No TP stories

[Broke 0]

Ok I know everyone has to have at least one of these stories... anyone want to share? I'll start.


One day I was at my old job working on a 24 hour tour. My partner and I had just dropped off a patient in NYC, and dispatch told us to head back to Nassau County. I kind of felt the rumblings in the lower reagions of my belly accompanied by the I have to S cramps. I decided there were no "Safe" bathrooms where we were so I decided to wait.

We got close to Nassau county and dispatch told us to head to North Shore Hospital at Manhassett. I though to myself, "Yes there is a safe bathroom there." We arrived at the hospital and by this time I was sweatting bullets feeling like my ass is about to explode. I went to a place where I thought there was a good bathroom to use, because it was an unmarked door and not many people knew about it, but apparently due to recent construction that bathroom was no more.

We move on to the area where the elevator we had to use was luckly there was a bathroom there, "Yes sweet relief," I thought. I went into the stall, and my partner started to take a leak. I quickly pulled down my flightsuit, and proceded to let it rip. My partner fled the bathroom laughing. As I am unloading I look over at the TP dispencer, and I though "Oh, Shit!" As to my dismay I noticed there was no where near enough TP for this job. I used up what little TP there trying to get maximum efficicency out of it. Then I went into the next stall to rob it of what little TP it had as well... Still not enough.

I had to contemplate the situation for a little bit, and came to only one conclusion. I took a bunch of paper towels, wet them under the sink and finished the job, by chucking the paper towels in the garbage. As soon as I was finished I vowed to bring my own roll of TP in with me much like whe going rock climbing. I definitally washed my hands after that one it was a messy ordeal.

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[NWFlyer 2]

Raindrops on roses and whiskers on kittens
Bright copper kettles and warm woolen mittens
Brown paper packages tied up with strings
These are a few of my favorite things

Cream colored ponies and crisp apple streudels
Doorbells and sleigh bells and schnitzel with noodles
Wild geese that fly with the moon on their wings
These are a few of my favorite things

Girls in white dresses with blue satin sashes
Snowflakes that stay on my nose and eyelashes
Silver white winters that melt into springs
These are a few of my favorite things

When the dog bites
When the bee stings
When I'm feeling sad
I simply remember my favorite things
And then I don't feel so bad

"There is only one basic human right, the right to do as you damn well please. And with it comes the only basic human duty, the duty to take the consequences." -P.J. O'Rourke

[freeflir29 0]

Quote

As soon as I was finished I vowed to bring my own roll of TP in with me much like whe going rock climbing.

Every day I go to work I bring what we call an E&E (Escape and Evasion) bag. It's a "3 day assault ruck" with items like 2 bottles of water, extra bulk dressings, several spare M4 magazines, a GPS, a few granola bars, this time of year an extra light jacket, a "slap flare", extra smokes, 2 $100 bills, an E&E map, and of course a roll of TP! Never leave home without it. In fact.........I don't go anywhere in a lot of countries without some TP.