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cocheese

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Prepare, for the apocalypse is nigh. Soon the bombs will start falling, the grid will go down, and the system will collapse. Now is the time to liquidate your stocks and stock up on liquids. Take your money out of Sirius and Google, and put it in shotguns and canned goods. Start filling forty gallon drums with high octane unleaded, and Call Before You Dig because you want at least three feet of dirt over that shelter before the #%&@ hits the fan, and that generator is going to run through a lot of gas. You do have a generator, don't you? Buy surplus gas masks and level "B" Nuclear/Biological/Chemical suits for your kids, if you love them. Buy them positive pressure respirators and level "A" suits, if you love them and you want them to live. Euthanize your pets now--They'll just be in the way later. Lie to your friends--Tell them you're having a septic tank put in. That shelter is barely going to hold the people you have to bring with you; you don't want to have to share bed space and a waste bucket with that asshole who never returned your skill saw. Take a day off work and have your appendix removed. That is, of course, unless you want your twelve-year-old son performing the operation with his Swiss Army knife after you develop appendicitis six months from now. Start pondering your reaction to random scenarios, no matter how improbable, such as, "Just supposing I actually did have to fend off a zombie attack...." Finally, bolt your doors, board up your windows, and watch Red Dawn on a continuous loop until the EMPs from the ICBM air bursts knock out all the world's electronics. You did remember to Faraday your ham radio, didn't you?
I don't have an M.D. or a law degree. I have bachelor's in kicking ass and taking names.

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Take your pick on the reason why.
She is Da Man, and you better not mess with Da Man,
because she will lay some keepdown on you faster than, well, really fast. ~Billvon

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