Calling in sick to work

[sdctlc 0]

I dont care if this is a re-post, it made me laugh... Ivan come and get me because even if it is I plead that this deserved a "Bump"....


> > Calling in sick to work makes me uncomfortable. No matter how
> > legitimate my excuse, I always get the feeling that my boss thinks
> > I'm lying. On one recent occasion, I had a valid reason but lied
> > anyway, because the truth was just too darned humiliating. I simply
> > mentioned that I had sustained a head injury, and I hoped I would
> > feel up to coming in the next day. By then, I reasoned, I could think
> > up a doozy to explain the bandage on the top of my head. The accident
> > occurred mainly because I had given in to my wife's wishes to adopt a
cute little kitty. Initially, the new acquisition was no problem.

> > Then one morning, I was taking my shower after breakfast when I heard
> > my wife, Deb, call out to me from the kitchen. "Honey! The garbage
> > disposal is dead again. Please come reset it." "You know where the
> > button is," I protested through the shower pitter-patter and steam.
> > "Reset it yourself!"

> > "But I'm scared!" she persisted. "What if it starts going and sucks
> > me in?" There was a meaningful pause and then, "C'mon, it'll only
> > take you a second."

> > So out I came, dripping wet and buck naked, hoping that my silent
> > outraged nudity would make a statement about how I perceived her
> > behavior as extremely cowardly. Sighing loudly, I squatted down and
> > stuck my head under the sink to find the button. It is the last
> > action I remember performing. It struck without warning, and without
> > any respect to my circumstances. No, it wasn't the hexed disposal,
> > drawing me into its gnashing metal teeth. It was our new kitty, who
> > discovered the fascinating dangling objects

> > she spied hanging between my legs. She had been poised around the
> > corner and stalked me as I reached under the sink. And, at the
> > precise moment when I was most vulnerable, she leapt at the toys I
> > unwittingly offered and snagged them with her needle-like claws.

> > I lost all rational thought to control orderly bodily movements,
> > blindly rising at a violent rate of speed, with the full weight of a
> > kitten hanging from my masculine region. Wild animals are sometimes
> > faced with a fight or flight syndrome. Men, in this predicament,
> > choose only the "flight" option. I know this from experience. I was
> > fleeing straight up into the air when the sink and cabinet bluntly
> > and forcefully impeded my ascent. The impact knocked me out cold.

> > When I awoke, my wife and the paramedics stood over me. Now there are
> > not many things in this life worse than finding oneself lying on the
> > kitchen floor buck naked in front of a group of "been-here,
> > done-that" paramedics. Even worse, having been fully briefed by my
> > wife, the paramedics were all snorting loudly as they tried to
> > conduct their work, all the while trying to suppress their hysterical
> > laughter.... and not succeeding. Somehow I lived through it all.

> > A few days later I finally made it back in to the office, where
> > colleagues tried to coax an explanation out of me about my head
> > injury. I kept silent, claiming it was too painful to talk about.
> > Which it was. "What's the matter?" They all asked, "Cat got your
> > tongue?" If they only knew!

"He who Hesitates Shall Inherit the Earth!"

[Cudlo 0]

OUCH!!! Thats gonna leave a mark...

_________________________________________
"People demand freedom of speech to make up for the freedom of thought which they avoid." - Kierkegaard

[ltdiver 3]

*Bump*
A good story never dies. Just got this same story in an e-mail today.

Perhaps because it is late at night here, but this story got me laughing out loud...

ltdiver

Don't tell me the sky's the limit when there are footprints on the moon

[skysprite 0]

Classic, love it!

~skysprite