The Woustache

[GTAVercetti 0]

Here is a blog I wrote a while ago. I saw a horrible woustache today so I though I would post this and maybe get some answers...or piss people off...whatever:


The moustache. It is a valid choice for SOME men. Done properly, it can be quite imposing. Done improperly and you look like my dad in the 70's with his silly Fu-manchu. But we all make mistakes. In anycase, the moustache is not inherently evil. BUT...attach it to the face of a woman and you reveal the evil, insidious WOUSTACHE!!!

I am amazed with what I see when I walk around town. Some women obviously don't care. They walk around with nearly a full blown 'stache, oblivious to the fact that they have a small animal growing under their noses. I once saw a women with a moustache AND a beard. Well, good for her. She finally got that lumber jack thing working for her. Maybe it is a style choice. A cultural choice. Whatever. That I can accept. You want to wear a moustache because you don't think you have to shave...fine. I just find it very unattractive.

So, you have those women: The bold and brazen who just don't give a fuck. Cool. I respect those who don't give a fuck. But then you have the others. The deceptive, sneaky ones. These are the women who do not possess the ulmighty power of a full moustache but they certainly have more than peach fuzz. The hair is darker than peach fuzz. Oh, it may only be a few hairs so they think they can get by without maintenance. WELL THEY ARE WRONG! We see it. We know about it. And for the most part, we don't like it. Other sly women may dye more growth to blend it in with their skin. To any girls who do this: STOP! The hair is still there. We can still see it. And it is not JUST the look we abhor. It is also the feel. If I wanted to kiss a man, I would go gay.

The bad thing about facial hair on women is that it is a very sore subject. With a man, anyone can go up to him and tell him he needs to shave. No feelings get hurt. Unless, of course, the guy is a big pussy. But there is simply no easy way to tell a girl to shave. They take it as a personal assault. And I think that stems from society's conception of hair. Men have body hair; women do not. Well, wake up society. Women DO have body hair.

I can hear it now. All sorts of arguments. "We already shave our legs and our armpits. What more do you want?" Well, since many women already spend quite a bit of time doing this as well as makeup, tanning, waxing, body treatments, eye brow plucking, and the like, that little area above you lip is not going to take too much longer. Or perhaps, "Guys don't always shave their face, why should we?" And to that I say, don't. You don't want to shave, then don't. But don't go trying to hide it by bleaching. Wear your woustache proudly dammit. And then I can see the argument that I am giving a very guy-oriented point of view. Well, that is true. Cause I am a guy. And as a guy, I don't like facial hair on women. If that makes me a chauvanist pig, well then oink oink

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I follow this up with this: The main culprits of this phenomenon on those who are very particular about grooming. There is one girl I know that insists that bald private parts are the only way to go and is grossed out by anything more...and yet she has a woustache.

WHY?!?!

Why yes, my license number is a palindrome. Thank you for noticing.

[Elisha 1]

On some web page/blog/message board/whatever, someone was saying that a mustache for a man looks gay. I disagree, but it CAN make a man look gay. It just depends on the guy.

[SpeedRacer 1]

It's kinda weird that the adult world is acting like kids did in junior high, where they say everything is gay.

How can gay men own moustaches? that's just weird.

Then they have the whole bullshit "metro-sexual" thing going on. If you are a man who likes good food or wine or good grooming, or knows how to dress well, or whatever, you're acting gay. See, it's just like being in junior high again.

whose idea was it that gay men own all of those things?

Speed Racer
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[kelel01 1]

I don't know . . . but a moustache AIN'T gay . . . it's the most anti-gay thing ever, I think. Well, unless it's part of a goatee.

[GTAVercetti 0]

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It's kinda weird that the adult world is acting like kids did in junior high, where they say everything is gay.

How can gay men own moustaches? that's just weird.

Then they have the whole bullshit "metro-sexual" thing going on. If you are a man who likes good food or wine or good grooming, or knows how to dress well, or whatever, you're acting gay. See, it's just like being in junior high again.

whose idea was it that gay men own all of those things?

Just about every one of my gay friends. They all dress better, have better manners, and use more sophisticated hair products than I (I use none). It is a stereotype for certain, but stereotypes are often based in reality. I like good food, love to cook, and I enjoy wine but my gay friends totally outclass me in that stuff most of the time.

I think the moustache got the gay rap from the "gay biker bar" sterotype (think the Blue Oyster in Police Academy )

Why yes, my license number is a palindrome. Thank you for noticing.

[Rebecca 0]

Yeah! Why do they get the corner on good grooming?!

I feel SO bad for chicks with lip hair. And I have NO idea why I would ever even see it. There's DIY wax kits, and it's not a difficult area or anything... but a little bit of fuzz that needs a bit of bleach is no big deal. I mean, us straight chicks kiss you guys' scruffy, scrapy, cheese-grater faces - what's the big deal with a bit of soft-as-down fuzz?

Here's another question: do lesbians who prefer the butch look get more or less turned on by a full butch-beard?

you've got to ask yourself one question: 'Do I feel loquacious?' -- well do you, punk?

[ChrisL 2]

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I don't know . . . but a moustache AIN'T gay . . . it's the most anti-gay thing ever, I think. Well, unless it's part of a goatee.

A mustache cant be part of a goatee.

A goatee, commonly confused with a Van Dyke, is ONLY chin whiskers. No mustache.

The combination of chin and upper lip whiskers with clean shaven cheeks (such as you see in my avatar) is called a Van Dyke.
You may recognise this form as a Goatee but its not. Thats just a very common misconception.

So you see, a mustache cant be part of a goatee. The instant you add one it ceases to be a Goatee

Edited to add: Oh yeah, and I'm not gay

__

My mighty steed

[kelel01 1]

Well, then I go back to "a moustache ain't gay" . . . no way, no how.

[Rebecca 0]

But what about the lesbians?

you've got to ask yourself one question: 'Do I feel loquacious?' -- well do you, punk?

[kelel01 1]

Please? Won't someone think of the lesbians?!

[waltappel 1]

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How can gay men own moustaches? that's just weird.

It's like the old joke:

Q: Why do gay guys have moustaches?

A: To hide the stretchmarks!

Walt

[ChrisL 2]

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But what about the lesbians?

I cant comment. In point of fact my sister is gay, however she doesnt have a mustache or beard of any variety, nor does her SO

__

My mighty steed

[Elisha 1]

Ooooohhh.

[VanillaSkyGirl 6]

What about women with unibrows?

[Rebecca 0]

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But what about the lesbians?

I cant comment. In point of fact my sister is gay, however she doesnt have a mustache or beard of any variety, nor does her SO

Are they more 'butch' or more 'femme'? Do they have butch friends who might comment?

Seriously, I'm getting curious. There are some gay women out there who style themselves so much like men, you can hardly tell the difference. Would a natural moustache be a bonus to those perferring that look?

you've got to ask yourself one question: 'Do I feel loquacious?' -- well do you, punk?

[kelel01 1]

I have a problem with ANYONE having a unibrow.

[Rebecca 0]

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I have a problem with ANYONE having a unibrow.

UNLESS they're dressed up as Bert for Halloween. Then it's OK.

you've got to ask yourself one question: 'Do I feel loquacious?' -- well do you, punk?

[ChrisL 2]

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What about women with unibrows?

Depends if they are gay or not

__

My mighty steed

[kelel01 1]

Even then, I might run at them with a pot of hot wax.

[Rebecca 0]

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Even then, I might run at them with a pot of hot wax.

LOL!! I'm picturing it now! "Hold 'im down, boys! We're havin' us a brow-ectomy!!"

you've got to ask yourself one question: 'Do I feel loquacious?' -- well do you, punk?

[waltappel 1]

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Ooooohhh.

Ok, since you're egging me on:

Q: Why do Italian men grow moustaches?

A: So they can look more like their mothers!

Walt

[ChrisL 2]

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Seriously, I'm getting curious. There are some gay women out there who style themselves so much like men, you can hardly tell the difference. Would a natural moustache be a bonus to those perferring that look?

Butch. Short hair, no makeup, flannel shirts, jeans, and boots.

My Dad rather insensitively nicknamed her girlfriend "Paul Bunyan".
Of course we all thought that was absolutely hilarious.
It was so damn funny even my sister was in hysterics over it. Of course she never told her girlfriend about it.

My sister has a sense of humor about herself.

Still no facial hair though.

__

My mighty steed

[VanillaSkyGirl 6]

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Even then, I might run at them with a pot of hot wax.

I know exactly how you feel, Kel! I've fought the urge to hold down a total stranger and tweeze that person's unibrow!

An intervention is definitely needed for people sporting unibrows..

[waltappel 1]

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Even then, I might run at them with a pot of hot wax.

I know exactly how you feel, Kel! I've fought the urge to hold down a total stranger and tweeze that person's unibrow!

An intervention is definitely needed for people sporting unibrows..

I can deal with the facial hair thing, but facial moles drive me nuts. Like when I see Cindy Crawford on TV that stupid looking mole above her upper lip makes me want to latch on to it with a pair of Vice Grips and rip it off. Ok, maybe not that bad, but they are tough to look at.

Walt

[GTAVercetti 0]

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What about women with unibrows?

unibrows -- in any form -- are teh suck.

Why yes, my license number is a palindrome. Thank you for noticing.