BillyVance 35 #1 May 6, 2005 Hey, I'm a good husband, so don't flame me, guys... HUSBANDS One day my housework-challenged husband decided to wash his sweatshirt. Seconds after he stepped into the laundry room, he shouted to me, "What setting do I use on the washing machine?" "It depends," I replied. "What does it say on your shirt?" He yelled back, " University of Iowa." And they say blondes are dumb . . . --------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- A couple is lying in bed. The man says, "I am going to make you the happiest woman in the world." The woman says, "I'll miss you..." --------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- "It's just too hot to wear clothes today," Jack says as he stepped out of the shower, "honey, what do you think the neighbors would think if I mowed the lawn like this?" "Probably that I married you for your money," she replied. ------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- He said - Since I first laid eyes on you, I have wanted to make love to you really badly. She said - Well, you succeeded. ------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- He said - What have you been doing with all the grocery money I gave you? She said - Turn sideways and look in the mirror. ---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- Q: What do you call an intelligent, good looking, sensitive man? A: A rumor ---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- A man and his wife, now in their 60's, were celebrating their 40th wedding anniversary. On their special day a good fairy came to them and said that because hey had been such a devoted couple she would grant each of them a very special wish. The wife wished for a trip around the world with her husband. Whoosh! Immediately she had airline/cruise tickets in her hands. The man wished for a female companion 30 years younger... Whoosh...immediately he turned ninety! Gotta love that fairy! --------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- A PRAYER.... Dear Lord, I pray for Wisdom to understand my man; Love to forgive him, and Patience for his moods, Because, Lord, if I pray for Strength, I'll beat him to death. Amen"Mediocre people don't like high achievers, and high achievers don't like mediocre people." - SIX TIME National Champion coach Nick Saban Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
