BillyVance 35 #1 March 8, 2005 Why do we press harder on a remote control when we know the batteries are getting weak? Why do banks charge a fee on "insufficient funds" when they know there is not enough? Why does someone believe you when you say there are four billion stars, but check when you say the paint is wet? Why doesn't glue stick to the bottle? Why do they use sterilized needles for death by lethal injection? Why doesn't Tarzan have a beard? Why does Superman stop bullets with his chest, but ducks when you throw a revolver at him? Why do Kamikaze pilots wear helmets? Whose idea was it to put an "S" in the word "lisp"? If people evolved from apes, why are there still apes? Why is it that no matter what color bubble bath you use the bubbles are always white? Is there ever a day that mattresses are not on sale? Why do people constantly return to the refrigerator with hopes that something new to eat will have materialized? Why do people keep running over a string a dozen times with their vacuum cleaner, then reach down, pick it up, examine it, then put it down to give the vacuum one more chance? Why is it that no plastic bag will open from the end you first try? How do those dead bugs get into those enclosed light fixtures? When we are in the supermarket and someone rams our ankle with a shopping cart then apologizes for doing so, why do we say, "It's all right?" Well, it isn't all right so why don't we say, "That hurt, you stupid idiot?" Why is it that whenever you attempt to catch something that's falling off the table you always manage to knock something else over? In winter why do we try to keep the house as warm as it was in summer when we complained about the heat? How come you never hear father-in-law jokes? If at first you don't succeed, shouldn't you try doing it like your wife told you to do it? And obviously if at first you don't succeed, then don't take up sky diving! And my FAVORITE...... The statistics on sanity are that one out of every four persons is suffering from some sort of mental illness. Think of your three best friends, if they're okay, then it's you."Mediocre people don't like high achievers, and high achievers don't like mediocre people." - SIX TIME National Champion coach Nick Saban Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Bouda 0 #2 March 8, 2005 If people evolved from apes, why are there still apes? slow learners Look what i made at work today mom!! Put it on the fridge http://www.bouda.moonfruit.com Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
D22369 0 #3 March 9, 2005 hehheh.... Why is it that no plastic bag will open from the end you first try? *** cause if you actually get the right end it will signall the end of the world......Judgment day will be upon you!!!! royThey say I suffer from insanity.... But I actually enjoy it. Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Ladybug 0 #4 March 9, 2005 Definitely guilty of the "going back to the refrigerator" thing.... and the pantry, and the kitchen cabinets... Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Smeger 0 #5 March 9, 2005 Why is "abbreviation" such a long word? Why do people say "oh mind your head" AFTER you've banged it? If moths are so attracted to the light, why don't you see them during the daytime? Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
masterrig 1 #6 March 9, 2005 What makes Teflon stick to the pan? Chuck Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
turtlespeed 226 #7 March 9, 2005 QuoteWhat makes Teflon stick to the pan? Chuck Teflon GlueI'm not usually into the whole 3-way thing, but you got me a little excited with that. - Skymama BTR #1 / OTB^5 Official #2 / Hellfish #408 / VSCR #108/Tortuga/Orfun Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Bouda 0 #9 March 9, 2005 why is it illegal to shoot a thief in the back after he runs away? Look what i made at work today mom!! Put it on the fridge http://www.bouda.moonfruit.com Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
gjhdiver 0 #10 March 9, 2005 Why do stores that are open 24 hours have locks on the doors ? Why is toilet paper scented ? Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
SpeedRacer 1 #11 March 9, 2005 QuoteIf people evolved from apes, why are there still apes? Not to get this moved to SC, but evolution theory does not state that we evolved from apes. It says that both humans and apes evolved from a common ancestor. (no it wasn't Tarzan) now, is someone going to ask about the summer smog alert thing , where they advise people to stay indoors? (ie.., isn't it the same air indoors as out??) there's an answer for that too. Speed Racer -------------------------------------------------- Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
BillyVance 35 #12 March 9, 2005 QuoteIf moths are so attracted to the light, why don't you see them during the daytime? Because they were attracted to the sun?? [Crazy]"Mediocre people don't like high achievers, and high achievers don't like mediocre people." - SIX TIME National Champion coach Nick Saban Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
masterrig 1 #13 March 9, 2005 I'd answer that one but, I don't want to hi-jack this thread or see it moved to SC. (pssst...according to law, the thief is 'leaving and no longer considered a threat.) Chuck Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
turtlespeed 226 #14 March 9, 2005 Quotewhy is it illegal to shoot a thief in the back after he runs away? Because he is done running away - Why is it illegal to shoot bitchy women?I'm not usually into the whole 3-way thing, but you got me a little excited with that. - Skymama BTR #1 / OTB^5 Official #2 / Hellfish #408 / VSCR #108/Tortuga/Orfun Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Bolas 5 #15 March 9, 2005 QuoteWhy is it illegal to shoot bitchy women? Because genocide is a horrible crime and humans would no longer be able to reproduce. Stupidity if left untreated is self-correcting If ya can't be good, look good, if that fails, make 'em laugh. Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
turtlespeed 226 #16 March 9, 2005 QuoteQuoteWhy is it illegal to shoot bitchy women? Because genocide is a horrible crime and humans would no longer be able to reproduce. Oh. Yeah - Fine - Put up a serious answer I'm not usually into the whole 3-way thing, but you got me a little excited with that. - Skymama BTR #1 / OTB^5 Official #2 / Hellfish #408 / VSCR #108/Tortuga/Orfun Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
