beezyshaw 0 #1 June 13, 2005 One day a blonde was riding on an airplane. There was a loud noise that came from outside the plane. The captain came on the intercom, "Attention passengers, we just lost one of our engines; but don't worry, the other three engines will keep us up. Also, we will arrive at our destination about an hour behind schedule." Half an hour later, another loud noise sounded from outside the plane. The captain once again came on the intercom, "Attention passengers, do not be alarmed. We lost another engine, but the other two will still keep us flying. We will arrive at our destination about three hours late." After the captain said this, the blonde leaned over to the passenger next to her and said, "If those other two engines go out, we'll be up here forever." Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
airtwardo 7 #2 June 13, 2005 While she was "flying" down the road yesterday, a woman passes over a bridge only to find a cop with a radar gun on the other side laying in wait. The cop pulled her over, walked up to the car, and with the classic patronizing smirk we all know and love asked, "What's your hurry?" To which she replied, "I'm late for work." "Oh yeah," said the cop, "what do you do?" "I'm a rectum stretcher." She responded The cop stammered, "A rectum stretcher? And just what does a rectum stretcher do?" "Well," she said, "I start by inserting just one finger, then I work my way up to two fingers, then three, then four, then with my whole hand in, I work from side to side until I can get both hands in, and then I slowly but surely stretch until it's about 6 feet wide" "And just what do you do with a 6 foot asshole?" he asked. "You give him a radar gun and park him behind a bridge..." was her reply. Traffic Ticket: $95.00 Court Costs: $45.00 The Look on the Cop's Face: PRICELESS!! ~ If you choke a Smurf, what color does it turn? ~ Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Salsa_John 0 #3 June 13, 2005 "You give him a radar gun and park him behind a bridge..." was her reply. That is way too funny! "You did what?!?!" MUFF #3722, TDSM #72, Orfun #26, Nachos Rodriguez Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
panzwami 0 #4 June 13, 2005 One day a blonde boarded a plane for her flight to Los Angeles. Although she only had a coach ticket, she walked to the front of the plane and sat down in first class. When the flight attendant told her that she didn't have a first class ticket and needed to move, she replied "I'm blonde, I'm beautiful, and I deserve to sit in first class." At this the flight attendant went and explained the situation to the captain. The captain thought for a second and said "Wait here, I'll take care of this." He walked back to where the blonde lady was sitting and said something to her, and sure enough, she got up and moved to her seat in coach. The flight attendant was dumbfounded and asked the captain what he had said to her. "Simple," he said. "I just told her that first class was not going to Los Angeles." Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
