New Joke

[Gene03 0]

A man took his wife to the rodeo and one of the first exhibits they stopped
at was the breeding bulls. They went up to the first pen and there was a
sign attached that said, "This bull mated 50 times last year." The wife
playfully nudged her husband in the ribs and said, "He mated 50 times last
year."

They walked to the second pen which had a sign attached that said, "This
bull mated 120 times last year. "The wife gave her husband a healthy jab and
said, "That's more than twice a week! You could learn a lot from him."

They walked to the third pen and it had a sign attached that said, in
capital letters, "This bull mated 365 times last year." The wife, so excited
that her elbow nearly broke her husband's ribs, said, "That's once a day.
You could REALLY learn something from this one." The husband looked at her
and said, "Go over and ask him if it was with the same cow."

“The only fool bigger than the person who knows it all is the person who argues with him.

Stanislaw Jerzy Lec quotes (Polish writer, poet and satirist 1906-1966)

[DTOXX 0]

Two bulls, one young and one old, were standing atop a hill overlooking their herd.

Young bull: "Lets run down there and fuck one of those cows."

Old bull: "no"

Young bull: "Come on, lets run down there and fuck one of those cows."

Old bull: "NO"

Young bull :Come on, come on, come on, come on... Lets run down there and fuck one of those cows...."

Old bull: "Why don't we WALK down there and fuck ALL those cows!!!"

-------
D.T. Holder
SIMstudy

[BillyVance 35]

Not exactly in the same genre, but still good for a laugh...

Bless me Father, for I have sinned. I have been with a loose woman."

The priest asks, "Is that you, little Tommy Shaughnessy?"

"Yes, Father, it is." "And, who was the woman you were with?"

"I can't be tellin' you, Father. I don't want to ruin her reputation."

"Well, Tommy, I'm sure to find out sooner or later, so you may as well tell me now, Was it Brenda O'Malley?"

"I cannot say."

"Was it Patricia Kelly?"

"I'll never tell"

"Was it Liz Shannon?"

"I'm sorry, but I can't name her."

"Was it Cathy Morgan?"

"My lips are sealed."

"Was it Fiona McDonald, then?"

"Please, Father, I cannot tell you."

The priest sighs in frustration. "You're a steadfast lad, Tommy Shaughnessy,and I admire that. But you've sinned, and you must atone. You cannot attend church mass for three months. Be off with you now."

Tommy walks back to his pew. His friend Sean slides over and whispers, "What'd you get?"

"Three month's vacation and five good leads!"

"Mediocre people don't like high achievers, and high achievers don't like mediocre people." - SIX TIME National Champion coach Nick Saban

[BillyVance 35]

Another one...

WIFE: "What would you do if I died? Would you get married again?"

HUSBAND: "Definitely not!"

WIFE: "Why not - don't you like being married?"

HUSBAND: "Of course I do."

WIFE: "Then why wouldn't you remarry?"

HUSBAND: "Okay, I'd get married again."

WIFE: "You would?" (With a hurtful look on her face)

HUSBAND: (makes loud groan)

WIFE: "Would you let her sleep in our bed?"

HUSBAND: "Where else would we sleep?"

WIFE: "Would you replace my pictures with hers?"

HUSBAND: "That would seem like the proper thing to do."

WIFE: "Would you play golf with her?"

HUSBAND: "I guess so."

WIFE: "Would you let her use my golf clubs?"

HUSBAND: "No, she's left handed."

WIFE: ---silence--

HUSBAND "Shit."

"Mediocre people don't like high achievers, and high achievers don't like mediocre people." - SIX TIME National Champion coach Nick Saban

[Amanduh 0]

BOTH great! HAHAHAHAHA!!!!!!!!!!!

[Vallerina 2]

There's a thin line between Saturday night and Sunday morning

[Amanduh 0]

WOWA!! HAHAHAA Just now read the 1st joke LMFAO


"Ask if it was with the same cow"

OH GOSH CLASSIC!!

[missg8tordivr 0]

LMAO

***
F LORIDA!