Underwear Goes Inside The Pants

[ChasingBlueSky 0]

Have recently heard this one on the radio a few times - it is spoken word and to a nice beat. Pretty funny read, check it out:


Lazyboy - Underwear Goes Inside The Pants

Why is marijuana not legal? Why is marijuana not legal?
It’s a natural plant that grows in the dirt.
Do you know what’s not natural?
80 year old dudes with hard-ons. That’s not natural.
But we got pills for that.
We’re dedicating all our medical
resources to keeping the old guys erect,
but we’re putting people in jail for
something that grows in the dirt?
You know we have more prescription drugs now.
Every commercial that comes on TV is a prescription drug ad.
I can’t watch TV for four minutes
without thinking I have five serious diseases.
Like: “Do you ever wake up tired in the morning?”
Oh my god I have this, write this down. Whatever it is, I have it.
Half the time I don’t even know what the commercial is…
people running in fields or flying kites
or swimming in the ocean.
I’m like that is the greatest disease ever. How do you get that?
That disease comes with a hot chick and a puppy.

The schools now… It is all about
self-esteem in the schools now.
Build the kids’ self-esteem,
make them feel good about themselves.
If everybody grows up with high self-esteem, who is going to dance in our strip clubs?
What’s going to happen to our porno industry?
These women don’t just grown on trees.
It takes lots of drunk dads missing dance recitals before you decide to blow a goat on the internet for fifty bucks.
And if that disappears, where does that leave me on a Friday night with my new high speed connection?

Masterminds are another word that comes up all the time.
You keep hearing about these terrorists masterminds that get killed in the middle east.
Terrorists masterminds.
Mastermind is sort of a lofty
way to describe what these guys do, don’t you think?
They’re not masterminds.
“OK, you take bomb, right?
And you put in your backpack. And you get on bus and you blow yourself up. Alright?”
“Why do I have to blow myself up? Why can’t I just…”
“Who’s the fucking mastermind here? Me or you?”

Americans, let’s face it:
We’ve been a spoiled country for a long time.
Do you know what the number one health risk in America is?
Obesity. They say we’re in the middle of an obesity epidemic.
An epidemic like it is polio.
Like we’ll be telling our grand kids about it one day.
The Great Obesity Epidemic of 2004.
“How’d you get through it grandpa?”
“Oh, it was horrible Johnny,
there was cheesecake and pork chops everywhere.”

Nobody knows why were getting fatter? Look at our lifestyle.
I’ll sit at a drive thru.
I’ll sit there behind fifteen other cars instead of getting up to make the eight foot walk to the totally empty counter.
Everything is mega meal, super sized.
Want biggie fries, super sized, want to go large.
You want to have thirty burgers for a nickel
you fat mother fucker. There’s room in the back. Take it!
Want a 55 gallon drum of Coke with that?
It’s only three more cents.

Sometimes you have to suffer a little bit in your youth to motivate yourself to succeed in later life.
Do you think if Bill Gates got laid in high school,
do you think there’d be a Microsoft?
Of course not.
You got to spend a long time in your own locker with your underwear shoved up your ass before you start to think,
“You’ll see. I’m going to take of the world of computers! I’ll show them.”

We’re in one of the richest countries in the world,
but the minimum wage is lower than it was thirty five years ago.
There are homeless people everywhere.
This homeless guy asked me for money the other day.
I was about to give it to him and then
I thought he was going to use it on drugs or alcohol.
And then I thought, that’s what I’m going to use it on.
Why am I judging this poor bastard.
People love to judge homeless guys. Like if you give them money they’re just going to waste it.
Well, he lives in a box, what do you want him to do?
Save it up and buy a wall unit?
Take a little run to the store for a throw rug and a CD rack?
He’s homeless.
I walked behind this guy the other day.
A homeless guy asked him for money.
He looks right at the homeless guy
and says why don’t you go get a job you bum.
People always say that to homeless guys like it is so easy.
This homeless guy was wearing
his underwear outside his pants.
Outside his pants.
I’m guessing his resume isn’t all up to date.
I’m predicting some problems during the interview process.
I’m pretty sure even McDonalds has a
“underwear goes inside the pants” policy.
Not that they enforce it really strictly,
but technically I’m sure it is on the books.

_________________________________________
you can burn the land and boil the sea, but you can't take the sky from me....
I WILL fly again.....

[Bolas 5]

Quote

It takes lots of drunk dads missing dance recitals before you decide to blow a goat on the internet for fifty bucks.

FBW: Funny But Wrong

Stupidity if left untreated is self-correcting
If ya can't be good, look good, if that fails, make 'em laugh.

[Vallerina 2]

Haha! That was pretty funny!

There's a thin line between Saturday night and Sunday morning

[skybytch 273]

First heard that last month in northern California; heard it yesterday on the alternative channel on Direct TV. Still LMFAO everytime I hear it.

Quote

I’m like that is the greatest disease ever. How do you get that?
That disease comes with a hot chick and a puppy.

[ChasingBlueSky 0]

Quote

First heard that last month in northern California; heard it yesterday on the alternative channel on Direct TV. Still LMFAO everytime I hear it.

Quote

I’m like that is the greatest disease ever. How do you get that?
That disease comes with a hot chick and a puppy.

You can get Direct TV in a tent?

_________________________________________
you can burn the land and boil the sea, but you can't take the sky from me....
I WILL fly again.....

[flyangel2 2]

Not if you are one of the Foxy gals

May your trails be crooked, winding, lonesome, dangerous, leading to the most amazing view. May your mountains rise into and above the clouds. - Edward Abbey

[Fast 0]

haha yeah funny song

I hear it a bit on Siruis radio. Don't think the on air stations by me would play it.

~D
Where troubles melt like lemon drops Away above the chimney tops That's where you'll find me.
Swooping is taking one last poke at the bear before escaping it's cave - davelepka

[n2skdvn 0]

here's a link to the video

if my calculations are correct SLINKY + ESCULATOR = EVERLASTING FUN
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