FlyinNover 0 #1 February 5, 2005 Andy and Deborah knew each other in high school. Now in their early 30s, they ran into each over Christmas and started dating. They only went on two dates before mutually calling it quits. (They slept together one of those times.) Since the breakup was done over the phone, they went out to dinner to talk a little more. Both left that dinner happy and friendly, if only a little regretful. 11 days passed, and he got this email. I'm going to post her letter, but I want to hear our stories about crazy breakup emails or letters. You get extra points if you post it! Here's a few things you need to know. Him: Andy Her: Deborah. (Jill is her sister.) The "mailing list" is the "Quote Of The Day", a not-quite-daily comedy email which is usually a short quote he overheard somewhere preceded by a page or so of his observations, ramblings, and rants. Here's a random quote from the list: "Geoff: 'Women are like a fine wine. You pay a lot of money expecting a nice experience. But most of the time they end up being bitter and dry. That and they stain the carpet.' " Here's Andy on GWB: "Bush - I still can't believe this monkey is actually our president. But he's a resilient one, you have to admit. He didn't win the election but he still became the president. The UN said he couldn't go to war, he went to war anyway. I'm starting to think he didn't even get accepted to Yale. He probably just showed up there one day and started going to class. Ugh. D+" This post isn't about the quote-list, but even the writers of The Onion called his stuff hilarious. In the most recent Quote he compared the times his car has run out of gas. Anyway, here's her email. Keep in mind: they went on two dates. ----- Andy - Although Jill suggested that I not be mean, I really just need to be honest - brutally so - but damn it, at least I'm honest. Ready? 1. Take me off this mailing list. Its crap, uninspired, there's not even an ounce of being interesting there, and not even about interesting things that you've said - its what other people freakin' say. What ever happened to YOUR creativity?! 2. You can't even begin to comprehend the disappointment I've experienced with trying to get to know you. First of all, there's nothing interesting to know about. I tried so hard to find a thread and there just weren't any. What happened to the person I thought you were - maybe you were never that, I don't know.... surely getting a degree in film would suggest that there was some creativity going on in there, that you had something worth expressing that was new or different or interesting or weird or anything inspired! 3. Over dinner in MD you said you wanted to be tested, to find out what you're really made of when it matters. A- HELLO! You were completely oblivious to the tests. Did you miss the fact that you - f**King you - were sitting across from/ next to/ etc. etc. ME?!?! - the ultimate quizmaster?! Its just the way I interact with everyone; believe me there was no special need to test you. You were being tested every single moment. Unfortunately, you failed EVERY test - and I kept making them progressively easier. What's worse is you didn't even know you were being tested. No wonder your 90% happy with your life - you're complete oblivious. 4. Perhaps the most interested you seemed to be in me was while asking about my fantasies. Surprise, surpise. And I gave you so many "benefits of a doubt," WAITING and even setting up situations for you to ask questions that would convey that you were even remotely, truely interested in getting to know me (as you say you wanted to - and have wanted to for HOW MANY YEARS???). 5. You got your fantasy fulfilled and what did I get? Jeez - how much further out of my way could I have gone to get to know you? And I get back nothing.... and you call me "Deb" even AFTER I told you that I abhor being called that.... Not a smart thing to do if you're expecting to get anything back. Honestly, you're lucky I drove you back to my house to get your car. 6. Gas is a problem for you. Your car seems to run out of it, but you didn't. EEEW. Why am I still wasting my time even telling you this? (I'm wondering - 'cause I know you're not.) Perhaps I'd like to see you challenge yourself to actually experience the subtext of your life. As an ex-filmmaker, you must know of the concept of catharsis, right? When is yours going to begin? (Test yourself for your own sake!) Good luck. Seriously - You'll never need to ask Jill again about me - Shit, you had every opportunity to ask ME about ME and didn't... so don't waste her time either. You must have really not wanted to know about me for any reason other than to get a piece of this action... Unfortunately, you were given far more than you could handle. Start paying attention to something other than football.... like even your gas tank would be a good start. No one should really be suprised you've run out of gasoline so many times - not even you. It speaks volumes about how you live your life - symbolism anyone?!? Even now - I hope this helps.... but yes, it should hurt to know all of this. At least I have the balls to tell you how to you improve by getting a clue. -Deborah ----- This chick is batshit insane. I'll admit that if you don't know Dan or how well he writes, the first two bullet points go in her favor. But I know them both and I'll vouch for his creativity. He gave me a lot of the lines I used in this. [1] All names have been changed to protect.......well, to protect me from getting murdered by this girl. [edited........just because] Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Kris 0 #2 February 5, 2005 Batshit insane? Hardly. She sounds like she's got a pretty solid head on her shoulders and a great wit to go with it.Sky, Muff Bro, Rodriguez Bro, and Bastion of Purity and Innocence!™ Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Hazarrd 1 #3 February 5, 2005 haha that email is awesome. sounds like a guy managed to really screw things up. .-. Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
mnealtx 0 #4 February 5, 2005 I dunno.. sounds like the guy needs to get HIS head on straight... sounds like she's pretty well squared away, if maybe just a tidge arrogant...Mike I love you, Shannon and Jim. POPS 9708 , SCR 14706 Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
flyhi 24 #5 February 5, 2005 QuoteHe gave me a lot of the lines I used in this. That tends to support the girl, imo. He sounds like a frustrated Steven Wright only without the humor, if you think Steven has humor. Got to give the nod to the estro-American on this one. Sorry.Shit happens. And it usually happens because of physics. Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
jceman 1 #6 February 5, 2005 I'm glad to see that I'm not the only one here who thinks that the lady in question has her shit together and the guy is nothing more tnan an immature clown. I vote we rescind his membership in the guys club, his ilk give the rest of us a bad image (as if we need any help in that department.) Faster horses, younger women, older whiskey, more money. Why do they call it "Tourist Season" if we can't shoot them? Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
dzdiva 7 #7 February 5, 2005 I'm impressed with the way you fellas responded to this post. There's hope for the male species yet!"It's not just a daydream if you choose to make it your life..." Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
diablopilot 2 #8 February 5, 2005 He may be imature, but she's got some deep seeded issues of self worth, and insecurity.---------------------------------------------- You're not as good as you think you are. Seriously. Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Superman32 0 #9 February 6, 2005 Is she hot??? Inveniam Viam aut Faciam I'm back biatches! Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
