For our military personel

[Smilie 0]

Thank you for the sacrifices you all make. I am only sad that those away from home are unable to be with loved ones on what began as a day of peace. We all do appreciate the jobs you do. Here is some humor to celebrate the day.
Little grandson asked: "Granddaddy, when you were in the Army and were posted as sentry at night, were you afraid?"

"I was, grandson, but only until I fell asleep."
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A sentry bewildered by the many formalities of guard regulations, hailed his superior officers, while serving his sentry duty, with the challenge, "Halt! Look who's here!"
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A car driver took notice of a soldier hitching a hike.

"Where are you going, boy," he asked.

"To the barracks, sir."

"Sorry, but I'm going in the opposite direction"

"So much the better!" agreed the soldier.
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Did You Know?
The term "the whole 9 yards" came from W.W.II fighter pilots in the South Pacific. When arming their airplanes on the ground, the .50 caliber machine gun ammo belts measured exactly 27 feet, before being loaded into the fuselage. If the pilots fired all their ammo at a target, it got "the whole 9 yards."
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Sergeant Hoppkins found himself in hospital. He was visited by a soldier from his platoon: "Sarge, the men are all concerned about you. We took up a collection. We bought you this apple with the money."
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An ensign on sea duty for the first time overheard a recruit say he was going 'downstairs'.

"Listen, sailor," he snarled. "Downstairs is below. That side is starboard. That's aft and that's portside. And if I hear you say one more civilian word like that I'll throw you through that little round hole window over there!"
~~~~~~~
Ten Recruits had just arrived at the training camp and were lined up for inspection.
"Hey Johnson!" yelled the drill instructor, " those are the ugliest shoes I've ever seen!"
"Yes, sir" the young man answered.
"Those shoes are really really ugly, right?" hollered the D.I again.
"Yes, sir"
"And that hair - don’t they have barbershops where you came from?"
"Yes, sir", answered the recruit.
"So why didn’t you get a haircut?"
"I was saving up for shoes, sir"
~~~~~~~
A Marine enters a barber shop for a haircut and a shave. While the barber is foaming him up, the Marine mentions that he always has problems getting a close shave around the cheeks, that it looks sloppy and distracts from his appearance.

"I have just the thing", says the barber taking a small wooden ball from a nearby drawer. "Just get a wooden ball like this and place it between your cheek and gum". "Here, let me show you how well it works".

The Marine places the ball in his mouth and the barber proceeds to give him the closest shave the Marine has ever experienced. After a few more strokes the Marine starts thinking about the ball in his mouth. So he asks in garbled speech.

"And what if I swallow it?

"No problem", says the barber, "Just bring it back tomorrow like everone else does."
~~~~~~~
Our Greatest Respect for Those Who Serve

Eulogy for a Veteran

Do not stand at my grave and weep.
I am not there, I do not sleep.

I am a thousand winds that blow.
I am the diamond glints on snow.

I am the sunlight on ripened grain.
I am the gentle autumn rain.

When you awaken in the mornings hush,
I am the swift uplifting rush
of quiet birds in circled flight,
I am the soft stars that shine at night.

Do not stand at my grave and cry,
I am not there, I did not die.
Author Unknown

...
Fear not death. Fear instead the unlived life.