You guys have got this comin to ya...

[ChrisL 2]

A sheriff goes into a saloon and the whole bar goes into hushed tones. He
walks up to the bar and orders a whiskey from a very scared barman.

"What can I do for you sheriff?" stammered the barman.

The lawman spits on the floor, looks up, and from under the brim of his
hat, in a growling voice says, "I'm lookin' for an outlaw
name of Brown Paper Pete".

The barman looks puzzled and says,"Well what's he look like, Sheriff?"

The lawman gulps down his whiskey and replies in a low, gravelly voice,
"He wears a brown paper hat, brown paper waistcoat, brown paper trousers,
has brown paper guns and rides a brown paper horse."

The barman says "I don't remember a man like that - what' he wanted for?"

After a short silence the lawman growls


"He's wanted...


for rustlin"

__

My mighty steed

[Ashtanga 0]

I don't get it.

[Rebecca 0]

Lucky!


That was bad!

you've got to ask yourself one question: 'Do I feel loquacious?' -- well do you, punk?

[Ashtanga 0]

Quote

Lucky!

Xplain to me Rebecca.

[Girlfalldown 0]

Ya gotta love a good clean joke every now and then.

--------------

(Do not, I repeat DO NOT, take my posts seriously.)

[ChrisL 2]

Quote

Quote

Lucky!

Xplain to me Rebecca.

Well with all that br... oh never mind

__

My mighty steed

[Rebecca 0]

Quote

Quote

Lucky!

Xplain to me Rebecca.

Go crumple a paper bag. Listen to what it sounds like.

you've got to ask yourself one question: 'Do I feel loquacious?' -- well do you, punk?

[ChrisL 2]

Quote

Ya gotta love a good clean joke every now and then.

And as a nice counterpoint...


Hank can't achieve an erection so he goes to the doctor.

The doctor tells him the muscles at the base of his penis are broken down and there's
nothing he can do unless he's willing to try an experimental surgery.

Hank asks what the surgery involves and the doctor tells him they take the
muscles from the base of a baby elephant's trunk, insert them in the base
of his penis, and hope for the best.

Hank says that sounds pretty scary but the thought of never having sex again is even
scarier, so he says OK.

The doctor goes ahead and performs the surgery and about 6 weeks
later the gives Hank the go ahead to "try out his new equipment".

Hank takes his wife out to dinner. While at dinner Hank starts feeling incredible
pressure in his pants. It soon becomes almost unbearable and he figures no one can
see him so he undoes his pants. No sooner does he do this his penis pops out
of his pants, rolls across the table, grabs a dinner roll, and disappears
back into his pants.

His wife sits in shock for a few moments, and then gets a sly look on
her face.
"Say," she says, "that was pretty damn cool! Can you do that again?"

With his eyes watering and a painful look on his face, Hank says,
"Probably, but I don't know if I can fit another dinner roll up my ass."

__

My mighty steed

[yardhippie 0]

omg. my cube neighbors are wanting to know what the hell im doing in here.

that was funny.

Goddam dirty hippies piss me off! ~GFD
"What do I get for closing your rig?" ~ me
"Anything you want." ~ female skydiver
Mohoso Rodriguez #865

[Ashtanga 0]

Quote

Go crumple a paper bag. Listen to what it sounds like.

Crunch...Crunch...Crunch......?

[ChrisL 2]

Quote

Quote

Go crumple a paper bag. Listen to what it sounds like.

Crunch...Crunch...Crunch......?

OK now you've gone too far!

__

My mighty steed

[Ashtanga 0]

I googled it. Rustlin' is when you steal cattle. It is also the sound of a paper bag. I get it now.

[Knobee 0]

A couple of months after a horrible divorce, a man discovers that his penis has begun to turn orange.

He goes to the doctor to find out why.. they run tests... nothing... they research... nothing... the penis continues to turn brighter and brighter orange.

Finally, the doctor decides that it must be an environmental issue. He begins a full check on the man's behavior..

Doctor: "so, what do you do in the evenings"

Patient: "Oh, not much, mostly sit around, watch porn and eat cheetos".

Those that have not jumped can not understand
Those that have jumped can not explain.

[GARYC24 3]

A guy gets pulled over by the cops.
Asked for license and registration.
He asks the cop why he pulled him over.
The cop replies, I couldn't help noticing how you banged your fist against the steering wheel when that old lady was crossing the crosswalk very slowly. Also, how you waved your fist at the car in front of you that slowed down as the light turned yellow.
Then I noticed the fish symbol on your bumper and figured the car was stolen.