Evelyn 0 #1 December 15, 2004 Dear God, Why do humans smell the flowers, but seldom, if ever, smell one another? Dear God, When we get to heaven, can we sit on your couch? Or is it the same old story? Dear God, Why are there cars named after the jaguar, the cougar, the mustang, the colt, the stingray, and the rabbit, but not ONE named for a dog? How often do you see a cougar riding around? We dogs love a nice ride! Would it be so hard to rename the 'Chrysler Eagle' the 'Chrysler Beagle'? Dear God, If a dog barks his head off in the forest and no human hears him, is he still a bad dog? Dear God, We dogs can understand human verbal instructions, hand signals, whistles, horns, clickers, beepers, scent IDs, electromagnetic energy fields, and Frisbee flight paths. What do humans understand? Dear God, More meatballs, less spaghetti, please. Dear God, When we get to the Pearly Gates, do we have to shake hands to get in? Dear God, Are there mailmen in Heaven? If there are, will I have to apologize? Dear God, Let me give you a list of just some of the things I must remember to be a good dog: - I will not eat the cats' food before they eat it or after they throw it up. - I will not roll on dead seagulls, fish, crabs, etc., just because I like the way they smell. - I will not munch on "leftovers" in the kitty litter box; although they are tasty, they are not food. - The diaper pail is not a cookie jar. - The sofa is not a face towel; neither are Mom and Dad's laps. - The garbage collector is not stealing our stuff. - My head does not belong in the refrigerator. - I will not bite the officer's hand when he reaches in for Mom's driver's license and registration. - I will not play tug-of-war with Dad's underwear when he's on the toilet. - Sticking my nose into someone's crotch is not an acceptable way of saying 'hello.' - I do not need to suddenly stand straight up when I'm lying under the coffee table. - I must shake the rainwater out of my fur before entering the house. - I will not throw up in the car. - I will not come in from outside and immediately drag my butt across the carpet. - The cat is not a squeaky toy; so when I play with him and he makes that noise, it's usually not a good thing. Dear God, May I have my testicles back? Life is either a daring adventure or nothing ~ Helen Keller Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Dumpster 0 #2 December 15, 2004 QuoteDear God, May I have my testicles back? ROFLMAO!!!!! I know a few guys who might have the same prayer! Easy Does It Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Rebecca 0 #3 December 15, 2004 Quote- I will not munch on "leftovers" in the kitty litter box; although they are tasty, they are not food. Ugh! My bf calls them "Doggy Snickers". I had no idea dogs love cat poop before I lived with Daisy and Tyson. Gross. you've got to ask yourself one question: 'Do I feel loquacious?' -- well do you, punk? Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
skycat 0 #4 December 15, 2004 QuoteQuote- I will not munch on "leftovers" in the kitty litter box; although they are tasty, they are not food. Ugh! My bf calls them "Doggy Snickers". I had no idea dogs love cat poop before I lived with Daisy and Tyson. Gross. 3 words Electric Litter BoxFly it like you stole it! Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Rebecca 0 #5 December 15, 2004 Actually, we have one of those igloo-type deals, where the kitty has a little curved ramp to walk in and out (wipes her feet on the way out). The dog can't get her head in the opening. That probably only works for bigger dogs, though. Little ones could just walk right in. you've got to ask yourself one question: 'Do I feel loquacious?' -- well do you, punk? Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
SpeedRacer 1 #6 December 15, 2004 Quote- Sticking my nose into someone's crotch is not an acceptable way of saying 'hello.' well, some people seem to appreciate it.... Speed Racer -------------------------------------------------- Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
slug 1 #7 December 15, 2004 QuoteQuoteDear God, May I have my testicles back? ROFLMAO!!!!! I know a few guys who might have the same prayer! Not funny God damn puppy teeth are sharp Puppy gained 11 lbs in third month doubling his weight. Nice puppyR.i.P. Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
ChangoLanzao 0 #8 December 15, 2004 QuoteQuote- I will not munch on "leftovers" in the kitty litter box; although they are tasty, they are not food. Ugh! My bf calls them "Doggy Snickers". I had no idea dogs love cat poop before I lived with Daisy and Tyson. Gross. Well, they look a lot like BROWNIES Anyway, that's nothing; my dogs like to eat the chicken shit --- that gives em bad breath an order of magnitude (at least!) worse than the kittie brownies do ... ---------------------------------- Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
mjosparky 4 #9 December 15, 2004 QuoteQuoteQuote- I will not munch on "leftovers" in the kitty litter box; although they are tasty, they are not food. Ugh! My bf calls them "Doggy Snickers". I had no idea dogs love cat poop before I lived with Daisy and Tyson. Gross. 3 words Electric Litter Box 3 little words NO MORE CATS SparkyMy idea of a fair fight is clubbing baby seals Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
MrHixxx 0 #10 December 15, 2004 Please add one for my dog Chewy... God, please make me stop peeing on girls when they visit my master. It is winter time and I don't want to be kicked out in to the back yard with this triffle of a coat you've give me (He's a Pit Bull). In return, I won't eat any cats this year... I think it is some subconcious thing I do to get back at him for taking my balls... Also, if I have to wash clothes in Heaven. Will I be provided with hands or a washing machine??? respectfully, Chewydeath,as men call him, ends what they call men -but beauty is more now than dying’s when Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
