outside the asylum

[happythoughts 0]

In Douglas Adams classic "So Long and Thanks for All the Fish", there was a character who regarded his front door as the door to an asylum. Being at home was being "outside the asylum".

His reasoning for this was the instructions printed on a box of toothpicks. "Insert into mouth, moisten tip, probe teeth"

He regarded this as proof that people were crazy when they needed instructions on how to use toothpicks.

From the BBC:

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BBC shows staff how to walk through door

LONDON, (AFP) - Staff at the British Broadcasting Corporation (BBC) have been given instructions on how to walk through a door, a tabloid newspaper reported.

The Sun, Britain's biggest selling daily newspaper, reported that workers at the global broadcaster's offices in Birmingham, central England, had been issued with a memo advising them on how to get through a revolving door.

Apparently, it was sent too late...

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An email, sent to 800 staff -- complete with matchstick man diagrams for ease of understanding -- comes after one worker trapped her foot in the new doors at the BBC's offices in Britain's second city, cracking a toenail, The Sun said.

Quote

"Follow these simple steps each time you use the doors," says the memo entitled Revolving Security Door User Instructions.

"To enter the secure space move directly into the revolving door compartment.

"The door will start automatically. One person per compartment. Keep hands, feet and bags away from the edges of the door."

A BBC spokesman told The Sun: "We are keeping in line with the Health and Safety at Work Act."

It only one person could be saved by having these instructions beforehand, then it is certainly worth it.

Quote

Employees at BBC Radio Sheffield in the north of England had previously been instructed on how to get through the often confusing and peril-laden task of boiling a kettle.

The Sun quoted the edict as saying: "Remove lid from kettle and fill kettle with water."

clicky

[Zenister 0]

you forgot to mention that his house was inside out...

____________________________________
Those who fail to learn from the past are simply Doomed.

[PhillyKev 0]

Dude...that's fucked up. I have to read that book. A) Becasue I feel the same way about my front door.

B) Because I watch people every day use the revolving door at work incorrectly in the most spectacular ways.

Yesterday, a little girl got her head caught in the door. Every day I see people waiting until the people coming the other way go all the way through before getting in. (Duh, that's why they put a revolving doo in so you don't have to wait). And always, 2 people will be walking together and they are apparently brain dead because they'll screw up and both get in the same slot in the door, not paying attention.....and when it start moving get all jammed up in it.

Oh, and my personal favorite. trying to go through the left side of the door, wondering why it won't move that way, and continuing to push it with a puzzled look on their face.

Any chance I can get a copy of those instructions somehow?

[Zenister 0]

better start with the Hitchhikers Guide to the Galaxy.... its not required, but it will help it make more sense.. then get on with the Dirk Gently serier (even better as books IMO as everything but SOLATFATF were originally radio plays.. and then "Last Chance to See"

Douglas Adams was a great writer...sooo much sub text wrapped in some really amazingly great comedic writing.... you'll never feel the brick...

____________________________________
Those who fail to learn from the past are simply Doomed.

[happythoughts 0]

I think he lets you sit back and look at stuff from the viewpoint of an impartial observer. Once you get that perspective, you laugh at the everyday stuff when he points it out.

[PhillyKev 0]

Yeah, I've read that, just not this one.

[3ringheathen 0]

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His reasoning for this was the instructions printed on a box of toothpicks. "Insert into mouth, moisten tip, probe teeth"

Reminds me of the warning label on one of those continous loop cloth towel dispensers you find in public restrooms:

"Inserting head into loop may cause serious injury or death."

That means that someone, somewhere, managed to kill themselves trying to dry their face off.

-Josh

If you have time to panic, you have time to do something more productive. -Me*
*Ron has accused me of plagiarizing this quote. He attributes it to Douglas Adams.

[freeflir29 0]

I used to spend a LOT of time in the Chicago Midway airport. I found supremely entertaining to stand over by the elevators and watch people on the escalators. I never realized that something so simple as an escalator was such a big challenge for so many. Certainly let me know why skydivers continue to be such a small percentage of the population.

[happythoughts 0]

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Certainly let me know why skydivers continue to be such a small percentage of the population.

Of course, skydiving can be simplified down to:
1. Down the hall
2. First door on the right
3. Watch your step

[akarunway 1]

3. Watch your step . ---------------------------------------------It's a BIG one . LOL

I hold it true, whate'er befall;
I feel it, when I sorrow most;
'Tis better to have loved and lost
Than never to have loved at all.

[skykittykat 0]

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Certainly let me know why skydivers continue to be such a small percentage of the population.

Useless bit of info here, but more people die from donekeys per year than from plane crashes.

Also, statistically, according to insurance, it is more dangerous to mountain bike or horse riding than skydiving.

Liz

[slug 1]

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I used to spend a LOT of time in the Chicago Midway airport. I found supremely entertaining to stand over by the elevators and watch people on the escalators. I never realized that something so simple as an escalator was such a big challenge for so many. Certainly let me know why skydivers continue to be such a small percentage of the population.

Shame they don't have a "beer rule" for the adults on their "first" escalater ride.
Ever notice on those escalters the damn first step keeps on moving and if you don't time your escalater entry just right Face plant

Then there was the time we saw a dude try to run up the escalater with a arm full of groceries To bad it was the bottom of the down escalater, face plant Groceries

The damn escalater kept on delivering more peole before the dude could pick himself and groceries up.

Damn new stuff Whats next elevator's

R.I.P.

[happythoughts 0]

I've been in airports and seen a "escalator broken, please use stairs" sign. Why not just take the sign down and let people use them as stairs? If they are not moving, that is essentially what they are.

Why tell people, "you can't use these stairs, go somewhere else and use those stairs" ?

It makes no sense.

[Dougiefresh 0]

These sorts of things make me want to have a Pan Galactic Gargle Blaster.

Human beings, who are almost unique in having the ability to learn from the experience of others, are also remarkable for their apparent disinclination to do so. --Douglas Adams

[bobsled92 0]

Quote

I used to spend a LOT of time in the Chicago Midway airport. I found supremely entertaining to stand over by the elevators and watch people on the escalators. I never realized that something so simple as an escalator was such a big challenge for so many. Certainly let me know why skydivers continue to be such a small percentage of the population.

********************
We have a girl at work that has to use to "special elevator" at our food and shopping center part of our building because she can get on or off an escalator without assistance . she acts like it's jumping out of a moving car. 5'3" 270lbs and CAT-LIKE reflexes (she said she got her shoe stuck in one as a child)

_______________________________
If I could be a Super Hero,
I chose to be: "GRANT-A-CLAUS". and work 365 days a Year.
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