Tidbits & A Joke

[boinky 0]

The Magician

There was a magician who had a job on a cruise liner, entertaining the passengers with a nightly show. He was very successful in his job and there was always a full house at all his performances. Life was sweet. The money was rolling in, he had one of the best cabins, ate the best food, mixed with the best people. All was fine until one day the captain bought a parrot.

The highlight of the parrot's day was going along to see the magician in action in the evening. During the magician's performances, the parrot would watch him very carefully during each trick, and immediately after the magician had completed the trick the parrot would call out in a loud squawk, "It's up his sleeve, it's up his sleeve," or, "It's down his trousers, it's down his trousers," each time ruining the magician's trick.

Well life was no longer as sweet and the magician started to struggle to satisfy the passengers. The magician naturally got very tired of the parrot and longed to kill it. Then one night in the middle of the magician's performances, the ship hit an iceberg and sank. Everyone was killed except for the magician and the parrot. The magician managed to swim to a piece of wreckage, climbed aboard and collapsed. The parrot flew towards the magician and perched on the edge of the raft and stared at the magician. For a whole day the magician was unconscious, and all this time the parrot did not take his eyes off him. Eventually the magician started to stir, and looked up not really knowing where he was or what had happened. He eventually found enough energy to sit up. He then noticed the parrot, who had not stopped focusing his eyes on him all this time. "Alright already, I give up....." chirped the parrot, ".....what have you done with the ship?"

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* On average, 80 people shoot at the Goodyear blimp each year.

*A monkey was once tried and convicted for smoking a cigarette in South Bend, Indiana.

*The last stagecoach holdup took place in Tennessee on October 15, 1882.

*A psychology student in New York rented out her spare room to a carpenter in order to nag him constantly and study his reactions. After weeks of needling, he snapped and beat her repeatedly with an axe leaving her mentally retarded.

*In 1978 a man charged with murder escaped from the custody of the Irish police. The Garda Press Office, issued a statement to the effect that, 'He is no more dangerous than any other murderer.'

*A Texan convicted of robbery worked out a deal to pay $9600 in damages rather than serve a two-year prison sentence. For payment, he gave the court a forged check. He got his prison term back, plus eight more years.

Nina

Are we called "DAWGs" because we stick our noses up people's butts? (RIP Buzz)
Yep, you're a postwhore-billyvance