When did you start your family (have kids)?

[AggieDave 6]

Out of curiosity when did you and your other start your family? Did you feel like you were ready? Did you plan to start your family? Are you glad you started your family when you did or do you wish you had started sooner or perhaps waited till later?

No, we're not pregnant, after spending the afternoon with the in-laws I was thinking about this subject.

--"When I die, may I be surrounded by scattered chrome and burning gasoline."

[SarahC07 0]

Hehe, I was gonna say! Whoa...

How was your Thanksgiving, Dave?

[AggieDave 6]

Thanksgiving wasn't bad, it was with the in-laws, but it was fun, the food was good and the company was entertaining. I believe they still think I'm a dirtbag, but they're starting to warm up.

--"When I die, may I be surrounded by scattered chrome and burning gasoline."

[Lindercles 0]

well, considering i already fall into the 25-30 category and am nowhere near marriage, much less starting a family, i'm guessing it will be 35+, if ever.

so they think you're a dirtbag, eh? sounds like things are pretty much where they're supposed to be so far...

[murrays 0]

I started my first family when I was 23....and fathered my second son when I was 44 (different wives). I wasn't ready to be a father the first time around. I'm a much better Dad now...has something to do with growing up, quitting drinking and smoking and having a career.

I would recommend that you get a good financial base before starting a family...doing school, being broke and having little mouths to feed is a tough job.

--
Murray

"No tyranny is so irksome as petty tyranny: the officious demands of policemen, government clerks, and electromechanical gadgets." - Edward Abbey

[AggieDave 6]

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so they think you're a dirtbag, eh? sounds like things are pretty much where they're supposed to be so far...

It kind of comes from when I met them for the first time. Morgan (my wife) was going to do her first jump, a tandem I was taking her on, they both decided to come do a jump with her. I was doing back-to-backs out of a 182 for most of the day and very busy. So I met them after running up from the landing area, grabbing a rig, checking their harness and saying "hi, I'm Dave I'm dating your daughter, follow me onto the plane and we'll talk about the jump..." The father-in-law (step-father for her) liked me from that point. The mother-in-law...well...not so much.

Oh well, that was back when I was a full time skydiver, now I have a "real" job and a "respectable" job so she's *starting* to warm up to me...starting to. That and we (Morgan and I) had just moved in together, we weren't engaged yet much less married. Now its 3 years later and we're happilied married, so the mother-in-law is starting to believe that I'm serious about this relationship with her daughter.

--"When I die, may I be surrounded by scattered chrome and burning gasoline."

[AggieDave 6]

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I would recommend that you get a good financial base before starting a family...doing school, being broke and having little mouths to feed is a tough job.

That is my plan. I'm not in school anymore although my wife is finishing up her degree in Civil Engineering as we speak. I have a good job with a very good chance of progessing up the food chain for the next 25 years, but we definately are still fairly broke. Thus we're wanting to wait to start a family for a few more years, but as you know sometimes things happen (they haven't happened yet...as far as I know). I was just curious as to what other people have experienced.

--"When I die, may I be surrounded by scattered chrome and burning gasoline."

[Lindercles 0]

when my sister first got married my whole family was all about her husband, but it took me a couple of years to fully trust him. i guess some people are just like that. the ironic part is that she and i met him at the same time (working at a restaurant we all worked at together when were teenagers) and they'd been dating for three years before they ever got married. of course now, seven years and two kids later, i think he's a really awesome guy and we get along fabulously. i think it's just normal for some people to mistrust anyone who's close to their loved ones at first. she'll come around.

[pincheck 0]

To quite honest dave if you wait for the optimal time to have kids, you never would. My wife and i had our first at 28, 4 years after getting married. We just felt we wanted other things before settling down to a normal life style. When kids turn up you tend to have a more adapt and survive what life throw's at you

Billy-Sonic Haggis Flickr-Fun

[freeflir29 0]

I had a son when I was 25. It was WAY too early for me. I in NO way was "stable" enough or ready career wise to be a proper father. I'm on my 5th job and I have moved 6 times in the 10 years he has been here. I also got divorced from his mother when he was about 18 months old. Not pretty as far as I am concerned. Just be ready to put the rest of your life on hold while you take care of the little ones. It's an investment of all the time, money, and energy you have. It pays off really nice some days though.

[piisfish 140]

I voted 35+, because I don't think I'm gonna have kids in the next year and half

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No, we're not pregnant

hope you're doing all the training stuff though

scissors beat paper, paper beat rock, rock beat wingsuit - KarlM

[jimmytavino 16]

First of all...... it's NOT a matter of age....
20 somethings can be better parents than 30 or 40's.

For us it was when we both felt secure in our employment,,,, She in a position which would allow a decent maternity leave, and Me with a job that could enable Her to EXTEND that leave for the 4 years that she took off...
1st child...'83
2nd child...'85
Back to work for my wife when she wanted to...'88....
We also waited til we owned our 1st house,,, (Kids in an apartment with neighbors right on top of you is bad news.. ) had BOTH our vehicles paid off,,, very little C card debt and some $$$$$ in the bank....Parenting IS serious business....This approach worked for Us.Also,,, help from the families to babysit once in a while is a gooood thing,,, so keep schmooozing the M-in-LawOh yes... I was 30 Nancy was 29...we'd been married 2 yrs. and 2 months when Allison was born..
I then spent the next 10 years making a TOTAL of 150 skydives......hahahahaha
............jmy from NY

[rdesilets 0]

Well.. I never thought I was "ready" to have kids.. now have a 3.5 year old and one on the way.

I was 30.. As with many of the posts, we both had good jobs, had a home, had $0 debt and some $ in the bank. It's not a prerequisite, but just makes life easier when you are not "struggling" with money issues (IMHO).

I work from home (computer geek) so that was a huge help and my wife quit her job.

I disagree with another post that said to prepare to put your life on hold. It's all about balance. Actually, I skydive more now than I ever did... but it's not all weekend every weekend. Saturdays I head to the DZ for 3/4 day, home by 4pm. Luckily with turbines, I can make 5-6 jumps and still be home at 4pm... For special events (Big ways, boogies, etc) we (my wife and I) work it out, maybe I will take a thursday and friday off from work to hang around/help around the house and then split for the weekend... balance..

I love having my son and can't wait for another. Just my $.02 FWIW.

[FallnAngel 0]

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when did you and your other start your family?

After 22 years of marriage, and at age 42, I'm 11 weeks pregnant with our first

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Did you feel like you were ready?

We feel completely ready for children, although we would have felt the same 10 years ago as well.

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Are you glad you started your family when you did or do you wish you had started sooner or perhaps waited till later?

I would say that if your relationship is solid, you are financially secure with stable jobs, and you have the living space to do it..early 30's is the best time to start a family. Considering the age I will be when my child is 18, I should have taken my own advice and started this adventure about a decade ago

Karen

[cocheese 0]

NA GA DA
(not gonna do it)

[AggieDave 6]

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NA GA DA

Ah, this wouldn't be a reference to the SNL where Dana Carvey (sp?) was playing Bush 41 saying "not gonna do it" then complete goes nuts muttering nonsense would it? If so, good on ya, I love that sketch.

--"When I die, may I be surrounded by scattered chrome and burning gasoline."

[cocheese 0]

Yep. Kinda caveman-like too.
All my life i said no kids, but you never know what life will bring and how time can change the mind.

[jshatzkin 0]

I'm getting ready to turn 30 and my husband is 37. We have been together 9 years. No kids yet. We have both finished our master's degrees and have very good and stable jobs. We have nice paid for cars and many years of good financial investments. We were planning to begin a family in the next year, but now I am having second thoughts.

1. The thought of the attention and time involved is very intimidating.

2. I must admit, having just started skydiving, I would like to do this awhile longer before having kids!

Maybe I am just making excuses!

Jen

[airtwardo 7]

There is no wrong or right answer Bro!

You will know when it's time you guys to multiply.

I waited until my early 40's, and then didn't take a nibble, but chomped the whole sammich!
0 to 3 kids in one day!(adopted)

If I would have know how cool it is to have some crumb munchers around, I would have done it 10 years earlier.

~ If you choke a Smurf, what color does it turn? ~

[JohnRich 4]

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Out of curiosity when did you and your other start your family? Did you feel like you were ready? Did you plan to start your family? Are you glad you started your family when you did or do you wish you had started sooner or perhaps waited till later?

Questions that plague mankind...

I had two kids by the age of 21. Wasn't really mature enough for it, but handled it, and it was rough. Poor as hell too. Xmas gifts one year for the kids was a plastic Disney cereal bowl. Woohoo! That wasn't an easy way to do it. But on the other hand, by the time I was 40, the kids were grown up and out on there own, and Dad was still young enough to go out and enjoy life and his new freedom, and by that time was making plenty of money to enjoy life his way.

One of my brothers took the opposite approach. Went to college, good job, bought a house - then had two kids. They had the emotional maturity and the financial means, so it was easier for them. On the other hand, they won't be free of the kids until they're 55 years old.

Which is better? Hell, I don't know. I don't have any regrets doing it my way. My brother doesn't have any regrets doing it his way. Tough times really bond you together and can make for a strong family. But I don't think there really is any "right" time. The right time is whenever you think you can handle it, emotionally and financially. And you have to be willing to make a lot of sacrifices - that's the big one. Be ready to not have money for yourself, not have time for yourself, and not have sleep for yourself. It's hard work.

[airtwardo 7]

The right time is whenever you think you can handle it, emotionally and financially. And you have to be willing to make a lot of sacrifices - that's the big one. Be ready to not have money for yourself, not have time for yourself, and not have sleep for yourself. It's hard work.

***

Should make THAT a 'sticky' for this thread!

~ If you choke a Smurf, what color does it turn? ~

[lawrocket 3]

I was 31, Dave. No, I wasn't ready. You never are. You simply adapt.

I know lots of people who have had kids too young. I don't know many who waited too long to have kids. Typically, the older ou are the more ready you are for them. And you're just a kid!

My wife is hotter than your wife.

[airtwardo 7]

I don't know many who waited too long to have kids.

***

Sometimes I wonder if maybe we didn't wait too long...
Only because I just don't have the energy to do EVERYTHING I'd like to with all three.

I kind of feel a bit guilty at times.

~ If you choke a Smurf, what color does it turn? ~

[lawrocket 3]

I look at it this way. I've not got the energy to do EVERYTHING I want to do with my boy. I'm 32 and I have extreme ADHD and I still simply lack the energy to keep up with him.

But, reading this post, which impacted me in a pretty powerful way, I determined that it seems to me that you do more than enough.

I'm older now. I'm more secure. And that leaves me more time to spend loving my son, and less time worrying about how I'm going to find the time to love him. I'll tell you, Mr. Twardo, THAT post of yours had a tremendous effect on my outlook.

edited to fix dead link

My wife is hotter than your wife.

[tbrown 26]

I was 28, my wife turned 25 during her first pregnancy, and we'd been married a little over 3 years. Then we had our second kid about 4 1/2 years later.

It's good if you can have certain things accomplished with jobs, home, etc, but the truth is you'll never really have "enough" money to have a kid. It's a decision you have to make for other reasons and it will cause you to make decisions that will involve sacrifices. But they're so worth it.

I think having some time to yourself is even more important. I mean preganant happens, so you should go ahead and have your baby, but if you can hold off a few years you'll never regret the years together that you give each other. Each baby will be "the boss" for the first year or so, you'll be "the help", on call 24/7. It took us about 18 months to get back to a normal existence with each of the kids.

Your humble servant.....Professor Gravity !