Married Bliss

[BillyVance 35]

Married Bliss........................

A couple had only been married for two weeks. The husband, although very much in love, couldn't wait to go out on the town and party with his old buddies. So, he said to his new wife, "Honey, I'll be ! right back." Where are you going, Coochy Coo?" asked the wife. "I'm going to the bar, Pretty Face. I'm going to have a beer."

The wife said, "You want a beer, my love?" She opened the door to the refrigerator and showed him 25 different kinds of beer, brands from 12 different countries: Germany, Holland, Japan, India, etc. The husband didn't know what to do, and the only thing that he could think of saying was, "Yes, Lollipop... but at the bar... you know... they have frozen glasses... "

He didn't get to finish the sentence, because the wife interrupted him by saying, "You want a frozen glass, Puppy Face?" She took a huge beer mug out of the freezer, so frozen that she was getting chills just holding it.

The husband, looking a bit pale, said, "Yes, Tootsie Roll, but at the bar they have those hors d'oeuvres that are really delicious... I won't be long. I'll be right back. I promise. OK?" "You want hors d'oeuvres, Poochie Pooh?" She opened the oven and took out 5 dishes of different hors d oeuvres: chicken wings, pigs in blankets, mushroom caps, and pork strips. "But my sweet honey... at the bar.... you know... there's swearing, dirty words and all that..."

"You want dirty words, Cutie Pie?... "LISTEN UP DICKHEAD! SIT DOWN, SHUT THE FUCK UP, DRINK YOUR DAMN BEER IN YOUR DAMN FROZEN MUG AND EAT YOUR FUCKING HORS D'OEUVRES BECAUSE YOUR MARRIED ASS ISN'T GOING TO A FUCKING BAR! THAT SHIT IS OVER...GOT IT, ASSHOLE?"

And, they lived happily ever after. Isn t that a sweet story?

"Mediocre people don't like high achievers, and high achievers don't like mediocre people." - SIX TIME National Champion coach Nick Saban

[swedishcelt 0]

Baby talk is gross.
He should have divorced her for that alone.
Plus, IMO after about 2 weeks of alone time,
any woman WANTS to be alone and send her SO to the bar.
As long as looking isn't touching she is grateful for some me time.
Besides, then she can blackmail him with it later for sexual favors.

[antifnsocial 0]

Quote

Baby talk is gross.
He should have divorced her for that alone.
Plus, IMO after about 2 weeks of alone time,
any woman WANTS to be alone and send her SO to the bar.
As long as looking isn't touching she is grateful for some me time.
Besides, then she can blackmail him with it later for sexual favors.

ROFLMAO- You're so right. But SSSHHHHH, you're not supposed to tell men all our mean little secrets or they'll take notes and use it against us. Haven't you heard there is a war between sexes?
Although I agree that baby talk is gross and should be punished. Ew.
Not even good sex would make me talk like that.

Please feel free to reply to my posts and pm's, but only if you're smart enough to understand what they really mean.

[swedishcelt 0]

I wouldn't call it a war. I am just anti-babytalk.

[Bolas 5]

Quote

But SSSHHHHH, you're not supposed to tell men all our mean little secrets or they'll take notes and use it against us. Haven't you heard there is a war between sexes?

Yeah, we'll take notes on relationships about the time we read a map or stop for directions when lost.

As for the war, women have much better intel on us than we do on them.

Stupidity if left untreated is self-correcting
If ya can't be good, look good, if that fails, make 'em laugh.