airtwardo 7 #1 October 27, 2004 In summary, the police arrested Patrick Lawrence, 22 year old white male resident of Dacula, GA, in a pumpkin patch 11:38p.m. on Friday. Lawrence will be charged with lewd and lascivious behaviour, public indecency, and public intoxication at the Gwinnett County courthouse on Monday. The suspect explained that as he was passing a pumpkin patch he decided to stop. "You know, a pumpkin is soft and squishy inside, and there was no one around for miles. At least I thought there wasn't," he stated in a phone interview. Lawrence went on to say that he pulled over to the side of the road, picked out a pumpkin that he felt was appropriate to his purpose, cut a hole in it, and proceeded to satisfy his alleged "need." "Guess I was really into it, you know?" he commented with evident embarrassment. In the process, Lawrence apparently failed to notice a Gwinnett County police car approaching and was unaware of his audience until officer Brenda Taylor approached him. "That was an unusual situation, that's for sure," said officer Taylor. "I walked up to Lawrence and he's...just pumping away at this pumpkin." Taylor went on to describe what happened when she approached Lawrence. "I just went up and said, "Excuse me sir, but do you realize that you're having sex with a pumpkin?". " He froze and was clearly very surprised that I was there, and then looked me straight in the face and said . . . "A pumpkin?! "Shit", is it midnight already?!!" ~ If you choke a Smurf, what color does it turn? ~ Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
diablopilot 2 #2 October 27, 2004 (breath)---------------------------------------------- You're not as good as you think you are. Seriously. Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
flyangel2 2 #3 October 27, 2004 What the hell are you doing posting. I read some where you were deadMay your trails be crooked, winding, lonesome, dangerous, leading to the most amazing view. May your mountains rise into and above the clouds. - Edward Abbey Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
airtwardo 7 #4 October 27, 2004 QuoteWhat the hell are you doing posting. I read some where you were dead Quote Reports of my demise, have been greatly exaggerated .....AGAIN! ~ If you choke a Smurf, what color does it turn? ~ Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Darius11 12 #5 October 27, 2004 I'd rather be hated for who I am, than loved for who I am not." - Kurt Cobain Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
YahooLV 0 #6 October 27, 2004 Can't beat that comeback! That one goes to the hall o' fame!http://www.curtisglennphotography.com Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
adamjenner 0 #7 October 27, 2004 bwhaha that's awesome. Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
mjosparky 4 #8 October 27, 2004 QuoteWhat the hell are you doing posting. I read some where you were dead He is dead, the ash dive is Wed.My idea of a fair fight is clubbing baby seals Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
airtwardo 7 #9 October 27, 2004 QuoteQuoteWhat the hell are you doing posting. I read some where you were dead He is dead, the ash dive is Wed. Quote Oh GREAT... I guess I'm going base AGAIN!! ~ If you choke a Smurf, what color does it turn? ~ Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
OnYourBack 0 #10 October 27, 2004 I wonder how many guys will be screwing pumpkins tonight after seeing this. Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
gravityizsexy 0 #12 October 27, 2004 HAhaHAHaaa... I love it! welcome back! "'Someday is not a day in my week'" Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Zoter 0 #13 October 27, 2004 Class pure class........he shoulda made good his escape whilst the arresting officer was rolling around on the floor laughing !! Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Girlfalldown 0 #14 October 27, 2004 They found boxes of lard with little holes punched in it at the restaurant where a friend of mine worked. -------------- (Do not, I repeat DO NOT, take my posts seriously.) Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
vdschoor 0 #15 October 27, 2004 QuoteThey found boxes of lard with little holes punched in it at the restaurant where a friend of mine worked. --------------- (Do not, I repeat DO NOT take my posts seriously) AAAAA where is that restaurant? I hope it's not in the Bay Area? Or maybe I should start taking your sigline seriously huh? Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
airtwardo 7 #16 October 27, 2004 Puts a whole new meaning to... There's a FLY in my soup! ~ If you choke a Smurf, what color does it turn? ~ Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
happythoughts 0 #17 October 27, 2004 QuoteThey found boxes of lard with little holes punched in it at the restaurant where a friend of mine worked. "little holes"? Getting caught would be a two-fold embarrassment. "So Mr. Pencil-Dick, you are the guy causing the 'little holes' ?" Remember, Astrolube is $7.00, a tub of Crisco is only $1.99 and goes a lot farther. Think of it as a volume discount. Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Girlfalldown 0 #18 October 27, 2004 QuoteQuoteThey found boxes of lard with little holes punched in it at the restaurant where a friend of mine worked. --------------- (Do not, I repeat DO NOT take my posts seriously) AAAAA where is that restaurant? I hope it's not in the Bay Area? Or maybe I should start taking your sigline seriously huh? You can take this post seriously and no worries. It was in Southern California at a Shakeys Pizza like 17 years ago. -------------- (Do not, I repeat DO NOT, take my posts seriously.) Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
AggieDave 6 #19 October 27, 2004 How in the hell did your mom let you work at a pizza joint when you were 8 years old? --"When I die, may I be surrounded by scattered chrome and burning gasoline." Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Girlfalldown 0 #20 October 27, 2004 QuoteHow in the hell did your mom let you work at a pizza joint when you were 8 years old? Thanks AD! I was actually 16. -------------- (Do not, I repeat DO NOT, take my posts seriously.) Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
bob.dino 1 #21 October 27, 2004 What's the old Arab saying? "A woman for children, a boy for pleasure, and a melon for ecstasy" Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
mjosparky 4 #22 October 28, 2004 QuoteOh GREAT... I guess I'm going base AGAIN!! No, not base, I think we will let you go "floater" SparkyMy idea of a fair fight is clubbing baby seals Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
