caspar 0 #1 August 11, 2005 hey guys, im at work bored off my nuts. i do inbound telesales and i havent had a call for 40 mins. PLEASE tell me some jokes!!! i'll start with my classic favorite... what's the similarity between a prawn and a woman??? their heads are full of sh*t but the pink bits taste good! (sorry ladies )"When I read about the evils of drinking, I gave up reading." Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
valcore 0 #2 August 11, 2005 A few of my Favorites... The Marines were backing-up LAPD on a call that someone had broken into a store. At the scene, the cop told the Marines to "cover" him as he approched the store (to police, "cover" means to point your weapons in the direction of the threat, to Marines it means lay down a base of fire!). The Marines promptly laid down a base of fire. The Marines fired 178 rounds before they stopped shooting. The thief, probably a little scared at this point, called 911 and reported, "They're shooting at me!". The most terrifying words in the English language are: ‘I'm from the government and I'm here to help’. ~Ronald Reagan 30,000,000 legal firearm owners killed no one yesterday. Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
ifall 0 #3 August 11, 2005 Two West Texas farmers, Jim and Bob, are sitting at their favorite bar, drinking beer. Jim turns to Bob and says, "You know, I'm tired of goin' through life without an education. Tomorrow, I think I'll go to the Community College and sign up for some classes." Bob thinks that's a good idea, and the two leave. The next day Jim goes to the college and meets the dean of admissions, who signs him up for four classes: math, English, history, and logic. "Logic?" Jim says, "What's that?" The dean says, "I'll show you. Do you own a weed-eater?" "Yeah." "Then logically because you own a weed-eater, you must have a yard." "That's true, I do have a yard." "I'm not done," the dean says. "Because you have a yard, you must have a house." "Yes, I do have a house." "And because you have a house, you probably have a family." "I have a family." "I'm not done yet. Because you have a family, then logically you must have a wife." "Yes, I do have a wife." "And because you have a wife, then you must be a heterosexual." "I am a heterosexual. That's amazing. You were able to find out all of that because I have a weed-eater." Excited to take the class now, Jim shakes the dean's hand and leaves to meet Bob at the bar. He tells Bob about his classes, how he is signed up for math, English, history and logic. "Logic?" Bob says, "What's that?" Jim says, "I'll show you. Do you have a weed-eater?" "No." "Then you're gay." Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
