f1freak 0 #1 April 5, 2005 April 5th 1985, I was 13 years old. I can’t remember what exact time it was. It was very early in the morning. I remember waking up to the phone ringing. I could hear my mom saying “hello… hello… Mom hello….” over and over. Then I guess the line would go dead and after a minute or so it would happen again. I heard my mom get out of bed and go to the kitchen. Then she said “OH MY GOD!!!! It’s your mom and dad” to my dad. (Growing up I lived right next door to my grandma and grandpa. Their house was my second home. Growing up my grandma was a lunch lady at my school, and my grandpa and I always hung out. He was with out a doubt my best friend.) I could hear my dad rushing to get his jacket and stuff on. I remember this kind of panicky feeling. I was trying not to listen to what my mom was saying, but it wasn’t working. She said that the person on the phone kept saying “Dad’s Dead, Dad’s Dead”. I heard the door shut when my Dad left the house. It felt like time stood still. Then the phone rang again. I remember my mom crying and hanging up then calling 911. I will never forget that call, “My husband’s father has hung himself, and He can’t get him down”. That night 20 years ago my best friend killed himself, that night just will not leave me. It changed me. Why would I want to let myself get that close to anything, you never know when you will get hurt again. I am sick of acting that way now. I don’t want to push people away. For years I have used drink and drugs to “Not think about what I was doing” and it’s hurt the ones I love to many times. I just needed a way to vent tonight. It’s a tough one for me So, thanks for listeningHAVE FUN... ...JUST DONT DIE Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
flyangel2 2 #2 April 5, 2005 Death is never easy. Hang in there.May your trails be crooked, winding, lonesome, dangerous, leading to the most amazing view. May your mountains rise into and above the clouds. - Edward Abbey Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
jonstark 8 #3 April 5, 2005 Keep talkin man! Get someone on the phone tonight! jon Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
pleifer 0 #4 April 5, 2005 Loss for words, But vent as needed, we are here _________________________________________ The Angel of Duh has spoke Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
BillyVance 35 #5 April 5, 2005 Better late than never, to vent... 20 years is a long time... then again, how can anybody forget something like that? it's almost like remembering where you were when JFK was shot, or Reagan was shot, when the space shuttle Challenger blew up, or watching the fucking bastards fly those planes into the WTC on live TV on 9/11/01... We're always here, pal..."Mediocre people don't like high achievers, and high achievers don't like mediocre people." - SIX TIME National Champion coach Nick Saban Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
ACMESkydiver 0 #6 April 5, 2005 Wow. Hey take care of yourself...and thank God you've recognized that hurting yourself is hurting others. It takes a strong character to own up to that, and an even stronger one to change it. I believe in you though, stay strong buddy. You're cyber-space friends are here for you. Get some people near you to help; professionally and otherwise. You will need some extra 'heart' nearby, I'm thinkin'...~Jaye Do not believe that possibly you can escape the reward of your action. Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
