mnealtx 0 #1 January 12, 2005 Questions that really need answers... 1. Who was the first person to look at a cow and say, "I think I'll squeeze these dangly things here,and drink whatever comes out?" 2. Who was the first person to say, "See that chicken there? I'm gonna eat the next thing that comes out of its butt." 3. Why is there a light in the fridge and not in the freezer? 4. If Jimmy cracks corn and no one cares, why is there a song about him? 5. Can a hearse carrying a corpse drive in the carpool lane? 6. Why do people point to their wrist when asking for the time, but don't point to their crotch when they ask where the bathroom is? 7. Why does your OB-GYN leave the room when you get undressed if they are going to look up there anyway? 8. Why does Goofy stand erect while Pluto remains on all fours? They're both dogs! 9. If Wile E. Coyote had enough money to buy all that Acme stuff, why didn't he just buy dinner? 10. If quizzes are quizzical, what are tests? 11. If corn oil is made from corn, and vegetable oil is made from vegetables, then what is baby oil made from? 12. If electricity comes from electrons, does morality come from morons? 13 Why do the Alphabet song and Twinkle, Twinkle Little Star have the same tune? 14. Stop singing and read on.......... 15. Do illiterate people get the full effect of Alphabet Soup? 16. Did you ever notice that when you blow in a dog's face, he gets mad at you, but when you take him on a car ride, he sticks his head out the window? 17. Does pushing the elevator button more than once make it arrive faster? 18. Why doesn't glue stick to the inside of the bottle?Mike I love you, Shannon and Jim. POPS 9708 , SCR 14706 Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
mnealtx 0 #2 January 12, 2005 People who live in glass houses should make love in the basement. Never read the fine print. There ain't no way you're going to like it. If you let a smile be your umbrella, then most likely your butt will get soaking wet. The only two things we do with greater frequency in middle age are urinate and attend funerals. The trouble with bucket seats is that not everybody has the same size bucket. To err is human, to forgive - highly unlikely. Do you realize that in about 40 years, we'll have thousands of old ladies running around with tattoos? Money can't buy happiness -- but somehow it's more comfortable to cry in a Porsche than in a Hyundai. Drinking makes some husbands see double and feel single. Living in a nudist colony takes all the fun out of Halloween. After a certain age, if you don't wake up aching in every joint, you are probably dead.Mike I love you, Shannon and Jim. POPS 9708 , SCR 14706 Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
jakee 1,601 #3 January 12, 2005 Quote14. Stop singing and read on.......... Yep... You got meDo you want to have an ideagasm? Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
happythoughts 0 #4 January 12, 2005 Quote3. Why is there a light in the fridge and not in the freezer? Because kids are afraid of the dark. If I have them in the fridge, I just want to make a point, not scare them. Quote7. Why does your OB-GYN leave the room when you get undressed if they are going to look up there anyway? I never leave the room. I'm not a Gyn., but I play one in bars. Quote8. Why does Goofy stand erect while Pluto remains on all fours? They're both dogs! Goofy stands erect? You are watching Disney-animal-porn? How sick is that? Quote13 Why do the Alphabet song and Twinkle, Twinkle Little Star have the same tune? Because the tune was written by the same people who write techno. They only have one tune. Actually, not a complete tune, just a piece that repeats. "How can you tell if your techno CD is skipping?" "You can't." Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
gremlin 0 #5 January 12, 2005 Quote 5. Can a hearse carrying a corpse drive in the carpool lane? If you bought a hearse and put an empty coffin in the back do you think the cops would ever demand you open it to prove you can use the carpool lane? I'm drunk, you're drunk, lets go back to mine.... Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Mayberry 0 #6 January 12, 2005 Quote13 Why do the Alphabet song and Twinkle, Twinkle Little Star have the same tune? Damn, that's right!! In all my years I've never really thought about that!! DonDon Here's to friends! Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
seekfun 0 #7 January 12, 2005 Here's one I'd like an answer to: Why can people hold a cell phone to their ear for 40 minutes straight but can't move their arm 6 inches to turn on their turn signal?"...there is a there out there..." - Tom Robbins Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
turtlespeed 226 #8 January 12, 2005 Why can't you lick your elbow? Why did you just try to lick your elbow?I'm not usually into the whole 3-way thing, but you got me a little excited with that. - Skymama BTR #1 / OTB^5 Official #2 / Hellfish #408 / VSCR #108/Tortuga/Orfun Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Mayberry 0 #9 January 12, 2005 Why can't you lick your elbow? *tries to lick elbow,then reads rest of post* D'OH!!!Don Here's to friends! Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
