How Many Dogs Does It Take to Change A Light Bulb?

[Darius11 12]

1. Golden Retriever:
The sun is shining, the day is young, we've got our whole lives ahead of us, and you're inside worrying about a stupid burned out bulb?

2. Border Collie:
Just one. And then I'll replace any wiring that's not up to code.

3. Dachshund:
You know I can't reach that stupid lamp!

4. Rottweiler:
Make me.

5. Boxer:
Who cares? I can still play with my squeaky toys in the dark.

6. Lab:
Oh, me, me!!!!! Pleeeeeeeeeze let me change the light bulb! Can I? Can I? Huh? Huh? Huh? Can I? Pleeeeeeeeeze, please, please, please!

7. German Shepherd:
I'll change it as soon as I've led these people from the dark, check to make sure I haven't missed any, and make just one more perimeter patrol to see that no one has tried to take advantage of the situation.

8. Jack Russell Terrier:
I'll just pop it in while I'm bouncing off the walls and furniture.

9. Old English Sheep Dog:
Light bulb? I'm sorry, but I don't see a light bulb?

10. Cocker Spaniel:
Why change it? I can still pee on the carpet in the dark.

11. Chihuahua:
Yo quiero Taco Bulb.

12. Pointer:
I see it, there it is, there it is, right there ...

13. Greyhound:
It isn't moving. Who cares?

14. New Zealand Sheep Dog:
First, I'll put all the light bulbs in a little circle...

15. Poodle:
I'll just blow in the Border Collie's ear and he'll do it. By the time he finishes rewiring the house, my nails will be dry.

The Cat's Answer:
"Dogs do not change light bulbs. People change light bulbs. So, the real question is: How long will it be before I can expect some light, some dinner, and a massage?"

ALL OF WHICH PROVES, ONCE AGAIN, THAT WHILE DOGS HAVE MASTERS, CATS HAVE STAFF.

What is a Cat?

1. Cats do what they want.
2. They rarely listen to you.
3. They're totally unpredictable.
4. When you want to play, they want to be alone.
5. When you want to be alone, they want to play.
6. They expect you to cater to their every whim.
7. They're moody.
8. They leave hair everywhere.

CONCLUSION: They're tiny women in little fur coats.

What is a Dog?

1. Dogs spend all day sprawled on the most comfortable piece of furniture in the house.
2. They can hear a package of food opening half a block away, but don't hear you when you're in the same room.
3. They can look dumb and lovable all at the same time.
4. They growl when they are not happy.
5. When you want to play, they want to play.
6. When you want to be alone, they want to play.
7. They leave their toys everywhere.
8. They do disgusting things with their mouths and then try to give you a kiss.
9. They go right for your crotch as soon as they meet you.

CONCLUSION: They're tiny men in little fur coats

I'd rather be hated for who I am, than loved for who I am not." - Kurt Cobain

[Buried 0]

i believe that this is a repost

*edit link - http://www.dropzone.com/cgi-bin/forum/gforum.cgi?post=1487955;search_string=1.%20Golden%20Retriever%3A%20;#1487955

Where is my fizzy-lifting drink?

[Darius11 12]

hey this part is new

What is a Dog?

1. Dogs spend all day sprawled on the most comfortable piece of furniture in the house.
2. They can hear a package of food opening half a block away, but don't hear you when you're in the same room.
3. They can look dumb and lovable all at the same time.
4. They growl when they are not happy.
5. When you want to play, they want to play.
6. When you want to be alone, they want to play.
7. They leave their toys everywhere.
8. They do disgusting things with their mouths and then try to give you a kiss.
9. They go right for your crotch as soon as they meet you.


who are you any way Ivan

Will not bad for once in 2.5 years of being here

I'd rather be hated for who I am, than loved for who I am not." - Kurt Cobain

[kingbunky 3]

i love it!

"Hang on a sec, the young'uns are throwin' beer cans at a golf cart."
MB4252 TDS699
killing threads since 2001

[Buried 0]

Quote

who are you any way Ivan

he's my hero

Where is my fizzy-lifting drink?

[Darius11 12]

Where is he any way? i have not seen him around and when i posted this i had a feeling he would have finally got me.

I'd rather be hated for who I am, than loved for who I am not." - Kurt Cobain

[Buried 0]

dunno. I guess i'm his fill-in

Where is my fizzy-lifting drink?

[Katzeye 0]

You forgot

16. Doberman - I can sleep on the couch in the dark, just fine thankyouverymuch.

And as a Rottie owner - TOO TRUE!

Is a chicken omelette redundant?

[Rebecca 0]

Here's one:

How many Freudians does it take to screw in a lightbulb?

3.

One to screw it in, and two to cock about - I mean talk about it.

you've got to ask yourself one question: 'Do I feel loquacious?' -- well do you, punk?

[kelel01 1]

Wanna hear the greatest Freudian slip ever?

"You know, when I first started skydiving, I thought cutaways were really CONDOM".

Yes, I said that. Mocha was there and can corroborate.

[GeordieSkydiver 0]

17. Husky. Screw the lightbulb. I'm gonna chew the sofa, the table and the rug, then I'm gonna escape out the window and eat next doors cat.

When you return I'll be lying on the sofa all innocent.

Lee _______________________________

In a world full of people, only some want to fly, is that not crazy?
http://www.ukskydiver.co.uk

[skycat 0]

Quote

17. Husky. Screw the lightbulb. I'm gonna chew the sofa, the table and the rug, then I'm gonna escape out the window and eat next doors cat.

When you return I'll be lying on the sofa all innocent.

Change that to
17. Husky. Screw the lightbulb. If it's dark you can't see me chew the sofa, the table and the rug, escape out the window and eat next doors cat. By the time the Lab has it screwed in I'll be lying on the sofa all innocent

Fly it like you stole it!

[ffejdraga 0]

You know, just when I was thinking "Damn this thread is just begging to be hijacked", there you were Kelly, right on time, without a beat missed. Good job!!

jeff D-16906

[GeordieSkydiver 0]

You know it.

Lee _______________________________

In a world full of people, only some want to fly, is that not crazy?
http://www.ukskydiver.co.uk

[kingbunky 3]

Quote

Quote

17. Husky. Screw the lightbulb. I'm gonna chew the sofa, the table and the rug, then I'm gonna escape out the window and eat next doors cat.

When you return I'll be lying on the sofa all innocent.

Change that to
17. Husky. Screw the lightbulb. If it's dark you can't see me chew the sofa, the table and the rug, escape out the window and eat next doors cat. By the time the Lab has it screwed in I'll be lying on the sofa all innocent

one more additiona and i think we have it...
17. Husky. Screw the lightbulb. If it's dark you can't see me chew the sofa, the table and the rug, escape out the window and eat next doors cat. By the time the Lab has it screwed in I'll be lying on the sofa all innocent and nobody will ever know it was me that broke the bulb in the first place.

"Hang on a sec, the young'uns are throwin' beer cans at a golf cart."
MB4252 TDS699
killing threads since 2001

[Darius11 12]

hey shouldn't you be flying something?

I'd rather be hated for who I am, than loved for who I am not." - Kurt Cobain

[Rebecca 0]

Miniature Schnauzer: I could just reach up and change it, considering my massive size, but I'm gonna go push the Rottie around instead...

you've got to ask yourself one question: 'Do I feel loquacious?' -- well do you, punk?

[DrunkMonkey 0]

English Bulldog: "Ya bastard! Ya know I'm too damn short to change the lightbulb! Screw you! I'll intimidate the cat into doing it."

[ffejdraga 0]

yeah man,
I just landed so I could bust you a little. Back off to the wild blue yonder!

jeff D-16906

[ccowden 0]

My Dalmatian:

Change the lightbulb? Ok. Ooooo, stick! What's that smell? Is that my ball over there? Bird! Ok, gotta pee on this bush. Ooooo, stick!

[Darius11 12]

Be safe and have fun brother

I'd rather be hated for who I am, than loved for who I am not." - Kurt Cobain

[ffejdraga 0]

Yeah man, of course. (both)

jeff D-16906

[kelel01 1]

Hey, man, I do what I can. Let no good thread go unhijacked.