BillyVance 35 #1 March 29, 2005 If this doesn't make you laugh, nothing will! Baked Beans Once upon a time, there lived a man, AggieDave, who had a maddening passion for baked beans. He loved them but unfortunately, they had always had an embarrassing and somewhat lively reaction to him. Then one day AggieDave met a woman and fell in love. When it became apparent that they would marry, he thought to himself, "She is such a sweet and gentle woman, she would never go for this carrying on." He made the supreme sacrifice and gave up beans. Some months later his truck broke down on the way home from work. Since he lived in the country he called his fiancee and told her that he would be late because he had to walk home. On his way, he passed a small diner and the odor of the baked beans was more than he could stand. Since he still had miles to walk, he figured that he would walk off any ill effects by the time he reached home. So, he stopped at the diner and before he knew it, he had consumed 3 large orders of baked beans. All the way home he putt-putted, and upon arriving home he felt reasonably sure he could control it. His fiancee seemed excited to see him and exclaimed delightedly, "Darling, I have a surprise for dinner tonight." She then blindfolded him and led him to his chair at the table. He seated himself and just as she was about to remove the blindfold from her fiance AggieDave, the telephone rang. She made him promise not to touch the blindfold until she returned. She then went to answer the telephone. The baked beans AggieDave had consumed were still affecting him and the pressure was becoming almost unbearable, so while his fiancee was out of the room he seized the opportunity, shifted his weight to one leg and let it go. It was not only loud, but it smelled like a fertilizer truck running over a skunk in front of a pulpwood mill. He raised his hands and fanned the air around him vigorously. Then he shifted to the other cheek and ripped three more, which reminded him of cooked cabbage. Keeping his ears tuned to the conversation in the other room, he went on like this for another ten minutes. When the phone farewells signaled the end of his freedom, he fanned the air a few more times with his hands, then laid them down on his lap, smiling contentedly to himself. He was the picture of innocence when his fiancee returned, apologizing for taking so long, she asked him if he peeked, and he assured her that he had not. At this point, she removed the blindfold, and he was dumbstruck! There sat twelve dinner guests around the table to wish him a "Happy Birthday"! Now if all 12 dinner guests had been fellow skydivers, there's not a damn chance in hell of all of them managing to stifle their laughs (or coughs)during the whole ordeal before AggieDave's blindfold comes off! Happy Birthday AggieDave! Hope you enjoyed this one! "Mediocre people don't like high achievers, and high achievers don't like mediocre people." - SIX TIME National Champion coach Nick Saban Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
AggieDave 6 #2 March 29, 2005 Man, that was awesome! Kind of follows a story line that would possibly happen in my life. I really needed the laugh to, thank you very much.--"When I die, may I be surrounded by scattered chrome and burning gasoline." Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
skysprite 0 #3 March 29, 2005 Love it! I realize there is another Happy B-Day Dave thread, but I'm going to leave my happy birthday wishes here. Happy Birthday Dave! ~skysprite Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
