turtlespeed 226 #1 February 9, 2005 Snopes - Shmopes - I think this is funny - and I don't CARE if you Snopes it or NOT! > THE NEXT TIME YOU THINK YOU ARE HAVING A BAD DAY: > > Fire authorities in California found a corpse in a burned out section of > forest while assessing the damage done by a forest fire. The deceased > male was dressed in a full wet suit, complete with scuba tanks on his > back, flippers, and facemask. A post-mortem revealed that the person > died not from burns but from massive internal injuries. Dental records > provided a positive identification. Investigators then set about to > determine how a fully clad diver ended up in the middle of a forest > fire. It was revealed that on the day of the fire, the person went for a > diving trip off the coast some 20 miles from the forest. The fire > fighters, seeking to control the fire as quickly as possible, called in > a fleet of helicopters with very large dip buckets. Water was dipped > from the ocean and then flown to the forest fire and emptied. > You guessed it. One minute our diver was making like Flipper in the > Pacific, the next he was doing the breaststroke in a fire dip bucket 300 > feet in the air. Apparently he extinguished exactly 5'10" of the fire. > Some days it just doesn't pay to get out of bed. > This article was taken from the California Examiner, March 20,1998 > > > STILL THINK YOU ARE HAVING A BAD DAY? > > A man was working on his motorcycle on his patio and his wife was in the > kitchen. The man was racing the engine on the motorcycle when it > accidentally slipped into gear. The man, still holding onto the > handlebars, was dragged through the glass patio doors and along with the > motorcycle dumped onto the floor inside the house. > The wife, hearing the crash, ran into the dining room and found her > husband lying on the floor, cut and bleeding, the motorcycle lying next > to him and the shattered patio door. The wife ran to the phone and > summoned the ambulance. > Because they lived on a fairly large hill, the wife went down the > several flights of stairs to the street to escort the paramedics to her > husband. After the ambulance arrived and transported the man to the > hospital, the wife up righted the motorcycle and pushed it outside. > Seeing that gas was spilled on the floor, the wife got some paper > towels, blotted up the gasoline and threw the towels in the toilet. The > man was treated and released to come home. > Upon arriving home, he looked at the shattered patio door and the damage > done to his motorcycle. He became despondent, went to the bathroom, sat > down on the toilet and smoked a cigarette. After finishing the > cigarette, he flipped it between his legs into the toilet bowl while > seated. The wife, who was in the kitchen, heard the loud explosion and > her husband screaming. She ran into the bathroom and found her husband > lying on the floor. His trousers had been blown away and he was > suffering burns on the buttocks, the back of his legs, and his groin. > The wife again ran to the phone to call the ambulance. The very same > paramedic crew was dispatched and the wife met them at the street. The > paramedics loaded the husband on to the stretcher and began carrying him > to the street. While they were going down the stairs to the street > accompanied by the wife, one of the paramedics asked the wife how the > husband had burned himself. She told them and the paramedics started > laughing so hard, one of them slipped and tipped the stretcher, dumping > the husband out. He fell down the remaining stairs and broke his arm. > ...taken from a Florida Newspaper. > > Having a bad day? Just remember, it could be worse..... > > The average cost of rehabilitating a seal after the Exxon Valdez oil > spill in Alaska was $80,000. At a special ceremony, two of the most > expensively saved animals were released back into the wild amid cheers > and applause from onlookers. A minute later, in full view, a killer > whale ate them both. > > A psychology student in New York rented out her spare room to a > carpenter in order to nag him constantly and study his reactions. After > weeks of needling, he snapped and beat her with an axe leaving her > mentally retarded. > > A woman came home to find her husband in the kitchen, shaking > frantically with what looked like a wire running from his waist towards > the electric kettle. Intending to jolt him away from the deadly current > she whacked him with a handy plank of wood by the back door, breaking > his arm in two places. Until that moment he had been happily listening > to his Walkman. > > Two animal rights protesters were protesting at the cruelty of sending > pigs to a laughterhouse in Bonn Germany. Suddenly the pigs, all two > thousand of them, escaped through a broken fence and stampeded, > trampling the two hapless protesters to death. > > And finally....... > > Iraqi terrorist, Khay Rahnajet, didn't pay enough postage on a letter > bomb. It came back with "return to sender" stamped on it. Forgetting it > was the bomb, he opened it and was blown to bits. > > Your day's not so bad, is it?I'm not usually into the whole 3-way thing, but you got me a little excited with that. - Skymama BTR #1 / OTB^5 Official #2 / Hellfish #408 / VSCR #108/Tortuga/Orfun Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
ACMESkydiver 0 #2 February 9, 2005 See? No matter how bad it is, it could always be worse!! "Wherever you go, there you are."~Jaye Do not believe that possibly you can escape the reward of your action. Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Dougiefresh 0 #3 February 9, 2005 Quotethe cruelty of sending pigs to a laughterhouse What, they tell them jokes all day?Human beings, who are almost unique in having the ability to learn from the experience of others, are also remarkable for their apparent disinclination to do so. --Douglas Adams Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
DrunkMonkey 0 #4 February 9, 2005 QuoteQuotethe cruelty of sending pigs to a laughterhouse What, they tell them jokes all day? We wouldn't send them to the slaughter house if they weren't made of pork... Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
boinky 0 #5 February 9, 2005 Nope....I'm not having a bad day at all!!! 1. I have great friends!!! 2. For the 2'nd night in a row, I've run the batteries out on my cell phone! 3. I have my second "hot thread" in 2 days!!! 4. I've placed in the top 20, 3 out of 3 times in Texas Hold 'Em. LIFE IS FUCKING AWESOME!!!!Nina Are we called "DAWGs" because we stick our noses up people's butts? (RIP Buzz) Yep, you're a postwhore-billyvance Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
davedlg 0 #6 February 9, 2005 Funny stories. Too bad none of them are true. QuoteSnopes - Shmopes - I think this is funny - and I don't CARE if you Snopes it or NOT! http://www.snopes.com/horrors/freakish/scuba.htm http://www.snopes.com/embarrass/accident/toilet.asp http://www.snopes.com/humor/lists/fakenews.htm Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
turtlespeed 226 #7 February 9, 2005 I said i didn't care - I still don't - I might one day - but not today and probably not anytime soon. The fact that I don't care is compounded by the fact that this shit is funny as hell.I'm not usually into the whole 3-way thing, but you got me a little excited with that. - Skymama BTR #1 / OTB^5 Official #2 / Hellfish #408 / VSCR #108/Tortuga/Orfun Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
sunshine 2 #8 February 9, 2005 QuoteI said i didn't care - I still don't - I might one day - but not today and probably not anytime soon. The fact that I don't care is compounded by the fact that this shit is funny as hell. So just to clarify...you don't care? And you specifically started your thread saying you don't care because you don't care. And in stating that you don't care, what you really mean is you dont' care? ___________________________________________ meow I get a Mike hug! I get a Mike hug! Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
turtlespeed 226 #9 February 9, 2005 QuoteQuoteI said i didn't care - I still don't - I might one day - but not today and probably not anytime soon. The fact that I don't care is compounded by the fact that this shit is funny as hell. So just to clarify...you don't care? And you specifically started your thread saying you don't care because you don't care. And in stating that you don't care, what you really mean is you dont' care? Look - everyone - she may not be blonde afterall!I'm not usually into the whole 3-way thing, but you got me a little excited with that. - Skymama BTR #1 / OTB^5 Official #2 / Hellfish #408 / VSCR #108/Tortuga/Orfun Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
sunshine 2 #10 February 9, 2005 QuoteLook - everyone - she may not be blonde afterall! Uh-oh, you telling me it's time to wax the evidence again? ___________________________________________ meow I get a Mike hug! I get a Mike hug! Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
turtlespeed 226 #11 February 9, 2005 QuoteQuoteLook - everyone - she may not be blonde afterall! Uh-oh, you telling me it's time to wax the evidence again? Sure - you selling tickets?I'm not usually into the whole 3-way thing, but you got me a little excited with that. - Skymama BTR #1 / OTB^5 Official #2 / Hellfish #408 / VSCR #108/Tortuga/Orfun Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
