boinky 0 #1 November 24, 2005 - "I was sprayed by a skunk." - "I tripped over my dog and was knocked unconscious." - "My bus broke down and was held up by robbers." - "I was arrested as a result of mistaken identity." - "I forgot to come back to work after lunch." - "I couldn't find my shoes." - "I hurt myself bowling." - "I was spit on by a venomous snake." - "I totaled my wife's jeep in a collision with a cow." - "A hitman was looking for me." - "My curlers burned my hair and I had to go to the hairdresser." - "I eloped." - "My cat unplugged my alarm clock." - "I had to be there for my husband's grand jury trial." - "I had to ship my grandmother's bones to India." (note: she had passed away 20 years ago) So what's your excuse?Nina Are we called "DAWGs" because we stick our noses up people's butts? (RIP Buzz) Yep, you're a postwhore-billyvance Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
swedishcelt 0 #2 November 24, 2005 You should hear some of the ones I get for not doing homework!! Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
RhondaLea 4 #3 November 24, 2005 I think that instead of calling in sick, people should call in well. rlIf you don't know where you're going, you should know where you came from. Gullah Proverb Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
waltappel 1 #4 November 24, 2005 QuoteI think that instead of calling in sick, people should call in well. rl "Yes, Mr. Bossperson, this is Walt. I'm not going to be able to make it to work today because I feel way too good to be spending my time in such a miserable shithole. Not to worry, though. I should be feeling shitty enough to be in tomorrow." I dunno, rl, it would take a certain kind of person to really pull that off. I'm not sure I could do it. Walt Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
boinky 0 #5 November 24, 2005 Hey, it shows honesty. Isn't that what jobs are always asking for? Nina Are we called "DAWGs" because we stick our noses up people's butts? (RIP Buzz) Yep, you're a postwhore-billyvance Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
waltappel 1 #6 November 24, 2005 QuoteHey, it shows honesty. Isn't that what jobs are always asking for? Yeah, but I'm not sure they really mean it. After all, if everyone was honest at work, it could get pretty abrasive. Like in meetings. "So what do you think, Walt" "I think you're mentally ill and retarded. Beyond that, I think your idea is the stupidest thing I've heard in years. Oh, and I forgot to mention, I think that tie looks really gay." Walt Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
boinky 0 #7 November 24, 2005 [B][BLACK]ROFLMAO!!![/BLACK][/B] Yeah, I see your point. But if you got fired, at least you will have probably left with some dignity and a clean heart and conscious. Nina Are we called "DAWGs" because we stick our noses up people's butts? (RIP Buzz) Yep, you're a postwhore-billyvance Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Feeblemind 1 #8 November 24, 2005 Mr Bossman, This is Phil. I am having a severe eye problem and can't see coming into work today. It's so severe I will have to wear goggles to keep it from becoming worse. Fire Safety Tip: Don't fry bacon while naked Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
boinky 0 #9 November 24, 2005 Ooooh...I [B]LIKE[/B] IT!!!! Creative, not insulting, and dropping hints that you will be flinging yourself from airplanes...but never actually saying so. [EVIL] VERY NICE! Nina Are we called "DAWGs" because we stick our noses up people's butts? (RIP Buzz) Yep, you're a postwhore-billyvance Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
waltappel 1 #10 November 24, 2005 Quote[B][BLACK]ROFLMAO!!![/BLACK][/B] Yeah, I see your point. But if you got fired, at least you will have probably left with some dignity and a clean heart and conscious. I'm not too sure--I really don't like attacking or embarrassing people, but I plead totally guilty to thinking things like that at times. For some reason, I was in a really sarcastic mood a couple of nights ago. I felt really pleasant, but while I was in a grocery store the most mean-spirited, sarcastic thoughts were flashing through my mind. Like when I walked past an old guy who had a huge frown on his face. I immediately thought, "Gee, who stepped on your nuts today, Smiley?" Later on, when I saw someone else, I thought, "Sorry--you're just not going to make it into the top 10 million finalists for genius of the year." I have no clue why I was thinking crap like that, but it did start to seem kind of funny after a while. Not so much the smartass thoughts I was thinking, but the fact that I was thinking them. Some other smartass remarks: When I was a kid, my brother and I were walking down a street with my father. As we were passing an open manhole with some guys down in there working, my father paused, looked down in the hole and asked, "Catching anything?" (I know which side of the family my smartass attitude comes from!) Another time, I a friend and I were walking down a side street in Nuevo Laredo, Mexico. There was a little boy taking a crap on a newspaper in the middle of the street. My friend turned to me and smugly said, "At least he's paper trained!" Walt Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
waltappel 1 #11 November 24, 2005 QuoteMr Bossman, This is Phil. I am having a severe eye problem and can't see coming into work today. It's so severe I will have to wear goggles to keep it from becoming worse. Now YOU could pull that one off! Walt Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
sinker 0 #12 November 24, 2005 QuoteOoooh...I [B]LIKE[/B] IT!!!! Creative, not insulting, and dropping hints that you will be flinging yourself from airplanes...but never actually saying so. [EVIL] VERY NICE! nina, you're not having any scorpions in lieu of turkey tomorrow, are you? -the artist formerly known as sinker Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
boinky 0 #13 November 24, 2005 Quotenina, you're not having any scorpions in lieu of turkey tomorrow, are you? OH HELL NO!!! My kids came to visit on Saturday. I gave 4 away to the DZ on Sunday. (Scorpions...not kids. Although.....) Hmmm...there's a strange phenomena. Kids arrive...scorpions leave. If I'd have known THAT was all it would have taken, I'd have stolen someone's kids a long time ago to do battle with them! GOD, I HATE THOSE LITTLE FUCKERS!!!! But I do hear there's a restaurant named Luby's that is serving some scrumptious food instead! Nina Are we called "DAWGs" because we stick our noses up people's butts? (RIP Buzz) Yep, you're a postwhore-billyvance Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
sinker 0 #14 November 24, 2005 QuoteI gave 4 away to the DZ on Sunday. (Scorpions...not kids. Although.....) what the hell did you do that for? did they WANT them? i'd hate to find one on the ride to altitude... -the artist formerly known as sinker Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
boinky 0 #15 November 24, 2005 Quotewhat the hell did you do that for? 'Cause the DZO's wife said she wanted them. She took the other one who got into the fight with the spiders (obviously, we know who won [B]THAT[/B] fight) home. It has turned into a learning project for their kids. One of her son's even wrote some great project about them. Quote i'd hate to find one on the ride to altitude... OMG...I couldn't even picture the hysteria THAT would cause. But imagine opening the door and flicking one of the little bastards out....and then being the person on the ground that it lands on after a 14,000 foot fall. Nina Are we called "DAWGs" because we stick our noses up people's butts? (RIP Buzz) Yep, you're a postwhore-billyvance Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
sinker 0 #16 November 24, 2005 w/ their relatively light, somewhat flattish (is that even a word?) bodies (high drag), i could totally see 'em surviving the fall... damn that would suck... getting beaned w/ a scorpion that was in free fall... of all the dumb luck... eve worse would be to have one secretly crawl up your rig or jumpsuit, stow away as you jump, then after you open, have it crawl out on you... ICK! FUCKING ICK!!!! People on the ground would be all, "look at Boinky! She's doing some crazy dance shit under canopy! Is she on crack?" "Naw, just playin w/ her pet scorpions again... crazy woman!" -the artist formerly known as sinker Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
boinky 0 #17 November 24, 2005 OMG!!! ROFLMAO!!! I have no doubt that they would survive. It would figure. It would be Kathy with the pet scorpions now! Nina Are we called "DAWGs" because we stick our noses up people's butts? (RIP Buzz) Yep, you're a postwhore-billyvance Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
sunshine 2 #18 November 24, 2005 I called in last year with the best excuse ever. I said i was having quickie sex with my boyfriend before i had to come into work and the condom fell off so i had to go to the ER to get it removed. My boss said to just come in afterwards that it shouldn't take too long. Thats when i said "umm...it's stuck in my ass and i doubt i'll feel well enough to work after getting it removed from there." ___________________________________________ meow I get a Mike hug! I get a Mike hug! Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
boinky 0 #19 November 24, 2005 Quote"umm...it's stuck in my ass and i doubt i'll feel well enough to work after getting it removed from there." Nina Are we called "DAWGs" because we stick our noses up people's butts? (RIP Buzz) Yep, you're a postwhore-billyvance Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
sinker 0 #20 November 24, 2005 QuoteOMG!!! ROFLMAO!!! "tears of mirth"... that's a good one... have a happy thanksgiving girl, you certainly have a lot to be thankful for... like not being stung to death! -the artist formerly known as sinker Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
sinker 0 #21 November 24, 2005 OMG! you're so funny! you didn't really say that.... yeah, you prolly did... -the artist formerly known as sinker Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
sunshine 2 #22 November 24, 2005 QuoteOMG! you're so funny! you didn't really say that.... yeah, you prolly did... Hell yeah i did. I really really needed that day off work so i had to come up with something good. ___________________________________________ meow I get a Mike hug! I get a Mike hug! Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
boinky 0 #23 November 24, 2005 Quote"tears of mirth"... that's a good one... Yup....."tears of mirth." Haven't you ever laughed so hard you had tears rolling down your face? I try to do it at least once a week. Keeps me young and happy! Quotehave a happy thanksgiving girl, you certainly have a lot to be thankful for... like not being stung to death! Why yes...yes I do!!! I'm very proud of my record (knocking on wood now). I've been in Texas for 70 days and the score is: Nina- 48+ Scorpions- 0 I have tons of things to be thankful for. I'm a very happy, appreciative, loving life sort of girl! Thanks for the good wishes. I hope you have a great day too. Nina Are we called "DAWGs" because we stick our noses up people's butts? (RIP Buzz) Yep, you're a postwhore-billyvance Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
lisamariewillbe 1 #24 November 24, 2005 your to cute and sweet to be a killer ....... Sudsy Fist: i don't think i'd ever say this Sudsy Fist: but you're looking damn sudsydoable in this Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
boinky 0 #25 November 24, 2005 Quoteyour to cute and sweet to be a killer ....... You and Mike have been trading notes about me again, haven't you? *Makes note to have Mike have LISAMARIE'S eyes checked when he comes home* Nina Are we called "DAWGs" because we stick our noses up people's butts? (RIP Buzz) Yep, you're a postwhore-billyvance Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
