RANT: Beaver modeling guidelines

[SudsyFist 0]

I'm so fed up with this crap. Ladies, if you ever consider putting your naughty bits in front of a camera, please take heed of the following:

1. In case you haven't noticed, the 70's were thirty years ago. Shave that shit.
2. In reference to #1, do so within an hour or two of the shoot. Five o'clock clam shadow is unacceptable. Week-old chemo growout is downright gross. Take Benadryl if you're prone to rash.
3. Also in reference to #1, there's a spot at the top of your crack you undoubtedly missed. Go over it a few times; otherwise, I'm gonna make your asshole look like Bert from Sesame Street.
4. TP tickertape/confetti littering the spokes: NOT SEXY.

That is all.

[NWFlyer 2]

Think it might be time to get laid?

"There is only one basic human right, the right to do as you damn well please. And with it comes the only basic human duty, the duty to take the consequences." -P.J. O'Rourke

[diablopilot 2]

You're disturbed.

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You're not as good as you think you are. Seriously.

[ladyskydiver 0]

So...do you, also, take as good of care of your privates as you're demanding of women? 'Cause let's be real...not a single one of us women really appreciate flossing or choking on hair when we're hoping to get a piece.

Life is short! Break the rules! Forgive quickly! Kiss slowly! Love truly, Laugh uncontrollably. And never regret anything that made you smile.

[Viking 0]

Dude i swear you have no shame what so ever!!!

I swear you must have footprints on the back of your helmet - chicagoskydiver
My God has a bigger dick than your god -George Carlin

[swedishcelt 0]

As to all of them. You first.


And #3 just offends me. That was a very violent statement and kind of scary.

[NtheSeaOrSky 0]

Maybe present your would be models with a portfolio of the 'good', the 'bad' and the 'ugly' beforehand??

Bert from sesame street

Life is not fair and there are no guarantees...

[Smilie 0]

hmmm, I hope to never meet this guy. His attitude is horrible!

...
Fear not death. Fear instead the unlived life.

[Ashtanga 0]

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hmmm, I hope to never meet this guy. His attitude is horrible!

I've met and jumped with him back in 2001. He is a nice guy. A little off sometimes but still nice.

[freeflysteve 0]

whoever you think you are and hey i am a reasonable guy i have never read so much shit.
I think you wanna find another website wankers.com would probably be a good start.

Swooping, huh? I love that stuff ... all the flashing lights and wailing sirens ... it's very exciting!

[skymama 37]

Steve has a really weird sense of humor, but he is relatively harmless and actually a pretty nice guy.

She is Da Man, and you better not mess with Da Man,
because she will lay some keepdown on you faster than, well, really fast. ~Billvon

[freeflysteve 0]

thanks skymama
maybe i am on the wrong site!
not my kind of humour,i have respect for women,full stop.
blue skies

Swooping, huh? I love that stuff ... all the flashing lights and wailing sirens ... it's very exciting!

[skymama 37]

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not my kind of humour,i have respect for women,full stop.

Well, he does have a point, although he stated it rather crudely. Maybe I can help...

Ladies, sometimes it is fun to take nude pictures and it can really spice up your sex life. However, we must remember that just because we are behind closed doors, it doesn't mean we can be lax in our grooming. We still need to present ourselves in our best light. Good grooming is always a must, from our heads down to our toes. Taking that extra time to take special care around your vagina will make your man happy, which may in turn make your special time together better for you in the end. It's a win-win situation for everyone.

She is Da Man, and you better not mess with Da Man,
because she will lay some keepdown on you faster than, well, really fast. ~Billvon

[Thanatos340 1]

he he he.. Skymama said "Vagina".. Hehehehe
Sorry.. Feeling a little extra immature today!

Actually this is a very serious topic. I think we can all agree... No one likes hair in their Food!!

A little Landing Strip or love patch is fine... But Jungle Love went out in the 70`s!!

Maybe if I feel brave I might post my humorous story about finally getting around to taking my own advise and clear cutting the forest.. Ball shaving can trickier than it looks!!

[NtheSeaOrSky 0]

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my humorous story about finally getting around to taking my own advise and clear cutting the forest.. Ball shaving can trickier than it looks!!

Now THIS I want to hear!!!!!!

Life is not fair and there are no guarantees...

[dunesurfer 0]

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And #3 just offends me. That was a very violent statement and kind of scary.

I believe he meant that the aforementioned orifice would resemble "Bert" in a photograph, not that he would bring anyone harm. Steve has a wild sense of humor but is not the violent type.

[Ashtanga 0]

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I'm gonna make your asshole look like Bert from Sesame Street.

You have to admit that this is funny.

Bert here...

http://www.mohrmann-boltz.de/bilder/images/ernie_bert.jpg

[Smilie 0]

All right, I will grant that this guy may be a nice guy, and that he may have been trying to be funny. However, having never met him, it doesn't make for a good first impression. As to taking care of ourselves, I agree, it is very important. Men owe us they same though, not just with thier intamate parts, but even thier faces if they do normally shave. It is just as unpleasant to kiss a guy with five o'clock shadow as it is for him to dive on a chick with same. *shrug* I guess he could have just presented his view a little less offensively.

Jess

...
Fear not death. Fear instead the unlived life.

[skyberdyber 0]

Dude. Absolutely hilarious!
You're never gettin laid talking like that, but it was absolutely hilarious.
Sorry girls, I appreciate the raw humor. Hope you don't it against me!

http://www.skydiveatlanta.com
http://www.musiccityskydiving.com

[AlexCrowley 0]

I'm sending this to my grandmother. I'm hoping she takes the hint.

TV's got them images, TV's got them all, nothing's shocking.

[Anvilbrother 0]

How do you know the "status" of your grandmothers nether regions??????? I mean you are sending this as a "hint" does that mean you were disatisfied with the condtion of her bean patch the last time you inspected it??/

Postes r made from an iPad or iPhone. Spelling and gramhair mistakes guaranteed move along,

[livendive 8]

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Maybe if I feel brave I might post my humorous story about finally getting around to taking my own advise and clear cutting the forest.. Ball shaving can trickier than it looks!!

What he said. Clippers with no guard can be hazardous if you don't pay attention to what's going between the blades.

Blues,
Dave

"I AM A PROFESSIONAL EXTREME ATHLETE!"
(drink Mountain Dew)

[NtheSeaOrSky 0]

I don't think Mr. Sudsy has any trouble in the getting laid department

And lighten up everyone! If you notice these were modeling guidelines...my guess is most of you women wouldn't show up to take a portrait with your hair a muss, your teeth dirty, without makeup and generally a mess.....same for the beaver..if you want it to look nice in photos, better present it nice
for crying out loud our man is a photographer not a magician!!!!

Life is not fair and there are no guarantees...

[mcneill79 0]

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Maybe if I feel brave I might post my humorous story about finally getting around to taking my own advise and clear cutting the forest.. Ball shaving can trickier than it looks!!

Are you feeling brave yet?

[ladyskydiver 0]

I found his post funny.

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It is just as unpleasant to kiss a guy with five o'clock shadow as it is for him to dive on a chick with same.

For me, a five o'clock shadow is a total turn on. I love the feel of it when a man is kissing my neck and has a five o'clock shadow is just lightly scraping against my neck and.....

Life is short! Break the rules! Forgive quickly! Kiss slowly! Love truly, Laugh uncontrollably. And never regret anything that made you smile.