Rebecca 0 #1 September 28, 2005 I'm a wimp, but I'm trying to be more assertive. Today, as I was wending my way through a strip mall parking lot, this guy in a van was backing out of his spot - fast. I saw him, he saw me, we both avoided each other. As I looked back in the sideview mirror, I saw him gesturing angrily towards me. This pissed me off. I hit the brakes, backed up, opened my door and leaned out. I gave him instructions in sign language: YOU! WATCH!! ME!! Then I drove off. I felt good about it. I wasn't mean, I stood up for myself, but I didn't put myself in a position to be punched or run over. Most of the time, I let things go without a word, and then think about what I shoulda coulda woulda done... and that sucks. I'm starting on the non-handicapped-handicap-spot parkers and the 20-items-in-the-10-items-or-less-line standers next. you've got to ask yourself one question: 'Do I feel loquacious?' -- well do you, punk? Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
BillyVance 35 #2 September 28, 2005 Very good! Nice job. "Mediocre people don't like high achievers, and high achievers don't like mediocre people." - SIX TIME National Champion coach Nick Saban Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
gmittar 0 #3 September 28, 2005 Road Rage is dumb, try to be intelligently assertive |>.<| Seriously, W.T.F. mate? Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
NWFlyer 2 #4 September 28, 2005 I'm more prone to let the little things go and safe my anger for the really important stuff. I dunno... that's just me, and while stuff like getting cut off in parking lots and people in the wrong line is annoying, I don't find it worth anger. The one case where I do react is when drivers don't respect crosswalks. I've always done this, but I'm particularly vehement since I got hit by a car as a pedestrian (while crossing in the crosswalk with the walk signal) and spent 6 days in the hospital and months rehabbing. One of my favorite phrases is "Crosswalk, asshole" when they don't stop."There is only one basic human right, the right to do as you damn well please. And with it comes the only basic human duty, the duty to take the consequences." -P.J. O'Rourke Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Rebecca 0 #5 September 28, 2005 QuoteRoad Rage is dumb, try to be intelligently assertive So, are you saying I was road ragin'? 'Cause I agree with your statement, and I was trying to be intelligently assertive... you've got to ask yourself one question: 'Do I feel loquacious?' -- well do you, punk? Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Ashtanga 0 #6 September 28, 2005 I just kissed you, again. Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
gmittar 0 #7 September 28, 2005 QuoteQuoteRoad Rage is dumb, try to be intelligently assertive So, are you saying I was road ragin'? 'Cause I agree with your statement, and I was trying to be intelligently assertive... Reacting to road rage is fueling road rage. There's really no safe way other than to let it go. Although, I guess I wasn't totally clear on what you did, so maybe it was ok. But if the car I had just cusses out backed up and the person leaned out the window, it would make very little difference what they yelled/said to me. Edit: I've been chased around my neighborhood for less than this, buy a car full of gang bangers. I also understand that you're from Texas, like NM I think lots of people in TX have guns in their cars. |>.<| Seriously, W.T.F. mate? Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Rebecca 0 #8 September 28, 2005 QuoteI just kissed you, again. Ah, that's where that drool stain came from... Mua! you've got to ask yourself one question: 'Do I feel loquacious?' -- well do you, punk? Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
droquette 0 #9 September 28, 2005 i am sure you felt better BUT... in my opinion it was a waste of 5 seconds of your life... what did you get out of it? life is too short to waste on assholes like that guy... just my $.02HISPA 72 ----- "Muff Brother" 3733 Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Rebecca 0 #10 September 28, 2005 I reacted to him blaming me for the avoided accident. I was where I was supposed to be, at about 10 mph. He almost hit me by not looking carefully in a tightly spaced parking lot, and backing - no lurching - out of his spot much faster than a reasonable "easing out" speed. It was quick. I wanted him to know HE was in the wrong, so I did. I know it's a little thing, not even worth a reaction. I guess I'm just getting fed up with ALL the little things everyday that people do out of a complete disregard for the little rules that were put in place to keep society from turning into an utter charlie foxtrot. you've got to ask yourself one question: 'Do I feel loquacious?' -- well do you, punk? Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
popsjumper 2 #11 September 28, 2005 Quote...I'm starting on the non-handicapped-handicap-spot parkers... I have a handicapped sister and this is a biggie for me...My reality and yours are quite different. I think we're all Bozos on this bus. Falcon5232, SCS8170, SCSA353, POPS9398, DS239 Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
jumpchikk 0 #12 September 28, 2005 Quote As I looked back in the sideview mirror, I saw him gesturing angrily towards me. This pissed me off. I normally just shake my head and laugh at people like that. It's not worth it. When you laugh or when you ignore people, it tends to piss them off even more. Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
NWFlyer 2 #13 September 28, 2005 QuoteQuote...I'm starting on the non-handicapped-handicap-spot parkers... I have a handicapped sister and this is a biggie for me... Just to make sure ... are you reacting to people who lack the proper permits to park in handicapped spots? Or just to people who don't appear to be disabled? Yes, there's a *lot* of abuse of these spots and the associated permits and people who do that make my skin crawl. But remember that the disability *may* not be obvious and I'd hate to see someone get bitched at whose disability is legitimate but not obvious."There is only one basic human right, the right to do as you damn well please. And with it comes the only basic human duty, the duty to take the consequences." -P.J. O'Rourke Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Rebecca 0 #14 September 28, 2005 Quotei am sure you felt better BUT... in my opinion it was a waste of 5 seconds of your life... what did you get out of it? life is too short to waste on assholes like that guy... just my $.02 I got out of the "woulda coulda shoulda" routine. By the way, let me just state for the record: I am a hypocrite. I am absolutely sure I flout the rules too. I'm trying to be better though. you've got to ask yourself one question: 'Do I feel loquacious?' -- well do you, punk? Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Rebecca 0 #15 September 28, 2005 I'm talking about those blue hanging signs that fully able-bodied people borrow from their not-so-able relative, just to avoid walking a few extra steps. If you can hop out of your car and be-bop into Walgreens with all the energy and vigor in the world, you don't need to take a space that a wheelchair accessible van would otherwise need. Don't worry, I don't just blindly assume that if they can walk they're not disabled... But if a person really needs to park there for their health, a brisk energetic stride is a bit suspicious... you've got to ask yourself one question: 'Do I feel loquacious?' -- well do you, punk? Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Scoop 0 #16 September 28, 2005 I work for Police in UK, this is a sleepy area and I definately wouldnt go shouting at people. There are some nutters out there! Maybe its my distorted image of TX, but hell, I wouldnt even be making eye contact! A school teacher of ours got chased out of a street once, turned wrong way and ended up on somenes 'patch' Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
popsjumper 2 #17 September 28, 2005 Quote...Just to make sure ... are you reacting to people who lack the proper permits to park in handicapped spots? Or just to people who don't appear to be disabled? ... No sign or plate, cops called. Have a sign or plate? You will be questioned if you appear to be of good health. Can't justify? Cops will be called. Even then, the sticker borrowers are the shits... It's for the physically handicapped, not the mental ones. My reality and yours are quite different. I think we're all Bozos on this bus. Falcon5232, SCS8170, SCSA353, POPS9398, DS239 Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Rebecca 0 #18 September 28, 2005 I didn't shout. I used sign language. Point to him, point to my eyes, point to me. Have a nice day, Mr. Van Driver. you've got to ask yourself one question: 'Do I feel loquacious?' -- well do you, punk? Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
justinb138 0 #19 September 28, 2005 QuoteI work for Police in UK, this is a sleepy area and I definately wouldnt go shouting at people. There are some nutters out there! Maybe its my distorted image of TX, but hell, I wouldnt even be making eye contact! A school teacher of ours got chased out of a street once, turned wrong way and ended up on somenes 'patch' Eh, most parts of TX ain't that bad, hell I've lived here for all of my life and never seen someone with a gun outside of their house or a gun range. If you get too far away from the city there's plenty of trigger-happy rednecks though. Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
waltappel 1 #20 September 28, 2005 IMO that wasn't being assertive, it was venting anger and was a bad idea. Why get upset at something so trivial? No damage was done. Who cares what the guy thinks? The guy was driving/acting like an idiot and he managed to suck you into his angry world. You lost control, even though it was just a little bit; he acted like a fool and you followed his example. What if the guy had really been some sort of psycho? Your experience was a perfect example of a situation that can escalate if at least one of the people involved doesn't show good judgement by letting it go. I often carry a handgun in my car and I find it has a very calming effect in that type of situation. It's very clear in my mind that a minor situation like that can escalate into a deadly confrontation. It's just as clear that it's a situation not worth killing someone over even though I have the means to easily do it. The result? It just doesn't seem serious enough to get upset about. As for non-handicapped people parking in handicapped spaces and too many items in the express line, it's the same thing. I think what you are really doing is trying to get even with the world for past injustices. In other words, I think that if you start talking shit to someone for wrongly taking a handicapped space, you will be really dumping on that person not just for that one instance, but for every instance you have seen when you did not say something. That isn't fair. Nor will it likely influence the person's behavior. It will just make you feel better. Is it worth it? Walt Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
GTAVercetti 0 #21 September 28, 2005 Quote. Edit: I've been chased around my neighborhood for less than this, buy a car full of gang bangers. I also understand that you're from Texas, like NM I think lots of people in TX have guns in their cars. I would back this up. And I was not even yelling at a car. I just stopped cause I thought they wanted to pass me. Instead, they drive by yelling and screaming. then I passed them again as one dude got out and started running after my car (I was in a residental lot driving slow) and spitting at me. These days, it is best to ignore it.Why yes, my license number is a palindrome. Thank you for noticing. Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
waltappel 1 #22 September 28, 2005 QuoteEh, most parts of TX ain't that bad, hell I've lived here for all of my life and never seen someone with a gun outside of their house or a gun range. If you get too far away from the city there's plenty of trigger-happy rednecks though. I think you would be truly surprised how many people carry guns. Just because you don't see them doesn't mean they aren't there. Carrying a concealed handgun in Texas is a felony if you don't have a permit. That motivates people to keep them well out of sight. If you do have a permit, the law requires you to keep it concealed from view. Walt Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
popsjumper 2 #23 September 28, 2005 Quote... I think what you are really doing is trying to get even with the world for past injustices. In other words, I think that if you start talking shit to someone for wrongly taking a handicapped space, you will be really dumping on that person not just for that one instance, but for every instance you have seen when you did not say something. That isn't fair. Nor will it likely influence the person's behavior. It will just make you feel better. Is it worth it? Walt The doctor is IN. Mis-assumption: Those who are assertive talk shit and vent anger. My reality and yours are quite different. I think we're all Bozos on this bus. Falcon5232, SCS8170, SCSA353, POPS9398, DS239 Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
popsjumper 2 #24 September 28, 2005 Rebecca....not to get on your case but that wasn't assertiveness...it was angry reaction.My reality and yours are quite different. I think we're all Bozos on this bus. Falcon5232, SCS8170, SCSA353, POPS9398, DS239 Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Brains 2 #25 September 28, 2005 QuoteIf you get too far away from the city there's plenty of trigger-happy rednecks though. And as long as you remember that city slicker, you'll be all right. Never look down on someone, unless they are going down on you. Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
