholic church. He staggers over to the confessional &opens the door & goes in & sits down. The priest is waiting on the other side of the screen, but the drunk doesn't say anything. After a while the priest coughs, and clear his throat to get his attention, but there is nothing but silence from the other side of the screen. Finally the priest knocks on the wall. The drunk replies, "Ain't no use knockin'! There's no paper on this side either!" Speed Racer -------------------------------------------------- Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
headoverheels 334 #8 October 25, 2004 Why didn't Jesus get into college? He got crossed up on the boards. Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
tunaplanet 0 #9 October 25, 2004 Top Ten Reasons That Beer Is Better Than Jesus:- a) No one will kill you for not drinking beer. b) Beer doesn't tell you how to have sex. c) They don't force beer on minors who cannot think for themselves. d) Beer has never caused a major war. e) When you have a beer you don't knock on people's doors trying to give it away. f) Nobody has ever been burned at the stake, hanged or tortured over a beer. g) You don't have to wait 2000 years for a second beer. h) There are laws saying beer labels cannot lie to you. I) You can prove you have a beer. j) If you are devoted to beer then there are groups who can help you stop. Forty-two Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
tunaplanet 0 #10 October 25, 2004 Why wasn't Christ born in Canada? Because they couldn't find three wise men and a virgin. Forty-two Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
