livendive 8 #1 March 8, 2005 I've been out on 2 dates now with this gal, once to a winery for a few glasses and a cheese platter, the other time for dinner. She's young, cute, short, smart, and funny, and her job as a librarian has serious fantasy potential. "SSHHhhhhhh!!" The thing is, I feel like a complete fish out of water. I'm trying to remember the last time I "dated" a woman who I wasn't already friends with, and I'm drawing a complete blank. It has to have been at least 10 years, maybe more. The difference in approach is huge! With someone I'm friends with, we already know each other, when the other is joking, what each other likes, what freaks each other out, etc. A stranger is an entirely different ball of wax. I have absolutely no idea what is an appropriate level of communication (e.g. where the line is between ignoring her and scaring her off), nor how to approach any of the awkward moments of a date, e.g. saying goodbye...to kiss or not to kiss, and plenty of other things. Anyhow, I'm so good at so many things, I figured I ought to fess up when I find something I suck at. Blues, Dave"I AM A PROFESSIONAL EXTREME ATHLETE!" (drink Mountain Dew) Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
windcatcher 0 #2 March 8, 2005 nooooooooo, dating is soooooooooooo much fun! Loving every minute of it...hey, don't worry man! If things get too confusing, you can always ask her about things. Mother to the cutest little thing in the world... Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Rebecca 0 #3 March 8, 2005 Yeah, I always hated 'dating'. That's why I rarely did it. Unless I hit it off immediately with someone, it was always more pressured and awkward than comfortable. Going out with someone you've already gotten to know is much more fun. you've got to ask yourself one question: 'Do I feel loquacious?' -- well do you, punk? Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Vallerina 2 #4 March 8, 2005 QuoteYeah, I always hated 'dating'. That's why I rarely did it. Unless I hit it off immediately with someone, it was always more pressured and awkward than comfortable. Agreed!There's a thin line between Saturday night and Sunday morning Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Rebecca 0 #5 March 8, 2005 QuoteQuoteYeah, I always hated 'dating'. That's why I rarely did it. Unless I hit it off immediately with someone, it was always more pressured and awkward than comfortable. Agreed! KISS!!! (I'm Irishish too) you've got to ask yourself one question: 'Do I feel loquacious?' -- well do you, punk? Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Slappie 9 #6 March 8, 2005 QuoteQuoteYeah, I always hated 'dating'. That's why I rarely did it. Unless I hit it off immediately with someone, it was always more pressured and awkward than comfortable. Agreed! I agree also. I hated dating. Calling an escort service is much easier. j/k bout the escorts. "Find out just what any people will quietly submit to and you have found out the exact measure of injustice and wrong which will be imposed upon them." Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Vallerina 2 #7 March 8, 2005 Quote KISS!!! (I'm Irishish too) Irish chicks are hot! [insert kissy icon here]There's a thin line between Saturday night and Sunday morning Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Slappie 9 #8 March 8, 2005 What about Irish guys? I'm Irish too!! Demmit all about the chicks!! "Find out just what any people will quietly submit to and you have found out the exact measure of injustice and wrong which will be imposed upon them." Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
NWFlyer 2 #9 March 8, 2005 That's why I'm a big fan of getting to know someone as friends first and letting that tension build. But then I always seem to stay in the friends zone, so maybe I'm not any better at this than you ... Remember, it's supposed to be fun!"There is only one basic human right, the right to do as you damn well please. And with it comes the only basic human duty, the duty to take the consequences." -P.J. O'Rourke Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Vallerina 2 #10 March 8, 2005 QuoteWhat about Irish guys? I'm Irish too!! Demmit all about the chicks!! Irish guys are sooooo sexy! Sorry for the hijack! Dating still sucks! There's a thin line between Saturday night and Sunday morning Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Slappie 9 #11 March 8, 2005 QuoteQuoteWhat about Irish guys? I'm Irish too!! Demmit all about the chicks!! Irish guys are sooooo sexy! *melt* "Find out just what any people will quietly submit to and you have found out the exact measure of injustice and wrong which will be imposed upon them." Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
missg8tordivr 0 #12 March 8, 2005 I have had that same problem with going out on dates. I am a shy person when I am around people that I really don't know well. When I get around my friends, I am not as quiet. So, when I am put in a situation with someone I like, I tend to crawl back in my shell. I forget about the standard questions, and I just get nervous. I have been told that I am quiet all my life, but I am consistantly working on that. So, can't really give you any advice.... except for trying to get a feel about things to disclose to her by going on more dates. Hopefully some of these replys will clarify things for me too.*** F LORIDA! Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
windcatcher 0 #13 March 8, 2005 I am not a big fan of casual dating...hooking up, breaking up, hooking up, breaking up...like a bunch of mini-divorces happening all the time Dating can be fun if you find someone you really like, other than that I don't like to date a whole lot Mother to the cutest little thing in the world... Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Dougiefresh 0 #14 March 8, 2005 QuoteQuoteYeah, I always hated 'dating'. That's why I rarely did it. Unless I hit it off immediately with someone, it was always more pressured and awkward than comfortable. Agreed! Thirded. It's gotta be organic.Human beings, who are almost unique in having the ability to learn from the experience of others, are also remarkable for their apparent disinclination to do so. --Douglas Adams Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
livendive 8 #15 March 8, 2005 QuoteI have had that same problem with going out on dates. I am a shy person when I am around people that I really don't know well. When I get around my friends, I am not as quiet. So, when I am put in a situation with someone I like, I tend to crawl back in my shell. I forget about the standard questions, and I just get nervous. I am a far cry from quiet around my friends...boisterous is an understatement in that regard, and I have no qualms about "crossing the line" in that setting. But in this kind of situation, acting out seems kind of inappropriate, and I don't know what a complete stranger will be offended by, so I end up acting pretty reserved. QuoteSo, can't really give you any advice.... except for trying to get a feel about things to disclose to her by going on more dates. Hopefully some of these replys will clarify things for me too. I don't think I have a problem disclosing things...I'm one of the most open people I've ever met and will give just about anyone an honest answer to any question they ask. My problem is a) getting her to ask questions and b) thinking of what questions to ask her/getting her to open up, so that I develop a feel for what's cool and what's not. Blues, Dave"I AM A PROFESSIONAL EXTREME ATHLETE!" (drink Mountain Dew) Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
RevJim 0 #16 March 8, 2005 Have fun with it Dave. It's dating, not courtship to find the next Ex. Mrs. Dave! The only right and wrong answers are the ones you find together. Oh, yea, library + doin' the deed..... NEED VIDEO! Others: I'm Irish too, but if a kiss is attempted, you might find a 5'1/4" Blond woman invading your personal space. Painfully. Gawd, I love my wife! It's your life, live it! Karma RB#684 "Corcho", ASK#60, Muff#3520, NCB#398, NHDZ#4, C-33989, DG#1 Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
skymama 37 #17 March 8, 2005 I think you need to go on an active date where conversation isn't all you have to fall back on, like on dinner dates. That way, if you are involved doing other things, both of you won't feel the stress of coming up with something to say, it will evolve naturally. For example, if you go to a thought-provoking movie (Hotel Ruwanda is a good one that's out), you can discuss that after the movie over drinks or dessert and maybe it will lead into other things. You can do a sport activity which may bring out a whole other side of her. You can go to a bar that has pool or darts where you can talk while playing. Do you see what I mean? Sometimes it's hard to make conversation when you're both just sitting there waiting for your food.She is Da Man, and you better not mess with Da Man, because she will lay some keepdown on you faster than, well, really fast. ~Billvon Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
linny 1 #18 March 8, 2005 Leykis 101 That's what you need Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
ChrisL 2 #19 March 8, 2005 You are WAY overthinking this dude. Just relax and have fun. __ My mighty steed Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
freeflir29 0 #20 March 8, 2005 QuoteBut then I always seem to stay in the friends zone, so maybe I'm not any better at this than you .. That's my problem. I'm also a bit gunshy now since I have gotten the SMACK DOWN once or twice when trying to make the jump from friends to "How YOU doin?" Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
IanHarrop 42 #21 March 8, 2005 I can relate to this one! I was married for 16 years, single for 2 , met a woman at the dropzone... a LIBRARIAN. Good looking, smart, fun BUT was it scary to start dating again -- YOU BET IT WAS! We've been together now for about a year and a half."Where troubles melt like lemon drops, away above the chimney tops, that's where you'll find me" Dorothy Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
livendive 8 #22 March 8, 2005 QuoteThat's my problem. I'm also a bit gunshy now since I have gotten the SMACK DOWN once or twice when trying to make the jump from friends to "How YOU doin?" Not too long ago, I told a friend that I was really attracted to her. Her response was, "Sorry...not now, not ever." LOL Blues, Dave"I AM A PROFESSIONAL EXTREME ATHLETE!" (drink Mountain Dew) Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
NWFlyer 2 #23 March 8, 2005 QuoteNot too long ago, I told a friend that I was really attracted to her. Her response was, "Sorry...not now, not ever." LOL Ouch. But at least it was clear! Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Frenchy68 0 #24 March 8, 2005 QuoteNot too long ago, I told a friend that I was really attracted to her. Her response was, "Sorry...not now, not ever." LOL Wrong approach. Something a little more subtle, in the lines of "I wanna take you right here on the kitchen table" is a sure winner. "For once you have tasted Absinthe you will walk the earth with your eyes turned towards the gutter, for there you have been and there you will long to return." Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Gforce 0 #25 March 8, 2005 Since she's a librarian, she probably is somewhat introverted, right? I'm guessing here. Anyway, just give her a lot more wine and let her take advantage of you. I haven't seen it yet, but I think the movie "Hitch" addresses some of this. Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
