Gravitymaster 0 #1 March 2, 2005 MEN – PAY ATTENTION WOMEN – YOU WILL UNDERSTAND PERFECTLY …. 1. Names -If Midge, Fanny, Carla and Sharon go out for lunch, they will call each other Midge, Fanny, Carla and Sharon. -If Mark, Roger, Bill and Bob go out, they will affectionately refer to each other as Godzilla, Peanut-Head Fat Boy and The Rev. 2. Eating out -When the bill arrives, Mark, Roger, Bill and Bob will each throw in $20, even though it’s only for $32.50. None of them will have anything smaller, and none will actually admit they want change back. -When the girls get their bill, out come the pocket calculators. 3. Money -A man will pay $2 for a $1 item he needs. -A woman will pay $1 for a $2 item that she doesn't need, but is on sale. 4. Bathrooms -A man has five items in his bathroom: a toothbrush, shaving cream, razor, a bar of soap, and a towel from the Marriott. -The average number of items in the typical woman’s bathroom is 337. A man would not be able to identify most of these items. 5. Arguments -A woman has the last word in any argument. -Anything a man says after that is the beginning of a new argument. 6. Cats -Women love cats. -Men say they love cats, but when women aren't looking, men kick cats. 7. Future -A woman worries about the future until she gets a husband. -A man never worries about the future until he gets a wife. 8. Success -A successful man is one who makes more money than his wife can spend. -A successful woman is one who can find such a man. 9. Marriage A woman marries a man expecting he will change, but he doesn't. A man marries a woman expecting that she won't change, and she does. 10. Dressing up -A woman will dress up to go shopping, water the plants, empty the garbage, answer the phone, read a book, and get the mail. -A man will dress up for weddings and funerals. 11. Natural -Men wake up as good-looking as they went to bed. -Women somehow deteriorate during the night. 12. Offspring -Ah, children. A woman knows all about her children. She knows about dentist appointments and romances, best friends, favorite foods, secret fears and hopes and dreams. -A man is vaguely aware of some short people living in the house. 13. Thoughts for the day Any married man should forget his mistakes. (There is no use in two people remembering the same thing.) And Finally … A couple drove down a country road for several miles, not saying a word. An earlier discussion had led to an argument and neither of them wanted to concede their position. As they passed a barnyard of mules, jack asses, and pigs, the husband asked sarcastically, “Relatives of yours?” “Yes”, the wife replies, “in-laws”. Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Brains 2 #2 March 2, 2005 Quote6. Cats -Women love cats. -Men say they love cats, but when women aren't looking, men kick cats. Thanks, that was funny. Never look down on someone, unless they are going down on you. Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Dougiefresh 0 #3 March 2, 2005 Quote5. Arguments -A woman has the last word in any argument. -Anything a man says after that is the beginning of a new argument. Amen. Always let the woman think she's won. ...then go kick the cat.Human beings, who are almost unique in having the ability to learn from the experience of others, are also remarkable for their apparent disinclination to do so. --Douglas Adams Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
linny 1 #4 March 2, 2005 Thank God I'm no longer in a relationship. Can't handle all that bull shit Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
kelel01 1 #5 March 2, 2005 Oh, how I miss the bull shit. Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
OrangeJumper 0 #6 March 2, 2005 QuoteThank God I'm no longer in a relationship. Can't handle all that bull shit Amen....to much MF'in drama. The Original Cabana Boy! Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
masterrig 1 #7 March 2, 2005 How true! How true! Chuck Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Slappie 9 #8 March 2, 2005 I have to agree with everything in that list. With the exception being #6 Quote 6. Cats -Women love cats. -Men say they love cats, but when women aren't looking, men kick cats. I trully like cats. Well most cats, I loved my kitty.. he was my best friend. So cats are cool. "Find out just what any people will quietly submit to and you have found out the exact measure of injustice and wrong which will be imposed upon them." Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
CrazyIvan 0 #9 March 2, 2005 QuoteQuoteThank God I'm no longer in a relationship. Can't handle all that bull shit Amen....to much MF'in drama. Ditto__________________________________________ Blue Skies and May the Force be with you. Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
fireflytx 0 #10 March 2, 2005 IF YOU KICK MY CATS YOU WILL BE IN BIG TROUBLE, MISTER! Spooky and Trixie will definately tell on you."Well behaved women rarely make history" Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
turtlespeed 226 #11 March 2, 2005 QuoteIF YOU KICK MY CATS YOU WILL BE IN BIG TROUBLE, MISTER! Spooky and Trixie will definately tell on you. Hell - they'd walk around with a limp after he leaves - just to get him in trouble.I'm not usually into the whole 3-way thing, but you got me a little excited with that. - Skymama BTR #1 / OTB^5 Official #2 / Hellfish #408 / VSCR #108/Tortuga/Orfun Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
skymama 37 #12 March 2, 2005 QuoteAmen....to much MF'in drama. You guys do realize you can have a relationship without drama, right? You just have to find the right girl!She is Da Man, and you better not mess with Da Man, because she will lay some keepdown on you faster than, well, really fast. ~Billvon Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Brains 2 #13 March 2, 2005 QuoteYou guys do realize you can have a relationship without drama, right? You just have to find the right girl! i used to agree with the others, now i agree with you. Never look down on someone, unless they are going down on you. Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Bouda 0 #14 March 2, 2005 well no matter what there will always be drama in every relationship it all depends on if you are willing to talk about the problem with out yelling. Look what i made at work today mom!! Put it on the fridge http://www.bouda.moonfruit.com Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
OrangeJumper 0 #15 March 2, 2005 QuoteQuoteAmen....to much MF'in drama. You guys do realize you can have a relationship without drama, right? You just have to find the right girl! Skymama, I will pay you to help me find a relationship without drama. On the other hand, my drama meter is very sensitive. The Original Cabana Boy! Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
fireflytx 0 #16 March 2, 2005 QuoteQuoteYou guys do realize you can have a relationship without drama, right? You just have to find the right girl! i used to agree with the others, now i agree with you. "Well behaved women rarely make history" Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
GTAVercetti 0 #17 March 2, 2005 I have no drama.Why yes, my license number is a palindrome. Thank you for noticing. Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
happythoughts 0 #18 March 2, 2005 QuoteYou guys do realize you can have a relationship without drama, right? You just have to find the right girl! Sure, guys realize that. L x S = G G is always a constant number. On a scale of one to ten, rate Looks and Sanity. Looks times Sanity equals your Girlfriend. Guys will sacrifice a little Sanity to get someone a little better looking. Then they deal with the drama from the crazy person and wonder why they are so miserable. Eventually, they get tired of it. As much as women complain about wanting men to like them for "just them", they really complain if they can't attract a certain guy using just their looks. Of course, as I always say, if one sex is doing it, so is the other. Every women has a friend who is dating a good-looking guy who treats them like dirt. Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
OrangeJumper 0 #19 March 2, 2005 Guys will sacrifice a little Sanity to get someone a little better looking. Then they deal with the drama from the crazy person and wonder why they are so miserable. Eventually, they get tired of it. Quote That pretty much sums it up for me The Original Cabana Boy! Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites Bouda 0 #20 March 2, 2005 well i have a beautiful gf that loves me very much and i ask myself everyday how the hell did i pull that off. but she can be a pain in my ass sometimes. but all in all she is worth the trouble Look what i made at work today mom!! Put it on the fridge http://www.bouda.moonfruit.com Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites Thanatos340 1 #21 March 2, 2005 QuoteGuys will sacrifice a little Sanity to get someone a little better looking. Then they deal with the drama from the crazy person and wonder why they are so miserable. Eventually, they get tired of it. And Never Forget that No matter how HOT she is, Some Guy - Some Where is Sick of Putting up with her Shit!! (and of course the same is true for Women) Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites turtlespeed 226 #22 March 2, 2005 and as someones sig line said before - No matter how hot and sexy she is - somewhere - someone is sick of her shit! Something like thatI'm not usually into the whole 3-way thing, but you got me a little excited with that. - Skymama BTR #1 / OTB^5 Official #2 / Hellfish #408 / VSCR #108/Tortuga/Orfun Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites GTAVercetti 0 #23 March 2, 2005 echo.Why yes, my license number is a palindrome. Thank you for noticing. Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites turtlespeed 226 #24 March 2, 2005 Quoteecho. Is it an echo if it is the same time - or is it Stereo?I'm not usually into the whole 3-way thing, but you got me a little excited with that. - Skymama BTR #1 / OTB^5 Official #2 / Hellfish #408 / VSCR #108/Tortuga/Orfun Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites pleifer 0 #25 March 2, 2005 QuoteQuoteAmen....to much MF'in drama. You guys do realize you can have a relationship without drama, right? You just have to find the right girl! Patients is a virtue.... I got my whole life _________________________________________ The Angel of Duh has spoke Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites Prev 1 2 Next Page 1 of 2 Join the conversation You can post now and register later. If you have an account, sign in now to post with your account. Note: Your post will require moderator approval before it will be visible. Reply to this topic... × Pasted as rich text. Paste as plain text instead Only 75 emoji are allowed. × Your link has been automatically embedded. Display as a link instead × Your previous content has been restored. Clear editor × You cannot paste images directly. Upload or insert images from URL. Insert image from URL × Desktop Tablet Phone Submit Reply 0
Bouda 0 #20 March 2, 2005 well i have a beautiful gf that loves me very much and i ask myself everyday how the hell did i pull that off. but she can be a pain in my ass sometimes. but all in all she is worth the trouble Look what i made at work today mom!! Put it on the fridge http://www.bouda.moonfruit.com Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Thanatos340 1 #21 March 2, 2005 QuoteGuys will sacrifice a little Sanity to get someone a little better looking. Then they deal with the drama from the crazy person and wonder why they are so miserable. Eventually, they get tired of it. And Never Forget that No matter how HOT she is, Some Guy - Some Where is Sick of Putting up with her Shit!! (and of course the same is true for Women) Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
turtlespeed 226 #22 March 2, 2005 and as someones sig line said before - No matter how hot and sexy she is - somewhere - someone is sick of her shit! Something like thatI'm not usually into the whole 3-way thing, but you got me a little excited with that. - Skymama BTR #1 / OTB^5 Official #2 / Hellfish #408 / VSCR #108/Tortuga/Orfun Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
GTAVercetti 0 #23 March 2, 2005 echo.Why yes, my license number is a palindrome. Thank you for noticing. Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
turtlespeed 226 #24 March 2, 2005 Quoteecho. Is it an echo if it is the same time - or is it Stereo?I'm not usually into the whole 3-way thing, but you got me a little excited with that. - Skymama BTR #1 / OTB^5 Official #2 / Hellfish #408 / VSCR #108/Tortuga/Orfun Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
pleifer 0 #25 March 2, 2005 QuoteQuoteAmen....to much MF'in drama. You guys do realize you can have a relationship without drama, right? You just have to find the right girl! Patients is a virtue.... I got my whole life _________________________________________ The Angel of Duh has spoke Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
