jumpergirl 0 #1 June 30, 2005 A guy walks into a bar with his pet monkey and orders a drink . While he's drinking, the monkey starts jumping all over the place. The monkey grabs some olives off the bar and eats them, then grabs some sliced limes and eats them, then jumps up on the pool table, grabs the cue ball, sticks it in his mouth and swallows it whole. The bartender screams at the guy, "Did you see what your monkey just did?" The guy says, "No, what?" "He just ate the cue ball off my pool table - whole!" says the bartender. "Yeah, that doesn't surprise me," replies the patron. "He eats everything in sight, the little jerk. I'll pay for the cue ball and stuff." He finishes his drink, pays his bill, and leaves. Two weeks later he's in the bar again, and he has his monkey with him. He orders a drink and the monkey starts running around the bar again. While the man is drinking, the monkey finds a maraschino cherry on the bar. He grabs it, sticks it up his butt, pulls it out, and eats it. The bartender is disgusted. "Did you see what your monkey did now?" "Now what?" asks the patron. "Well, he stuck a maraschino cherry up his butt, then pulled it out and ate it!" says the barkeeper. "Yeah, that doesn't surprise me," replies the patron. "He still eats everything in sight, but ever since he ate that cue ball he measures everything first!" Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Peej 0 #2 June 30, 2005 That's still one of my favourite jokes...and a couple other people's too.. http://www.dropzone.com/cgi-bin/forum/gforum.cgi?post=1335065;search_string=Monkey%20bar%20cue%20ball;#1335065 http://www.dropzone.com/cgi-bin/forum/gforum.cgi?post=104233;search_string=Monkey%20bar%20cue%20ball;#104233 http://www.dropzone.com/cgi-bin/forum/gforum.cgi?post=20131;search_string=Monkey%20bar%20cue%20ball;#20131 Advertisio Rodriguez / Sky Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
jumpergirl 0 #3 June 30, 2005 OOPS! I'd never heard that one before and didn't think to search for it!! Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Peej 0 #5 June 30, 2005 No worries, i crack up every time i read it! Advertisio Rodriguez / Sky Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
jumpergirl 0 #6 June 30, 2005 I forwarded it to my brother. He just replied and said he remembers hearing that joke in junior high!! I think that was about 10 years ago. Dammit... I'm way behind. Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
beezyshaw 0 #7 June 30, 2005 Here's one about being on welfare... A guy walks into the local welfare office, marches straight up to the counter and says, "Hi... You know, I just HATE drawing welfare. I'd really rather have a job." The social worker behind the counter says, "Your timing is excellent. We just got a job opening from a very wealthy old man who wants a chauffeur / bodyguard for his nymphomaniac daughter. You'll have to drive around in his Mercedes, but he'll supply all of your clothes. Because of the long hours, meals will be provided. You'll be expected to escort her on her overseas holiday trips. You will have to satisfy her sexual urges. You'll have a two-bedroom apartment above the garage. The starting salary is $200,000 a year". The guy says, "You're bullshittin' me!" The social worker says, "Yeah, well, you started it." Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Peej 0 #8 June 30, 2005 QuoteI forwarded it to my brother. He just replied and said he remembers hearing that joke in junior high!! I think that was about 10 years ago. Dammit... I'm way behind. Advertisio Rodriguez / Sky Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Peej 0 #9 June 30, 2005 Nice one Beezy! Advertisio Rodriguez / Sky Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
