skydived19006 4 #1 February 17, 2005 Ok, here are a bunch of unrelated bathroom thoughts. Why do we refer to it as a “bathroom” if there’s no bath, is this regional? Is it ok to talk to the person in the stall next door? I don’t think so. Is it different for women as their generally only doing #1 in public rest rooms, while if a man’s in a stall he’s generally having a “sit down”? There’s another string regarding phone etiquette and the rest room, so I'll skip that one. Dose it designate a new stage in a relationship when your spouse is comfortable enough to sit down and poop while you’re brushing your teeth? My wife would kill me if she knew I was saying this but she doesn’t read these threads. She claims that when she sat down it was only to pee, then had a change of mind. Is this common for women? I don’t think having a change of mind if very common for men as if their standing is would be a real problem. Why are Americans so opposed to the bidet, or some other sort of cleaning as opposed to whipping? Most will argue that “it’s clean enough with the paper”. I counter this argument with “name two areas of your body that if you had human excrement you would simply wipe it off with some paper and go about your day. I think it’s interesting how men and women view poop’n at work. I think that the general consensus among men is that it amounts to an additional break and that they would much rather spend that time while at work than on their own time away form work. Seems that women are hung up on it and would rather do their “heavy business” at home. Thoughts? Potty parity: At the DZ in Lyons there were two RRs (men and women), since the skydiver pop ululation was 80+% men we would use the women’s if the men’s was busy. I was doing just that one morning, and had an unusually pungent session. I opened the door to leave and found an attractive young female FJC student waiting on the rest room. Long-story-short, I amended my personal usage rule that very moment, and never again did #2 in the women’s side! I like the term “poop’n” because I think it’s funny. You don’t think so? Nest time you’re at the DZ, need to use the restroom, and it’s busy. Knock and ask “are you poop’n”, it’s funny. Thoughts, Comments?Experience is what you get when you thought you were going to get something else. AC DZ Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
ChrisL 2 #2 February 17, 2005 Quote Why are Americans so opposed to the bidet, or some other sort of cleaning as opposed to whipping? I dont think most americans actually whip their own asses after taking a crap. __ My mighty steed Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Bouda 0 #3 February 17, 2005 Why are Americans so opposed to the bidet, or some other sort of cleaning as opposed to whipping? Most will argue that “it’s clean enough with the paper”. I counter this argument with “name two areas of your body that if you had human excrement you would simply wipe it off with some paper and go about your day. For this one i understand cause there have been times where i have felt like a shower after having some taco shits or spicy food dumps. plus a shower after a poop will help you not worry about " Is that going to stain?" in the back of your mind Look what i made at work today mom!! Put it on the fridge http://www.bouda.moonfruit.com Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
skydived19006 4 #4 February 17, 2005 Quote I dont think most americans actually whip their own asses after taking a crap. Good point!Experience is what you get when you thought you were going to get something else. AC DZ Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
kelel01 1 #5 February 17, 2005 QuoteI dont think most americans actually whip their own asses after taking a crap. Right . . . because they wipe it. They only whip it if they're into some nasty ass, hard core S&M stuff . . . that I'm fine with missing out on. Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
GTAVercetti 0 #6 February 17, 2005 QuoteOk, here are a bunch of unrelated bathroom thoughts. Why are Americans so opposed to the bidet, or some other sort of cleaning as opposed to whipping? Most will argue that “it’s clean enough with the paper”. I counter this argument with “name two areas of your body that if you had human excrement you would simply wipe it off with some paper and go about your day. I once wrote something about this: " Imagine this: You are walking along. Its nighttime. so visibility is low. You trip over an empty bottle of Mad Dog (I tend to drop them when the the blackout occurs) and down you go. And where do you land? The only place you could. In a big steaming pile of dog crap that some inconsiderate bastard forgot to remove after his canine did its duty. Son of a bitch, now you have shit all over your hands. My oh my, what are you to do? Now lets imagine that you are close to home, so away you go. When you get there, you have two choices: either get a paper towel and wipe it off and go about your evening or get some soap and water and clean your hands thoroughly. For the sake of friends and family, I HOPE to GOD you chose the latter. No one wants a stink palm. Enter my topic for today: the bidet. For those of you who are not in the know, a bidet looks like a toilet. But it has a big difference: water shoots up out of it to clean you off after a bathroom visit. And hopefully by now, you see the correlation between a bidet and my little example. Why is it that if we get some kind of filty material on our bodies anywhere but our ass, we wash and wash like we have an excessive compulsive disorder, yet for our bottoms, a mere thin tissue suffices? Does this make any sense? I submit to you that it does not. The bidet is a wonderful thing and you can bet your ass (totally crappy, DOUBLE pun intended) that I will have one in my house whenever I get one of those home thingies. But I hear a few arguements over why the bidet is not cool. SO lets go through a few and examine. Follow me. First, the name: bidet. Implies French. We are Americans. We don't like France. Maybe there is some sitgma that a bidet is some fruity European thing. Okay, it is European, I will give you that. But having a clean ass in far from fruity. And if you think it IS a wussy item to have, well, have fun with your dirty stanky ass you filthy bastard. The rest of us intelligent people will be hopping on the bidet bandwagon. Second: that is ghey. Okay, this one is just plain dumb. And I have actually heard this from people. They don't want to have water shooting up their ass cause it sounds like something gay people do. For christ sake people, how fucking stupid are you? For onething, the water is not shot out at you like a cannon. The pressure is adjustable. Not only that, but the body is made to keep things out. Therefor you muscles will protect you from the "ghey water" so you won't turn gay. See how retarded it sounds when you say it? And lastly, people just don't get it. I am not really sure how to fix this. Hopefully what I say here will help abit. But really, you just have to see one in action. And honestly, it really will make you more sanitary and have better hygiene and unlike what some of your co-workers or your dirt uncle Larry might show you, that is a GOOD thing. So, I urge you to join the clever people of the world who already use bidets. And until then, start using moist wipies at least. You ass and your partner will thank me. "Why yes, my license number is a palindrome. Thank you for noticing. Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
skydived19006 4 #7 February 17, 2005 I guess I hit a nerve there! Get em!Experience is what you get when you thought you were going to get something else. AC DZ Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
SpeedRacer 1 #8 February 17, 2005 BWAHAHAHAHA! anyway, I'm an American, and I have nothing against bidets, I just don't have one. And my bathroom is too tiny to have one installed. My solution: I take a dump in the morning right after breakfast (& the cup of tea/coffee) and THEN take my shower. So it all works out in the end.... Speed Racer -------------------------------------------------- Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Rebecca 0 #9 February 17, 2005 Quote So it all works out in the end.... Bwahahahaha!!! Yeah, I like that method too (when my body cooperates that is) I LOVE bidets!! Most nice hotels I've stayed in abroad have them... and MANY nice ones here in the US don't. It's almost like acknowledging that guests are going to poop is improper. I will build a house one day and it WILL have a bidet next to every toilet. you've got to ask yourself one question: 'Do I feel loquacious?' -- well do you, punk? Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
pleifer 0 #10 February 17, 2005 WHo needs a bidet when you have a 4 hp pressure washer I call it my Tim Allen bidet And if you are going to talk on the phone in the bathroom... DON"T use the loudspeaker _________________________________________ The Angel of Duh has spoke Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Bouda 0 #11 February 17, 2005 QuoteWHo needs a bidet when you have a 4 hp pressure washer I call it my Tim Allen bidet And if you are going to talk on the phone in the bathroom... DON"T use the loudspeaker sounds painful Look what i made at work today mom!! Put it on the fridge http://www.bouda.moonfruit.com Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
kelel01 1 #12 February 17, 2005 Only when you aim it right, and it shoots out of your mouth. Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
ChrisL 2 #13 February 17, 2005 QuoteQuote So it all works out in the end.... Bwahahahaha!!! Yeah, I like that method too (when my body cooperates that is) Hey wait just one damn minute here...are you suggesting that women crap???!? Thats nasty __ My mighty steed Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
happythoughts 0 #14 February 17, 2005 I have my body trained to only use the restroom during work hours. There is no reason why I shouldn't be paid for that also. Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
MWGemini 0 #15 February 17, 2005 You mean you don't know how to use the three seashells? Gold star to whoever can guess the origin of that. Mike Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
adamUK 3 #16 February 17, 2005 There is to be no talking to the person next door in the stall, especially at work since I might be sleeping... Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Casurf1978 0 #17 February 17, 2005 QuoteFor christ sake people, how fucking stupid are you? For onething, the water is not shot out at you like a cannon That's f-ing hilarious. I read your post while I was drinking water and almost splattered it all over my monitor. Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
skydiver30960 0 #18 February 17, 2005 QuoteWhy do we refer to it as a “bathroom” if there’s no bath, is this regional? Hmm.... gets me worrying about my nomenclature. Why do I call it the shitter when in fact I am the one doing the shitting (therefore I should be the shitter) and the facility is in fact that which is being shat upon? Shittee? Elvisio "no valuable input whatsoever" Rodriguez Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Buried 0 #19 February 17, 2005 QuoteYou mean you don't know how to use the three seashells? Gold star to whoever can guess the origin of that. Mike Demolition Man? Where is my fizzy-lifting drink? Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
skydiver30960 0 #20 February 17, 2005 Demolition man. Elvisio "joy-joy feelings to you too" Rodriguez edit: DAMMIT! Two minutes too slow... Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
gremlin 0 #21 February 17, 2005 A group of us were skydiving out in Spain. There was a choice of a couple of apartments and a friend - who I shall call Chris to protect his dignity - said that he prefered the other apartment because they had those foot spas in the bathroom. After a few minutes of scratching our heads we realised that he was talking about the Bidet. Everytime I see a bidet now I imagine him giving his feet a good wash - just after I have used it for its correct purpose! I'm drunk, you're drunk, lets go back to mine.... Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
beowulf 1 #22 February 17, 2005 QuoteYou mean you don't know how to use the three seashells? Gold star to whoever can guess the origin of that. Mike Demolition Man Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
gerrcoin 0 #23 February 19, 2005 QuoteEverytime I see a bidet now I imagine him giving his feet a good wash - just after I have used it for its correct purpose! What, you mean to tell me that those things are not drinking fountains? And the ones in the park....oh no!! Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
SpeedRacer 1 #24 February 19, 2005 Oh, and in case anyone is NOT convinced that there is a website for anything: http://www.poopreport.com/ Your # 1 source for your # 2 business! Speed Racer -------------------------------------------------- Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
SpeedRacer 1 #25 February 19, 2005 QuoteI will build a house one day and it WILL have a bidet next to every toilet. what's wrong with having the bidet IN the toilet? then you don't have two large devices cluttering up your bathroom. You can buy these Japanese toilet seats that have bidet nozzles w/ adjustble pressure & water temperature, blow dry for afterwards, and a heated toilet seat. They install right on your toilet, and they cost about 400-500$. That's an expensive shit, but just think, at least you would use it every day. Speed Racer -------------------------------------------------- Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
