Dating sucks!

[livendive 8]

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Not too long ago, I told a friend that I was really attracted to her. Her response was, "Sorry...not now, not ever." LOL

Ouch. But at least it was clear!

Actually, it wasn't bad at all. I like brutal honesty and can easily laugh about it.

Blues,
Dave

"I AM A PROFESSIONAL EXTREME ATHLETE!"
(drink Mountain Dew)

[unformed 0]

Don't ever tell a girl you like her. Once she knows she can have you she won't be as interested anymore. You want her to think that you are willing to get up and leave for another girl at any moment. That way she has to work harder for you. She might not realize why but she'll much more attracted to you. BUT you can't tell her that you're willing to get up, you have to subtly (sic?) show it, make her not be sure whther you like her or not.

Case in point: This girl likes me, tells me she likes me, even make the first move. Turns out I had a crush on her for years. Excellent. So I tell her I like her too, and try to get her to come out more. Well I stop getting a response. So I stop calling her. Eventually, I call her three weeks later, talk for a few minutes, then instead of asking her out, I ask about her friend. As I hang up, she says "We should go out again." That Saturday, I call to see what's up, and without any effort, she tells me to join her and her sister to a club. easy as pie, much easier than before when I actually tried to get her to come out.

The more a girl likes you, the less you call her, and she'll like you more. It's fucking stupid, it's a retarded game, but that's just how it is.

I've been studying this shit for a little bit now and beginning to understand how the female head works ..... if you want more information about it, send me a pm.

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[Bouda 0]

not dating sucks even more well if you are single

Look what i made at work today mom!! Put it on the fridge
http://www.bouda.moonfruit.com

[livendive 8]

I think there's an element of truth to that, but also a bit of a myth. Either way, I think it's wierd. Personally, if a girl doesn't show enough interest to call, etc, I assume she's not interested and move on.

Blues,
Dave

"I AM A PROFESSIONAL EXTREME ATHLETE!"
(drink Mountain Dew)

[Vallerina 2]

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The more a girl likes you, the less you call her, and she'll like you more. It's fucking stupid, it's a retarded game, but that's just how it is.

If you think games are stupid and retarded, don't play them. You'll end up with others who don't play games.

There's a thin line between Saturday night and Sunday morning

[mouth 0]

If it is just a game for you there is a good reason you aren't with someone. People who play games with other people's feelings should be alone.

I want a guy who isn't playing with my feeling and is willing to openly and honestly develop a relationship. Guess I'm looking for my best friend to be my lover.

--
Hot Mama
At least you know where you stand even if it is in a pile of shit.

[skymama 37]

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The more a girl likes you, the less you call her, and she'll like you more. It's fucking stupid, it's a retarded game, but that's just how it is.

Only the women who like drama in their lives. What are the ages of the women you date anyway?

She is Da Man, and you better not mess with Da Man,
because she will lay some keepdown on you faster than, well, really fast. ~Billvon

[IanHarrop 42]

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Since she's a librarian, she probably is somewhat introverted, right?

Introverted and Librarian do not necessarily go together as I've found out dating one!

"Where troubles melt like lemon drops, away above the chimney tops, that's where you'll find me" Dorothy

[Rebecca 0]

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The more a girl likes you, the less you call her, and she'll like you more. It's fucking stupid, it's a retarded game, but that's just how it is.

Only the women who like drama in their lives. What are the ages of the women you date anyway?

Agreed. These are the games the young girls play, while the world is their oyster, and they don't know nuthin' yet.

The older I get, the more I know myself, the more useless mind games are.

you've got to ask yourself one question: 'Do I feel loquacious?' -- well do you, punk?

[unformed 0]

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The more a girl likes you, the less you call her, and she'll like you more. It's fucking stupid, it's a retarded game, but that's just how it is.

If you think games are stupid and retarded, don't play them. You'll end up with others who don't play games.

See. That's funny. That's what she said, so I decided to be upfront. She asked "What do you think about me?"
I was honest, I said "I really like you. You're cool, you're fun, you're intelligent." all of which is very true. I said "When we first went out, I really wasn't expecting much; I had a crush on you, but didn't really know you. I was pleasantly surprised."

Yeah, that didn't quite work. As I stopped answering my phone, and stopped calling her, I got a much better response.

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If it is just a game for you there is a good reason you aren't with someone. People who play games with other people's feelings should be alone.

I want a guy who isn't playing with my feeling and is willing to openly and honestly develop a relationship. Guess I'm looking for my best friend to be my lover.

See I'm not playing games with feelings. I have never intentionally done anything to hurt her or make her feel worse, or anybody else. I'm not like that.

That's not the game I'm talking about. But being completely straightforward doesn't quite work. There's something attractive about mystery. I don't blame her or anybody else for that, because it's on the subconscious level. As men, though, we just have to learn to be mysterious. I'm not talking about being an asshole, and lying and trying to hurt her; but I am talking about not being vocally honest about everything. Be subtle about it. Women can pick up on a lot more body language than we can, and they can pick up on a lot of things we don't even realize that we're doing. Use that (body language) to make the intentions known; but be vocally honest about it (early on in the relationship), and it kills the mystery, (and hence the attraction).

edit: to clarify a few things, stuff in parentheses

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[skycat 0]

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I think you need to go on an active date where conversation isn't all you have to fall back on, like on dinner dates. That way, if you are involved doing other things, both of you won't feel the stress of coming up with something to say, it will evolve naturally. For example, if you go to a thought-provoking movie (Hotel Ruwanda is a good one that's out), you can discuss that after the movie over drinks or dessert and maybe it will lead into other things. You can do a sport activity which may bring out a whole other side of her. You can go to a bar that has pool or darts where you can talk while playing. Do you see what I mean? Sometimes it's hard to make conversation when you're both just sitting there waiting for your food.

I agree active dates are the way to go, one I like is mini-golf. Lots of chances to "help" eachother out with your swing.

Just because you are better at activities doesn't mean she isn't willing to try them. One of my girlfriends 1st dates with her now husband was snowboarding, she had been once or twice and he has been doing it for years. He ends up taking her down something way hard and she hurts her shoulder on a fall. But the next weekend she was up there with him again, and now she can ride as hard as he does.

Fly it like you stole it!

[unformed 0]

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The more a girl likes you, the less you call her, and she'll like you more. It's fucking stupid, it's a retarded game, but that's just how it is.

Only the women who like drama in their lives. What are the ages of the women you date anyway?

That might be true. I'm just 23, so a few years younger than me. The girl in this case is 21. As I said in another post, though, I don't think it's intentional, as she said herself "I don't like playing games, I'm a rational person, etc, etc.", but I believe a lot of it is subconscious behaviour, not just for women, but for everybody. People don't appreciate what they have; but if there's something they want that they believe they will lose, they'll try to hold on to it a lot more.

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[Vallerina 2]

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But being completely straightforward doesn't quite work. There's something attractive about mystery.

Maybe with her. Once again, if you don't like things like that, then don't date people who do. It's really simple.

Personally, I like it when a guy says something like, "I think you're really cool, and I'm interested." The less bs in my life, the better. We're all different. Some people like games. Most people I know don't. I won't date anyone who does the games crap because I don't want to. Don't make things so complicated on yourself.

There's a thin line between Saturday night and Sunday morning

[unformed 0]

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But being completely straightforward doesn't quite work. There's something attractive about mystery.

Maybe with her. Once again, if you don't like things like that, then don't date people who do. It's really simple.

Personally, I like it when a guy says something like, "I think you're really cool, and I'm interested."

That's different. That's not really saying anything. What if some guy tells you he really likes you?

There's a difference. In the first, he saying "You seem alright; I would like to get to know you better."

In the second he's implying he's already fallen for you. That's what I'm saying don't do.

Being interested in good, liking her before you even know her is bad.

Some men (and women), me included, get emotional way too quickly at times, when we shouldn't be. We need to learn to realize that these are only temporary, and not to bring them up, because it WILL backfire.

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[livendive 8]

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For example, if you go to a thought-provoking movie (Hotel Ruwanda is a good one that's out), you can discuss that after the movie over drinks or dessert and maybe it will lead into other things.

I agree active dates are the way to go, one I like is mini-golf. Lots of chances to "help" eachother out with your swing.

This is so funny. I'm supposed to go out with her again tomorrow night, and I've been trying to decide what to do. I'd narrowed it down to a movie (letting her pick between Hotel Rwanda and Million Dollar Baby) or mini-golf.
Blues,
Dave

"I AM A PROFESSIONAL EXTREME ATHLETE!"
(drink Mountain Dew)

[Orchid 0]

I'm no expert on dating......just my 2 cents. Dating sucks....I totally agreed. I was married for 17 years......divorced/single now for 2....and don't take part much in the dating scene.

People play games too much, I'm not interested in the game playing part.......the way I see it: if you like someone just be yourself and be honest is the best policy....and if that person doesn't like/respond then at least you'll know it's not the right person anyway.

p.s. also, don't try to understand women....you'll give yourself a headache.....

"Love is doing small things with great love."

Lacrosse: Legally beating men with sticks since 1492

[ladyskydiver 0]

What's dating? Explain please.

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That's different. That's not really saying anything. What if some guy tells you he really likes you?

There's a difference. In the first, he saying "You seem alright; I would like to get to know you better."

In the second he's implying he's already fallen for you. That's what I'm saying don't do.

Being interested in good, liking her before you even know her is bad.

Some men (and women), me included, get emotional way too quickly at times, when we shouldn't be. We need to learn to realize that these are only temporary, and not to bring them up, because it WILL backfire.

Since when is saying "I really like you" saying the guy has fallen for you? If a guy were to say that to me, I wouldn't think he had fallen for me...just that he liked me. I take words at their face value and don't look for a deeper meaning in them. If I like someone, I'll tell them. If they get freaked out by my openness, that's their issue.


Of course for me...the perfect situation would be that the man I end up with is not only my lover but also my best friend.

Life is short! Break the rules! Forgive quickly! Kiss slowly! Love truly, Laugh uncontrollably. And never regret anything that made you smile.

[livendive 8]

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I take words at their face value and don't look for a deeper meaning in them.

You're about to get your woman card suspended!

Blues,
Dave

"I AM A PROFESSIONAL EXTREME ATHLETE!"
(drink Mountain Dew)

[missg8tordivr 0]

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....People play games too much,...

I would have to agree with you there. I really don't like playing games. If you like someone you tell them, or let them know in some way. If the feelings are not mutual, move on. However, that doesn't mean you can't be friends if he/she doesn't feel the same. One sided relationships never work out.

A very wise women told me once..'if it was ment to be, it will happen.' I truely believe that...thanks mom

*J

***
F LORIDA!

[ladyskydiver 0]

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I take words at their face value and don't look for a deeper meaning in them.

You're about to get your woman card suspended!

Blues,
Dave

Yeah...I know. Oh, well...things could always be worse.

Life is short! Break the rules! Forgive quickly! Kiss slowly! Love truly, Laugh uncontrollably. And never regret anything that made you smile.

[skymama 37]

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I'd narrowed it down to a movie (letting her pick between Hotel Rwanda and Million Dollar Baby) or mini-golf.

Either of those sounds good. Where would you go afterwards to wind down?

She is Da Man, and you better not mess with Da Man,
because she will lay some keepdown on you faster than, well, really fast. ~Billvon

[Vallerina 2]

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That's different. That's not really saying anything. What if some guy tells you he really likes you?

There's a difference. In the first, he saying "You seem alright; I would like to get to know you better."

In the second he's implying he's already fallen for you. That's what I'm saying don't do.

Being interested in good, liking her before you even know her is bad.

Some men (and women), me included, get emotional way too quickly at times, when we shouldn't be. We need to learn to realize that these are only temporary, and not to bring them up, because it WILL backfire.

Damn....I don't know of anyone who overanalyzes stuff like that.

Really, dating isn't all that difficult. Don't read into everything, and do what comes naturally (as long as you are respecting the other person.)

There's a thin line between Saturday night and Sunday morning

[Beeron 0]

Lately, I just feel like I'm over the whole dating/relationship thing....it seems like a lot of effort that I just don't care to expend anymore.

Sadly, I feel like I ultimately end up sacrificing a part of who I truly am in order to maintain the relationship.

So, basically I've concluded that I am perfectly content being by myself, doing what I want to do, when I want to do it. Sure, it's lonely at times....but for me, I feel its best in the long run.

B~

[livendive 8]

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I'd narrowed it down to a movie (letting her pick between Hotel Rwanda and Million Dollar Baby) or mini-golf.

Either of those sounds good. Where would you go afterwards to wind down?

Haven't thought that far ahead, hell, I don't even know if we're still on. An ice cream parlor sounds over the top corny. Given that we drank wine the first two dates, maybe coffee, even though I don't usually drink it at night, (at least not if I want to get any sleep that night). Then again, getting her drunk and letting her take advantage of me doesn't sound like a bad idea either, so maybe a bar.

Blues,
Dave

Edit to add: Hey, this is by far the most replied to thread I've ever posted. Just how many freaking replies does a thread need to get the little flaming icon thing?!!

"I AM A PROFESSIONAL EXTREME ATHLETE!"
(drink Mountain Dew)

[unformed 0]

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I'd narrowed it down to a movie (letting her pick between Hotel Rwanda and Million Dollar Baby) or mini-golf.

Either of those sounds good. Where would you go afterwards to wind down?

Haven't thought that far ahead, hell, I don't even know if we're still on. An ice cream parlor sounds over the top corny.

Ha, definitely go for the putt-putt cuz it'll be much more fun for both of you, and I was actually gonna add to that, go get some ice cream or something. I think it'd be a good unexpected, simply enjoy-it-for-the-moment kinda thing, and it'll bring back memories of being a kid. then you can go do whatever else.

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