Tax Jokes

[boinky 0]

In honor of tomorrow being the final day to submit your taxes, I found this on Joke A Day.

Tax Jokes from “Late Night TV”
Submitted By D. Kurtzman

"We ought to thank President Bush. He made it a lot easier for people to do taxes this year. No job, no income tax this year." —Jay Leno

"Earlier today, the White House released President Bush's tax return. Not surprisingly, under dependents, the president listed Iraq."
—Conan O'Brien

"President Bush released his tax returns yesterday. He listed the economy as a liability. He gets to write that off."
—Jay Leno

"Technically, you're not paying taxes. According to the Bush administration, your bank account is being liberated."
—Jay Leno

"Today the IRS gave some guidelines on how to avoid getting audited. Number one, don't list deductions that will raise a red flag. Number two, make sure you file on time. Number three, don't make any stupid anti-war speech at the Academy Awards."
—Jay Leno

"The IRS now says you can deduct weight loss plans off your taxes. You can write it off because the government has officially declared obesity a disease. And it's a disease, you can deduct medical expenses. That shows what a difference an administration can make. See under Bush, obesity is a disease. Under Clinton it was just sexy."
—Jay Leno

"Monday, April 15th, taxes are due. I just don't pay them. Yeah, this year Arthur Anderson did my taxes, I'm getting $6 billion back."
—Conan O'Brien

"Yesterday the IRS announced that obese Americans are entitled to certain tax breaks. Apparently, under the new rules, you're allowed to claim two or more chins as dependents."
—Conan O'Brien

"If your accountant is Arthur Anderson ... today is the last day you could have your tax documents shredded by April 15th."
—David Letterman

"I hate to be the one to remind you, but just pretty soon it is going to be April 15th, it is going to be tax time. You know what I am saying? Are you ready? Well you know when something like this happens New Yorkers always try to put the best face they can on a situation. For example the hookers in Times Square, for an extra $50 they will handle your extension."
—David Letterman
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Nina

Are we called "DAWGs" because we stick our noses up people's butts? (RIP Buzz)
Yep, you're a postwhore-billyvance

[BillyVance 35]

Good ones!

Have anybody ever written a check to the IRS to pay their tax bill, and wrote "CHOKE ON THIS!" on the line just left of the signature line?

I did that once years back... and no, nothing bad ever happened to me... I must be special...

"Mediocre people don't like high achievers, and high achievers don't like mediocre people." - SIX TIME National Champion coach Nick Saban

[skysprite 0]

Quote

Good ones!

Have anybody ever written a check to the IRS to pay their tax bill, and wrote "CHOKE ON THIS!" on the line just left of the signature line?

I did that once years back... and no, nothing bad ever happened to me... I must be special...

lol! Did you ever get anything back from them about that? Did you owe significantly more taxes the next year?

~skysprite

[unformed 0]

Don't worry. I work for the IRS. We have your name on a list. Just when you think we've forgotten about you, BAM!, you're going down, ol' buddy.

This ad space for sale.

[BillyVance 35]

Quote

Have anybody ever written a check to the IRS to pay their tax bill, and wrote "CHOKE ON THIS!" on the line just left of the signature line?

I did that once years back... and no, nothing bad ever happened to me... I must be special...

lol! Did you ever get anything back from them about that? Did you owe significantly more taxes the next year?

[christoofar 0]

Quote

Don't worry. I work for the IRS. We have your name on a list. Just when you think we've forgotten about you, BAM!, you're going down, ol' buddy.

I've worked at H&R Block's corporate offices for a number of years, t'was my first real job. Oh how I loathed dealing with that crap.

What's worse is the people who get RALs that KNOW the IRS is going to withhold the refund and get a loan anyway, then the IRS doesn't pay and then they owe the refund amount PLUS fees to the underwriting bank and come back to ME to pay it (yeah, right! read the loan app)...

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I'm RICK JAMES! Fo shizzle.