turtlespeed 226
QuoteI don't know, but I can't tell you the number of times that my clothing has fallen right off. WTH?
BOB - the amazing clothes thrower
Now, you see why I hesitate to wear lingerie to the Naughty Cupid Boogie. It could get ugly!
kbordson 8
QuoteNow, you see why I hesitate to wear lingerie to the Naughty Cupid Boogie. It could get ugly!
I doubt "ugly" is what the guys would be thinking...... Besides, you have enough spunk. You could just walk away like you meant to do that.
I'd been out all day on my Honda Fireblade doing silly speeds with some friends. They couldn't keep up in the twistys so we stop a my favourite knee down corner to talk about race line and the quickest way in and out of the corner (I'm sure bike riders will understand...)
Anyway after about 20 minutes of chatting I decide to demonstrate the perfect knee down line.
I enter the corner a little too fast, start my braking a little too late, tyres a little too cold, with a little too much bravado and lose the front wheel at approx 90mph.
I'm sliding alog on my ass, alongside my bike towards a oncoming car.
Luckily, he stops, the bike misses him, hits the verge and does a cartwheel into the ditch. I slide feet first under the car. I stop just as my helmet hits the bumper.
I'm on my feet in 12 nano seconds, checking if they are ok (litigation right?)
The bike was a mess, tail fairing screwed and I broke my wrist.
The worst thing was, the last words I spoke before I set off to demo the corner...
"watch this"
Man I coulda dug a hole right there and then.
Anyway after about 20 minutes of chatting I decide to demonstrate the perfect knee down line.
I enter the corner a little too fast, start my braking a little too late, tyres a little too cold, with a little too much bravado and lose the front wheel at approx 90mph.
I'm sliding alog on my ass, alongside my bike towards a oncoming car.
Luckily, he stops, the bike misses him, hits the verge and does a cartwheel into the ditch. I slide feet first under the car. I stop just as my helmet hits the bumper.
I'm on my feet in 12 nano seconds, checking if they are ok (litigation right?)
The bike was a mess, tail fairing screwed and I broke my wrist.
The worst thing was, the last words I spoke before I set off to demo the corner...
"watch this"
Man I coulda dug a hole right there and then.
Lee _______________________________
In a world full of people, only some want to fly, is that not crazy?
http://www.ukskydiver.co.uk
In a world full of people, only some want to fly, is that not crazy?
http://www.ukskydiver.co.uk
QuoteQuoteI don't know, but I can't tell you the number of times that my clothing has fallen right off. WTH?
Uh....hmmmm....ahhhhhh....That is so hot! There is nothing better than hot chicks with defective fasteners on their clothing....God bless you VSG!
The Original Cabana Boy!
Quote
Then, there was the time that I was in a crowded grocery store and in the most crowded aisle, and my skirt just fell right off me. It was a slippery, chiffon-like fabric and I had cut off the waistband because of my small waist and just tied it into a knot under my top. As the long skirt danced through the air and down to the floor, I was trying in vain to catch any of the ends of the fluttering mess.
My day just got so much better. Thank you for the visual!
Blues,
Dave
"I AM A PROFESSIONAL EXTREME ATHLETE!"
(drink Mountain Dew)
(drink Mountain Dew)
turtlespeed 226
QuoteQuote
Then, there was the time that I was in a crowded grocery store and in the most crowded aisle, and my skirt just fell right off me. It was a slippery, chiffon-like fabric and I had cut off the waistband because of my small waist and just tied it into a knot under my top. As the long skirt danced through the air and down to the floor, I was trying in vain to catch any of the ends of the fluttering mess.
My day just got so much better. Thank you for the visual!
Blues,
Dave
BUT - did you bend over to pick it back up?
I'm not usually into the whole 3-way thing, but you got me a little excited with that. - Skymama
BTR #1 / OTB^5 Official #2 / Hellfish #408 / VSCR #108/Tortuga/Orfun
BTR #1 / OTB^5 Official #2 / Hellfish #408 / VSCR #108/Tortuga/Orfun
QuoteQuoteQuote
Then, there was the time that I was in a crowded grocery store and in the most crowded aisle, and my skirt just fell right off me. It was a slippery, chiffon-like fabric and I had cut off the waistband because of my small waist and just tied it into a knot under my top. As the long skirt danced through the air and down to the floor, I was trying in vain to catch any of the ends of the fluttering mess.
My day just got so much better. Thank you for the visual!
Blues,
Dave
BUT - did you bend over to pick it back up?
She certainly did in my version...slowly, and at the waist, not the knees.
Blues,
Dave
"I AM A PROFESSIONAL EXTREME ATHLETE!"
(drink Mountain Dew)
(drink Mountain Dew)
Quote[BUT - did you bend over to pick it back up?
She certainly did in my version...slowly, and at the waist, not the knees.
The sad part was that this man and I had locked eyes for a moment. I kind of gave him this helpless "I can't believe this is happening" look, and he gave me the same, but the happy version. GOD.
QuoteThe sad part was that this man and I had locked eyes for a moment. I kind of gave him this helpless "I can't believe this is happening" look, and he gave me the same, but the happy version. GOD.
Well that's close to how I imagined it...as you were bending over (at the waist), you were glancing coyly back over your shoulder at me. And then....oh, wait...I should probably keep the rest to myself.
Well, at least I now have a humiliating experience to add to this thread...when I had to stand up and shake hands with a client who walked into my office right after playing this out in my imagination.
Blues,
Dave
"I AM A PROFESSIONAL EXTREME ATHLETE!"
(drink Mountain Dew)
(drink Mountain Dew)
Remster 30
Quotewhen I had to stand up and shake hands with a client
Were you happy to see him?
One that stands out for me is the classic adolecent nightmare, that yes, happened to me.... Buying condoms at the pharmacy, the register lady turns to the back and yells, waving the box in the air "whats the price on those?"
Remster
QuoteOne that stands out for me is the classic adolecent nightmare, that yes, happened to me.... Buying condoms at the pharmacy, the register lady turns to the back and yells, waving the box in the air "whats the price on those?"
LOL - That just happened to me a few months ago. Luckily the grocery store was in a small town where I don't know anyone.
Blues,
Dave
"I AM A PROFESSIONAL EXTREME ATHLETE!"
(drink Mountain Dew)
(drink Mountain Dew)
When I was a kid my mom sent her boyfriend and me out to buy her a couple of things. I just remember standing in line with my mom's boyfriend, who was this big burly trucker, while he was holding Extra Super Tampax Tampons, toilet paper, Midol and a 6 pack of beer. He just looked at the sales clerk very seriously and said "I'm having my period" and winked.
I swear those people loved to torture me.
--------------
(Do not, I repeat DO NOT, take my posts seriously.)
I swear those people loved to torture me.
--------------
(Do not, I repeat DO NOT, take my posts seriously.)
Brains 2
Ok, plenty of people have shared some pretty embarrassing stories so i guess i will too.
When i was a kid i swam on the swim team in my neighborhood every summer. The normal drill would be to wake up, throw on my suit, shirt, and flip flops, grab a breakfast bar and towel, and ride my bike down to the neighborhood pool. Practice started at 7:15 am. So one moring i wake up throw on my shirt, flip flops, grab my towel and breakfast bar and ride my bike to the pool. Notice anything missing? Yeah, i didn't either till we were doing stretching/warmup and the person holding my feet for some situps asked, " You are going to swim in your underwear?" Yup, that's right tighty whiteies, i rode home and didn't practice that day.
Never look down on someone, unless they are going down on you.
When i was a kid i swam on the swim team in my neighborhood every summer. The normal drill would be to wake up, throw on my suit, shirt, and flip flops, grab a breakfast bar and towel, and ride my bike down to the neighborhood pool. Practice started at 7:15 am. So one moring i wake up throw on my shirt, flip flops, grab my towel and breakfast bar and ride my bike to the pool. Notice anything missing? Yeah, i didn't either till we were doing stretching/warmup and the person holding my feet for some situps asked, " You are going to swim in your underwear?"
Yup, that's right tighty whiteies, i rode home and didn't practice that day.Never look down on someone, unless they are going down on you.
turtlespeed 226
QuoteYou are going to swim in your underwear?"
Isn't that some kind of freudian dream or some shit - Way to make your dreams a reality, Jeff!
I'm not usually into the whole 3-way thing, but you got me a little excited with that. - Skymama
BTR #1 / OTB^5 Official #2 / Hellfish #408 / VSCR #108/Tortuga/Orfun
BTR #1 / OTB^5 Official #2 / Hellfish #408 / VSCR #108/Tortuga/Orfun
As a Marine on a Naval vessel during ship-to-ship refueling in the Atlantic, the fuel ship fires a line across on a rubber ball for use in pulling the fuel line over to our ship. The rubber ball bounces off a nearby conex box and pops me right on the grape. Two swabbies run up laughing their asses off asking the classic line, “Are you okay?”
Dirtball, a gruff, Indian ink tattooed dropout loser friend of mine, puffs a Salem outside the local 7-Eleven during high school. Suzie comes out and asks Dirtball for matches and he tells her to get them out of his right pocket. She smiles, reaches into his pants pocket then jerks her hand out laughing. Dirtball had a hole in his pocket where he had slipped his one-eyed-snake with a turtleneck.
A friend of mine, a former Mr. Universe, finishes taking a crap at a fancy nightclub but has a lot on his mind when he flushes and takes his time getting up. But not soon enough. It overflows into his draws. Freaking out in a stall in a packed men’s room with a nightclub full of hot women, he does what only Rambo would know to do in that predicament—haul ass outta there!
You're always the starter in your own life!
Dirtball, a gruff, Indian ink tattooed dropout loser friend of mine, puffs a Salem outside the local 7-Eleven during high school. Suzie comes out and asks Dirtball for matches and he tells her to get them out of his right pocket. She smiles, reaches into his pants pocket then jerks her hand out laughing. Dirtball had a hole in his pocket where he had slipped his one-eyed-snake with a turtleneck.
A friend of mine, a former Mr. Universe, finishes taking a crap at a fancy nightclub but has a lot on his mind when he flushes and takes his time getting up. But not soon enough. It overflows into his draws. Freaking out in a stall in a packed men’s room with a nightclub full of hot women, he does what only Rambo would know to do in that predicament—haul ass outta there!
You're always the starter in your own life!
Top of my dumb-ass list....
8th grade, just discovering girls...
Playing trumpet in the marching band at the football game half-time show. We were doing our formations and I was marching along just fine when I noticed the other team's cheerleaders on the sideline. I was marching along checking out the girls and a roar from the crowd got my attention....the roar was for the idiot marching all alone down around the 20-yard line with the rest of the band on the 50.
Had to make a mad dash back to the formation with everyone, cheerleaders included, laughing at me.
8th grade, just discovering girls...
Playing trumpet in the marching band at the football game half-time show. We were doing our formations and I was marching along just fine when I noticed the other team's cheerleaders on the sideline. I was marching along checking out the girls and a roar from the crowd got my attention....the roar was for the idiot marching all alone down around the 20-yard line with the rest of the band on the 50.
Had to make a mad dash back to the formation with everyone, cheerleaders included, laughing at me.
My reality and yours are quite different.
I think we're all Bozos on this bus.
Falcon5232, SCS8170, SCSA353, POPS9398, DS239
I think we're all Bozos on this bus.
Falcon5232, SCS8170, SCSA353, POPS9398, DS239
I don't know, but I can't tell you the number of times that my clothing has fallen right off. WTH?
BOB - the amazing clothes thrower
BTR #1 / OTB^5 Official #2 / Hellfish #408 / VSCR #108/Tortuga/Orfun